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Every woman I've ever been with has taken food off my plate and often without asking. I've had women try it on a first date! The most annoying part is when I ask "hey, I'm going to go grab some takeout. Would you like anything?" and she says no she isn't hungry. But when I get home all of the sudden she's hungry and starts eating off my plate and sometimes asks if she can eat half. Of course I get irritated, then she acts like I'm the bad guy for not offering some of my food.
Most of my male friends have told me that their female partners do this as well, so it doesn't just seem like my bad luck.
Have you experienced this in a relationship? Do men do this as well?
I am a bit late to the chat but I can tell you, I often say NO to the offer and then when I see and smell the food, I get hungry even if I was not before. My bf ALWAYS brings extra food just in case. That's what a good man does - you should try it instead of getting annoyed. And if she doesn't want it you have leftovers for tomorrow. A win-win.
Look, I don't mind sharing my food in certain situations like if it's a huge portion or we ordered 3 entrees from takeout, but it's rude as hell to eat of someone's plate without asking (unless it's established that both parties are okay with it), rude to reach across the table without asking, and even ruder to eat off someone's plate when they haven't even had the first bite.
Okay, I get that this is annoying and rude. I would never do that. However, is it really THAT important? I am sure you have some flaws, too.
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
Okay, I get that this is annoying and rude. I would never do that. However, is it really THAT important? I am sure you have some flaws, too.
It may not be super important but there is no rule that anyone has to put up with people who purposely do annoying and rude BS even after you’ve expressed you have a problem with it and they need to cut it out.
Okay, I get that this is annoying and rude. I would never do that. However, is it really THAT important? I am sure you have some flaws, too.
No, not really that important and I can't really explain why it bothers me. Perhaps it's just because it happens all the time rather than like once a month. And also we've had the discussion about not doing it several times and it seems to go in one ear and out the other. It's disrespectful to keep doing something when your partner has told you that it bothers them.
To me the food really is not the issue, but I am concerned that you have had repeated discussions with this woman a dozen or more times and nothing has changed regarding her behavior. This woman is not listening to you. She is ignoring your preferences. You should not need to resort to passive agressive behavior like putting hot sause on your food to get her to respect your boundaries.
Agree with this. In the grand scheme of things, this might not be the biggest dealbreaker in the world, but the OP has told this woman several times that he does not like her taking food off of his plate without asking. She's not listening to him, and that's not cute.
It’s definitely a cultural thing. I’ve grown up learning that sharing is caring, especially coming to foods. I think it’s endearing sharing foods with my loved ones, whether it’s my S.O. or my child, or my family or even close friends. I wouldn’t do this on first date or with someone I’m not in a serious relationship with. No one I’ve been with having an issue with this.
It’s simply an incompatibility if you’re grossed out or annoyed about this with someone who think it’s a loving gesture. Just move on and be with someone who shares your principle.
I am a bit late to the chat but I can tell you, I often say NO to the offer and then when I see and smell the food, I get hungry even if I was not before. My bf ALWAYS brings extra food just in case. That's what a good man does - you should try it instead of getting annoyed. And if she doesn't want it you have leftovers for tomorrow. A win-win.
But I call bs on this I'm-not-hungry bit. Unless you JUST ate, who isn't always at least a little bit hungry all the time, or at least has enough self-awareness that they KNOW that when someone they are with is going to get food and food is going to be in the room, they aren't going want at least some?
What about the part where there's just enough pasta left for one and she says she'll eat the salad and chicken and then she takes his pasta anyway behind his back?
I agree, though, about doing like oh-eve's bf and getting something extra. Then watch and see if she still tries to play some kind of game with going after your food even when you got some for her. If she is just hungry even thought she claimed not to have been before, she's got her fries or whatever. IF she's jerking your chain, and still goes after something on your plate even when you got her something of her own, then you know this is manipulative behavior, and it's never going to stop.
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