Eating food of my plate (call, romantic, conversation, feelings)
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I also think that the women he is meeting aren't The Ones.
Dating these days is often a game of attraction or lust at first sight. It's very much possible that when he finally find someone who would feel just right at the first sight, he happily would share every single fry and much more, without feeling annoyed
I also think that the women he is meeting aren't The Ones.
Dating these days is often a game of attraction or lust at first sight. It's very much possible that when he finally find someone who would feel just right at the first sight, he happily would share every single fry and much more, without feeling annoyed
Ha, good point. And remember, it wasn't simply about sharing food in the first place. It was that these low-class bimbos pretend not to be hungry when he offers to buy them something of their own and then start taking HIS food. That's what is creepy about the whole thing. It's scheming and dishonest and manipulative.
Perhaps the OP should use this behavior as his barometer of whether this is a woman he wants to continue with. And hey, in the meantime, he might get some action at the cost of a few fries, hehehe.
And remember, it wasn't simply about sharing food in the first place. It was that these low-class bimbos pretend not to be hungry when he offers to buy them something of their own and then start taking HIS food. That's what is creepy about the whole thing. It's scheming and dishonest and manipulative.
That's how I see it. Creepy is the right word. That's why I'm also not on board with the solution being to order extra fries. It's not about who eats how many fries. It's about the red flag that her behavior demonstrates.
I'm not optimistic that somebody who displays that behavior would learn any positive lessons. You'd tell the person that it's about boundaries, but they'd spin it as you pettily not wanting to share your fries.
Nah. Somebody has to be the voice of sanity in this forum.
Let's lay out the scenario. You're on a date with someone with whom you have some chemistry. You go to a nice restaurant. The light is perfect. The wine is pouring. The conversation is stellar. You are connected in ways large and small. Until your date takes his or her fork, spears a bite of your fish and says, "Hey, let me try that."
And you're freaking out about that. That is some seriously messed up stuff there. Because that's a person who is comfortable enough around you and is actually trying to connect with you in a pretty intimate way. But because you're going to be neurotic about matters, you say "No" or quietly write off that person?
So, yeah, go on and do it. But don't come on here months from now and wonder why you can't find anyone in life. It never occurs to anyone making those kinds of complaints how seriously neurotic they truly are.
Nah. Somebody has to be the voice of sanity in this forum.
Let's lay out the scenario. You're on a date with someone with whom you have some chemistry. You go to a nice restaurant. The light is perfect. The wine is pouring. The conversation is stellar. You are connected in ways large and small. Until your date takes his or her fork, spears a bite of your fish and says, "Hey, let me try that."
And you're freaking out about that. That is some seriously messed up stuff there. Because that's a person who is comfortable enough around you and is actually trying to connect with you in a pretty intimate way. But because you're going to be neurotic about matters, you say "No" or quietly write off that person?
So, yeah, go on and do it. But don't come on here months from now and wonder why you can't find anyone in life. It never occurs to anyone making those kinds of complaints how seriously neurotic they truly are.
Well, lol, while I wouldn't exactly like that either--someone helping themselves to my food without being offered or really asking--that's not what the OP was about. I'd personally be hard put not to stab a person in the hand with my fork if they started coming after the food on my plate without asking or being offered. But again, that's not what the situation is that's being discussed.
Take your scenario above and adjust it to the OP's complaint. You are out on the date with the chemistry and go to the nice restaurant, but your date says, "I'm not hungry" and doesn't order anything. You ARE hungry and order a meal. THEN they take the fork and start spearing your food. Creepy, manipulative, dishonest behavior. Your date is LYING.
People sometimes just make a mountain out of a molehill. I think it’s just a normal, affectionate gesture between loving couples. If you’re not even willing to share your foods with your woman, what else would you share with her? My SO and I share foods all the time. Sometimes, we like both courses so we ordered both and eat off each other’s plate. Today, my SO went out to a new sandwich place, and he told me how delicious it was. The portion was very generous so he saved half for later. When he picked me up from my appointment, he told me about it. I just said how yummy, and he just handed it to me and said “you can have it if you like”. When we eat something that we think delicious, we usually feed the other too.
It's one thing if he offers something off his plate, or he just hands you something to eat. That's fine. My husband often picks up something for me, if he was out and about, and got hungry. He'll bring something home for me too.
But it's quite another thing to help yourself without even asking. Like I said, I've NEVER done that, and I never will. If you want to offer me something, that's cool. But I would NEVER just grab off of someone else's plate. I wouldn't even ask if I can have something off his plate.
My husband knows how it works. I don't order fries because they are not healthy. He orders fries so I can have a few.
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Take your scenario above and adjust it to the OP's complaint. You are out on the date with the chemistry and go to the nice restaurant, but your date says, "I'm not hungry" and doesn't order anything. You ARE hungry and order a meal. THEN they take the fork and start spearing your food. Creepy, manipulative, dishonest behavior.
It still wouldn't be great behavior, but sometimes you actually don't think you're hungry until you smell food, and then you're ravenous. It's not inherently manipulative or dishonest, it's just that those fries smell really good, you know?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lepoisson
Every woman I've ever been with has taken food off my plate and often without asking. I've had women try it on a first date! The most annoying part is when I ask "hey, I'm going to go grab some takeout. Would you like anything?" and she says no she isn't hungry. But when I get home all of the sudden she's hungry and starts eating off my plate and sometimes asks if she can eat half. Of course I get irritated, then she acts like I'm the bad guy for not offering some of my food.
Most of my male friends have told me that their female partners do this as well, so it doesn't just seem like my bad luck.
Have you experienced this in a relationship? Do men do this as well?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
Nah. Somebody has to be the voice of sanity in this forum.
Let's lay out the scenario. You're on a date with someone with whom you have some chemistry. You go to a nice restaurant. The light is perfect. The wine is pouring. The conversation is stellar. You are connected in ways large and small. Until your date takes his or her fork, spears a bite of your fish and says, "Hey, let me try that."
And you're freaking out about that. That is some seriously messed up stuff there. Because that's a person who is comfortable enough around you and is actually trying to connect with you in a pretty intimate way. But because you're going to be neurotic about matters, you say "No" or quietly write off that person?
So, yeah, go on and do it. But don't come on here months from now and wonder why you can't find anyone in life. It never occurs to anyone making those kinds of complaints how seriously neurotic they truly are.
Not the same scenario as the OP. In your version, she at least asked in a way, OP’s dates didn’t even do that.
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