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When I was 14 and a freshman in high school, I got asked out to the Sadie Hopkin's dance by this girl who gave me my first kiss and was the first woman who let me touch her boobs and she instigated all of this, At 14, I had completely no game. In college, there were rumors that she was gay and dating women and I was quite adament that she couldn't be gay because she had put all of these moves on me. But I was also a religious fanatic at this point, so I can also understand why she might not want to tell me of all people that she was into women. But at Dartmouth she had came out of the closet and at the Stanford Business school, she met the woman she is currently married to and I met her wife at our 10 year high school reunion when I was pretty much actively hating religion at that point. At this point this woman considers herself a lesbian and not a bisexual.
I guess my point is that there is a pretty good chance that some women you have dated or known was not 100% straight.
Gay men would probably be the best source here but I suspect that there are probably as many men who are bi or homoflexible as women, but just in the closet about it. But given how frequent women are not fully straight, I suspect there are a lot of women who have boyfriends/husbands who are open to men as well.
I voted Maybe, but I don't know. I think I just prefer people that are more vanilla I suppose for me to be with. If others want to, have at it.
On most social issues I tend to be all in for them, just not for myself. I have no issues with legalizing certain drugs, gambling, prostitution, but again, I have no interest in those things personally for myself.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I voted maybe but if a woman tells me up front they are bi, I’d not date them. Let me explain since I technically dated a bisexual woman in the past.
I would not date a woman I knew was bisexual because by doing so I’d be participating in a double standard. Bisexual men are very discriminated against by women and gay men alike. I am not going to date a bisexual woman who benefits from that double standard when if I were a bisexual male I’d never get that latitude from anyone in the dating world.
Now let me be clear. I speak and protest adamantly against anyone being discriminated against for their sexual preference in the eyes of the church, healthcare, law, and platonic ventures. But my bedroom is not an equal opportunity employer so I will discriminate as I damn well please.
I voted maybe but if a woman tells me up front they are bi, I’d not date them. Let me explain since I technically dated a bisexual woman in the past.
I would not date a woman I knew was bisexual because by doing so I’d be participating in a double standard. Bisexual men are very discriminated against by women and gay men alike. I am not going to date a bisexual woman who benefits from that double standard when if I were a bisexual male I’d never get that latitude from anyone in the dating world.
Now let me be clear. I speak and protest adamantly against anyone being discriminated against for their sexual preference in the eyes of the church, healthcare, law, and platonic ventures. But my bedroom is not an equal opportunity employer so I will discriminate as I damn well please.
This certainly makes sense to me after reading your explanation. Yes I do agree... society is hard on bisexual men and they find little support outside of that group.
Don't want to start a debate. I am curious. Do you think bisexual women are primarily lesbians?
No . . . I think the sexuality of women is more fluid. I think women who identify as bisexual could go either way and it's probably political the way they decide to go (in terms of choosing a long-term relationship). But I really don't know - it's just a feeling.
I've known a lot of bisexual men in the community I'm part of. I think that mainstream men who might be a bit on the flexible side often suppress or hide it because it's an uphill struggle against social norms and discrimination...if you get rid of that, and surround them with people who are really fine with whatever they want to be or do, more men open up about being bi or "heteroflexible" or whatever.
And yes, I would date a bi man. I have dated bi men.
But as a woman who is bi or pansexual...I've always found it a lot easier to connect with men, sexually. It is a lazy person's love life, to be honest. Going with the flow of what society considers normal, and finding interested sexual and romantic connections most easily...has just defaulted to the "straight passing" male/female combo. I am attracted to women, and I've been with women. It just seems to work out less often.
So on those grounds, if a bi man were open to attraction to men or women but simply found it easier to form connections and relationships with women, and never really had a chance to get something off the ground with another guy, and was content with his situation and not pining for anything...I could really understand that. I do find it unfortunate when people don't feel able to do things that they really want to do, though, just out of fear of what others will think of them.
But being bi, for a lot of us, does not mean an irresistible compulsion to be with both men and women...more like, "if I am into someone, I'm into them, and their gender is the less important thing." Most bi people can be completely fine with one partner, in a monogamous relationship. Just like a straight person can be faithful, they might notice attraction to other people but don't go chasing after them.
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damn well please.
