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Two good dates do not constitute cohabitating with his dog. Stop and think a minute. That is ridiculous. Now, in case I misunderstood something... if he wants to bring the dog with him when he comes to visit, that's a different thing.
In the event he stays the weekend, will the dog be inside or out? Do you have pets? Do you like dogs? Are you OK with a dog staying inside your house? There are so many questions here, but if you have actually had two dates with this guy, and he wants to "move his dog in with you" there is an ulterior motive here somewhere. That is rude, it's presumptuous, it's way to forward at this point. Way to fast.
You can bet something is amiss here, and it's probably that he has to move out of his place soon and he wants to keep his dog. Hmmm....... I dunno. Strange for sure. Don't do it.
He does want to bring the dog with him when he comes and visits. If we are out at a restaurant, the dog would be at my place. The implication is that once he goes home, the dog would come with him. He isn't implying to move his dog and him in with me, but it does feel rude.
I'm not opposed to pets, but I'm not crazy about them either. I live by myself, and the potential expenses, cleaning up after it, and shortening of life of refrigerator due to pet hair (I don't know how to properly clean the bottom of a refrigerator), and I have a hard time keeping up with myself but I do okay, are all things I think about.
He doesn't seem to initiate. It feels like I can let him initiate and just keep him as an okay friend and move on is what it is feeling like now. I have enjoyed my time with him, but this feels like too much for me and not proper.
I feel like this doesn't happen often as none of my friends have ever asked me to do this, but how do you feel about if you were just dating someone and they ask you to let them have the dog stay at your place so that they can spend more time with you?
I understand that the dog needs attention in particular more than your "typical dog", but something feels so off about this request for me. Even the guy himself felt a bit concerned about the request :/
I've dated the guy twice, and the dates went well, but they were also all in his area. We live about 1 hr driving distance from each other.
Something is very, very wrong here. You are opening Pandora's box. WARNING: WARNING:
Well, their dates have been very long, the drive is long and they plan overnight dates ...
And if he is gone all day at work and then he is gone all evening and night - I get his concern. OP doesn't seem to be a dog lover. I always encourage my dates to bring their dogs. If we work out, the dog will be part of my life then anyway.
People can like dogs but not want them in their house, for whatever reason. Not all homes are dog friendly and not all of us live in areas where you can just walk around outside for hours comfortably during this time of year.
So who keeps the dog when he works? That doesn't make sense. The dog can't be alone for 4 hours? Really? I only know one person who does that and she actually enables her dog. He gets separation anxiety and tears up the place if she leaves. She has never joined us for girls night and she never leaves her house. It's just her and her dog.
So this dog has already become a pain in the ass and it's only been 2 dates.
He works remotely 3 days a week and the dog is by itself the other two days he works during the day.
The dog could be alone about 4 hours definitely, but 2 hours are lost from the commute. Spending only two hours for such a distance is not a lot for a date, and he and I both seem to realize that. So, it would probably be okay to spend about 4 hours on our date and I had recommended this to the date. He was okay with this. We tried to set a time up, but I had to cancel the next day (still one week out) and we don't have matching schedules for at least the next 2 weeks either.
Weekdays do not work for him except maybe Fri night, but he hasn't enthusiastically mentioned Fri night as a possibility either.
This thread has been very helpful to hear different opinions and discuss.
Thank you all for your help.
He is not in a situation currently that is going to work for me romantically. He seems like he's going to be an okay friend (responds to be within a reasonable time, but never initiates. if he initiated sometimes, "okay" status would probably change).
Great ideas!
Even though he has his own place by himself, he is particularly concerned about finances beyond the second date and in about a month, he's going to the Bahamas :/ It'll be his first time on vacation out of the country- so I'm happy that he's having this experience. He doesn't seem open to different kinds of food though. Feels like his travel will be all tours and resorts. My family is all about tours, but I am open to other possibilities personally.
It might sound overly tacky to ask for money for dating someone though. So maybe asking for car to be filled or being treated if we are out to dinner would be appropriate. It feels like this really should be coming from the date himself rather than from me though.
Hmmm...who's going to take care of his dog when he goes on vacation?
I would totally say yes to this, assuming the dog could be crated or gated into a small area and the owner agreed to pay for any damages the dog may cause (due to anxiety---i've seen dogs with anxiety chew through doors). It wouldn't be good if the dog chewed up the sofa or something like that.
To me the fact that this is a new relationship is irrelevant. The fact that I really like dogs is relevant.
And I would try to plan dog friendly dates, like walking, going to the dog park, restaurants that allow dogs, etc.
I would totally say yes to this, assuming the dog could be crated or gated into a small area and the owner agreed to pay for any damages the dog may cause (due to anxiety---i've seen dogs with anxiety chew through doors). It wouldn't be good if the dog chewed up the sofa or something like that.
To me the fact that this is a new relationship is irrelevant. The fact that I really like dogs is relevant.
And I would try to plan dog friendly dates, like walking, going to the dog park, restaurants that allow dogs, etc.
I agree. It would be better if the dog was crate trained so it would stay out of trouble while we were away. Everyone could relax and stay as long as they pleased.
So, he's got a vaca planned and nobody to keep the dog, now it all makes sense. Bahamas! And you can dog sit!
If you are dating someone with a pet, yes you are going to need to meet this dog at some point and let this dog get comfortable with you, but doing this after just two dates seemed a little rushed. But leaving your dog with your new girlfriend while you go on vacation solves some problems for this guy.
This guy sounds kind of nervy/manipulative.
I think I would take a pass on him and his dog.
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