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This isn't about me although l do relate.
My brother has been single a long time he's late 40s and would really like to get married but he's just never met the right lady or when he's felt he did it wasn't mutual.
Well he finally met someone and it's been going along nicely and looking really good. Trouble is there's something physical about her that really puts him off sexually and it's bothering him more and more as time goes on. No need to mention the something but l must admit l'd have problems with it too and l do know how he feels. l met someone myself once that could've been somebody l could really go for but, she was also seriously covered in tattooing which really just put me right off. l talked about that here and of course was shot down but everyday here there are threads about attraction whether that be about the person or the physical.
My brothers situation is very similar and the problem is he just can't get past it sexually and it's just been putting him of more and more.
Trouble is they've been together 2yrs now but he's at a loss bc everything else has been so good with her.
Personally l said if it were me it would be effecting me the same and for me , l know it wouldn't be going away.
ldk , it's such a shame for him , all this time and he's finally met someone . Everyone's different of course but if there was something big , for you could it go away , pass in time, could feelings over power it. ?
As l say for me in this case nope, unfortunately they couldn't, not in the bedroom area of things so to speak.
Shame for him? More like shame on him for leading her on for two years. It seems that this off putting thing should have kept things from getting started. If his feelings about it haven't changed in two years there's certainly no reason to think it ever will. I think the decent thing would to do would be to end it now.
lt's not shame on him at all l've heard women talking similar stuff a 100 times. He's very good to her and has never mislead her in any way he hasn't known himself. He's hoped he'll get past it and really , what else can we do.
lf we think it's possible you'd go on and try wouldn't you.
lf he knew day one he'd never get past it that would be leading her on.
But yeah , l do agree that at this point now , he does owe it to her bc he has tried, he didn't just give up, but it's just gotten worse.
TBH , it's actually more on her bc she could help the situation by looking after things but she's actually let herself go since they've been together and just let it get even worse.
Why is your "brother" discussing his sex life with you in the first place; very strange. He needs to leave this lady alone so she can find the one who actually will adore her instead of a lost soul who is hung up on superficial aspects.
So, let’s just say this woman has a third eye in the middle of her forehead. The brother has been tolerating it for two years. It sounds to me like he HAS overcome his aversion to it.
Why is your "brother" discussing his sex life with you in the first place; very strange. He needs to leave this lady alone so she can find the one who actually will adore her instead of a lost soul who is hung up on superficial aspects.
Who mentioned sex life as such , and what would be strange about that anyway - strange to you maybe but not the real world even here you must wander around the forum with your eyes closed. Besides, women and plenty of them discuss that stuff all the time often into so much detail and publicly on forums that it turns your stomach, so what's so strange to you that brothers might talk about stuff, if they did.
As for the rest of your ahh, lost soul my A, you have no idea. Nor as to any superficial either and once again as l said in another post, women also come right here to this forum talking that kind of similar stuff all the time too.
So, let’s just say this woman has a third eye in the middle of her forehead. The brother has been tolerating it for two years. It sounds to me like he HAS overcome his aversion to it.
There's nothing wrong with wanting someone that you're attracted to. But many people go about it in a way that is extremely annoying and causes problems. Your brother's situation is an example of that, he's trying to push past something that is important to him in an attempt to be noble and adhere to whatever fantasy in his head about what he thinks she should do for a relationship. And it's not working. People need to stick to what they really want from jump and quit trying to settle for things because they're tired of being alone or because it seems like it's the "right thing to do." He can only "hide" this for so long before it eventually causes the demise of the relationship. Nothing but a waste of time.
This place is exhausting, why do we even bother and fantasy about whatever, yeah, no worries.
No ones 100% sure about anything for the first yr or two but oh hang on, that would be in the real world.
Last edited by randomx; 04-02-2023 at 08:26 AM..
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