Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
It never made sense to me that women would not prefer younger men. They are on average more physically attractive. Yet a lot of women still prefer to date older rather than younger.
Well…it depends on your age. IMO, we mature faster than men. When I was dating before I met my husband, I was in my late 20s. A younger “man” would have been early 20s & that’s too immature. I dated guys in their early 20s when I was also in my early 20s.
AND…it’s not all just about physical attraction. That’s only part of it. I wouldn’t have been attracted to any “man” that I had to take care of or didn’t have a career path. IMO, a lot of younger guys who are looking for an older woman want a mommy. They are unmotivated & lazy, immature or sexually experimenting.
Well…it depends on your age. IMO, we mature faster than men. When I was dating before I met my husband, I was in my late 20s. A younger “man” would have been early 20s & that’s too immature. I dated guys in their early 20s when I was also in my early 20s.
There is no conclusive, peer-reviewed research showing that women mature faster than men mentally. "Maturity" is also hard to define.
And when I say "younger" here I'm not talking about women in their late 20s dating men in their early 20s. I'm talking about women in their mid 30s and beyond dating men who are younger but in their late 20s and up. IMO it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to gripe about men in your age range being balder, heavier, less attractive, etc. and then choosing to restrict your options to men in your age range. It seems you would have more 37-38 year old women willing to entertain men as young as 29 but many do not want to do that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
AND…it’s not all just about physical attraction. That’s only part of it. I wouldn’t have been attracted to any “man” that I had to take care of or didn’t have a career path. IMO, a lot of younger guys who are looking for an older woman want a mommy. They are unmotivated & lazy, immature or sexually experimenting.
There are actually about 100,000 more single "young" men (25 to 39) making at least 100K than single "older" men (40 to 54). So in theory, a woman would have a more difficult time finding an older man with a solid career.
If dating is in part a game of odds, then it makes sense to open yourself up to as many options as possible.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
There is no conclusive, peer-reviewed research showing that women mature faster than men mentally. "Maturity" is also hard to define.
Tho I said “IMO” because I’m a woman that was never interested in dating a younger man. There are many younger “men” who are unmotivated & lazy, or they spend a lot of time playing video games. I was giving them the benefit of the doubt that it could just be immaturity they will grow out of, but I would never have dated a man that young to find out. Most of them are going to be less interested in a relationship…or less experienced in having one AND less able to take care of themselves. I don’t need research to know that or my dating preferences at different stages when I was single. It’s common sense. AND…ofc, it takes awhile to finish college, start a career & live independently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
And when I say "younger" here I'm not talking about women in their late 20s dating men in their early 20s. I'm talking about women in their mid 30s and beyond dating men who are younger but in their late 20s and up.
IMO, a woman in her mid 30s dating a man in his late 20s isn’t really dating that much younger. I don’t see it as different than a woman in her late 20s dating a man in his mid 30s. It’s basically the same age range. They are in the same stage of life. When I think of “older men” or “younger men”, I think of 10 years or more. My husband is over 10 years older than me..so I did think of it as being in a relationship with an older man when we started dating. I don’t think of it that way now tho…only when the subject comes up.
But….life experiences, career & finances are going to be in different places when you date older or younger. If they aren’t, then older or younger makes no difference. IMO, it’s not something you have to think about if you are only talking several years & you’re both adults.
Tho I said “IMO” because I’m a woman that was never interested in dating a younger man. There are many younger “men” who are unmotivated & lazy, or they spend a lot of time playing video games.
I'm not sure if there is a higher percentage of younger men who are unmotivated and lazy. Motivated and industrious young men end up becoming motivated and industrious older men while unmotivated and lazy young men generally end up becoming unmotivated and lazy older men. I don't think some switch gets flipped where a 25-year old content living in mom's basement and eating pizza all of a sudden develops a drive to become a titan of industry.
Also, why is it that people cite men playing video games as a sign of immaturity yet say nothing about women who spend a gigantic portion of their day on Instagram and Tik Tok? They are both forms of unproductive escapism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
IMO, a woman in her mid 30s dating a man in his late 20s isn’t really dating that much younger. I don’t see it as different than a woman in her late 20s dating a man in his mid 30s. It’s basically the same age range. When I think of “older men” or “younger men”, I think of 10 years or more. My husband is over 10 years older than me..so I did think of it as being in a relationship with an older man when we started dating. I don’t think of it that way now tho…only when the subject comes up.
I used that example because research has consistently shown that most women prefer men their age and older regardless of their age.
Here's an article from the Economist illustrating the point I was making. The actual article is behind a paywall but we have access to a pretty cool infographic.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
I'm not sure if there is a higher percentage of younger men who are unmotivated and lazy.
Tho I said unmotivated & lazy OR just immature, or haven’t finished college or started a career yet. Immaturity is a thing. It’s not like it’s a secret they may be looking just for a sexual relationship too. They aren’t ready for a committed relationship. I don’t blame them. I wasn’t when I was in my early 20s. I got my first job as a staff RN at 22. I dated men my age or men I met through work or online. A lot of them were doctors. I’m giving my opinion like the O.P. It’s a relationships forum. I don’t care what the percentage is. I wasn’t interested in dating younger guys when I was in my late 20s before I met my husband. They seemed immature to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
Motivated and industrious young men end up becoming motivated and industrious older men while unmotivated and lazy young men generally end up becoming unmotivated and lazy older men.
So let them grow up & figure it out. Why push a relationship on them? It’s the same for women in their early 20s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
Also, why is it that people cite men playing video games as a sign of immaturity yet say nothing about women who spend a gigantic portion of their day on Instagram and Tik Tok?
Well…I don’t care if a 21 or 22 is still in college or plays video games but I didn’t have to be interested in dating them. They can be immature because they are only 21. All of us had growing up to do when we were that age. That’s why I said I never dated younger men when I was late 20s before I met my husband.
BUT, it depends how they are using Instagram, Tik Tok & You Tube. Some ppl make money as an influencer or model. It doesn’t mean they don’t have a life for themselves & aren’t ready for a serious relationship. AND, it doesn’t mean they are immature. BUT…if they are spending a large portion of their day on social media but aren’t earning money & don’t have a life outside of it, ITA…it’s no different than video games. It’s more excusable when ppl are younger tho.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee
They are both forms of unproductive escapism.
If somebody is escaping…they aren’t healthy enough for a relationship anyway. It doesn’t matter what their age is. I don’t think most ppl in their early 20s are escaping tho….especially on social media. You have to have a life in order to post about it.^^ BUT…ITA, you have to have a life outside of it to be healthy.
It’s weird to me when ppl zoom in on just age preference. What do you think the advantage of dating a 70 yo woman is when you are in your 50s? Why did you begin seeing just older women? IMO age gaps make more sense in the middle of adulthood & when it’s by chance, but way less sense if one person is super young or old AND they were specifically looking for younger or older like the O.P.
edit: Because it really shouldn’t be about age IMO but compatibility of personality, character, lifestyle, chemistry, humor, sex, honesty, respect & admiration. Ofc, if one of them is super young or old, it would be harder to find some of those things.
Maybe I was just a little biased, but it seemed to me that younger women (or those closer to my age range) played too many games (one in particular outright lied to me by telling me she "had no room for a man in her life" - lo and behold, I find out from a friend of hers that she was already seeing someone while we were so-called getting to know each other!
Older women are through with games, lies, drama. They're rather settled, to a degree.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,583,293 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
Maybe I was just a little biased, but it seemed to me that younger women (or those closer to my age range) played too many games (one in particular outright lied to me by telling me she "had no room for a man in her life" - lo and behold, I find out from a friend of hers that she was already seeing someone while we were so-called getting to know each other!
Older women are through with games, lies, drama. They're rather settled, to a degree.
I think it’s super silly to basically say all women that are younger than you are liars & all women older than you aren’t. It’s about compatibility & maturity. It sounds like she wasn’t into you.
I wasn’t interested in dating younger guys when I was in my late 20s before I met my husband. They seemed immature to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We are talking about different things. Here, you are talking about not being interested in dating younger guys when you were in your late 20s. The OP is about to turn 36. Therefore, I was talking about women in their mid 30s and up dating younger men, not women in their late 20s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
BUT, it depends how they are using Instagram, Tik Tok & You Tube. Some ppl make money as an influencer or model. It doesn’t mean they don’t have a life for themselves & aren’t ready for a serious relationship. AND, it doesn’t mean they are immature. BUT…if they are spending a large portion of their day on social media but aren’t earning money & don’t have a life outside of it, ITA…it’s no different than video games. It’s more excusable when ppl are younger tho.
I agree with this. I was only pointing out that playing video games doesn't make someone any more mindless or immature than someone spending multiple hours per day staring at social media. So I think people should stop bringing up "video games" as evidence of male immaturity. There are plenty of high-functioning men (and women for that matter) who play games for whatever reason. This is a stereotype that needs to die.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
If somebody is escaping…they aren’t healthy enough for a relationship anyway. It doesn’t matter what their age is. I don’t think most ppl in their early 20s are escaping tho….especially on social media. You have to have a life in order to post about it.^^ BUT…ITA, you have to have a life outside of it to be healthy.
Can't agree with this. "Escaping" and "escapism" are two totally different things. Everyone engages in escapism every now and again whether it's watching a Netflix series, reading a novel, playing a video game, scrolling on Instagram or posting on City-Data.
Maybe I was just a little biased, but it seemed to me that younger women (or those closer to my age range) played too many games (one in particular outright lied to me by telling me she "had no room for a man in her life" - lo and behold, I find out from a friend of hers that she was already seeing someone while we were so-called getting to know each other!
Older women are through with games, lies, drama. They're rather settled, to a degree.
What if she said that because she was afraid of offending you? I always tell that I have a boyfriend to the guy when he's trying to get to know me. But I don't have a boyfriend. He's just not my type, and I don't want him to get diffidences because of my rejection. Am I a liar?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
BUT…ITA, you have to have a life outside of it to be healthy.
