Could a Relationship Between a Man w/ Mommy Issues and a Woman w/ Daddy Issues Work out?

[Ceira]

Originally Posted by cosmic_girl

I told him I don't really do online dating and I need at least one month before we meet, but he told me he will break that rule of mine. I told him he should respect my pace. But since we met all we do is talk the whole day. If I don't give in to what he wants, he goes silent on me.



I am asking myself the same question



I know I'm not using logic



First time we talked, I found him such an assh0le. He said a lot of things that really angered me when he called me drunk, but when I woke up the next day he was very apologetic and gave me so much attention and no more trace of the assh0le personality.



I'm also asking myself why for the second time I am attracted to a guy with so much red flags. He's the second guy that I liked and "met" through a dating app. First time was in 2022 and I was there for a week. The guy had a gambling addiction and cut him off. Now this guy in 2024, who I suspect subconsciously is a woman hater

Re slapping a woman. I asked him if he has ever hit a woman before. He said once and never did it again. I asked how did he hurt her and he won't tell me no matter how I pressed him so I said, did you slap her? And he just said yes. So it's also possible that it wasn't a slap.

Yes, I sensed he has a temper that's why I asked him if he has ever hit a woman. Hitting a woman is definitely a deal breaker for me but I don't know why I couldn't cut him off. He said he was young back and the ex that came after that did worse to him (cheated) He said he never hit her because he is older and can control his emotions.

re his kink I was shocked when he said he wants to do a swirlie on me. I was shocked and said is that even a kink, that's just disgusting and disrespectful.

I had to look it up:

A form of torture/punishment in which the victim is held upside down over a toilet, with his head in the toilet bowl, while it is flushed.

Please OP, have some respect for yourself and BLOCK this person. Today!

[cosmic_girl]

Originally Posted by Threestep2

How old are you?

43 (He and I are about the same age)

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I know this is the Romantic Relationships forum, but in what universe is putting up with this guy's negging and red flags better than being alone?

I wasn't really "alone" when I met him. I reconnected in Dec with a guy I dated before, but stopped talking to him because this guy made me feel guilty that I had "simps" and reserves. He thinks it's slutty for a girl to be talking to more than one guy.

I guess there is a "disconnect" (?) or my brain is confused because when you look at him and hear him talk, you would never ever imagine that he has a temper, degradation kink or ever hit a woman.

Originally Posted by Mikala43

I meant both of you. The fact you are still interacting with the guy is a huge red flag on you. Honestly, you may be scammed with this guy. He's already figured out he can say anything to you and you'll take it.

yes, something is definitely wrong with me I don't think he is a scammer though (for money?) We have common friends and his family has money. I think another red flag is he doesn't really work? He studied in a prestigious school in our country but he dropped out. He gets funding from his Dad and his day consists of working out/playing tennis, video games, monitoring stocks, going out and talking/chatting with me.

Originally Posted by E-Twist

What would you tell a friend or a sister to do if she was in your situation with this guy? If your answer is he sounds wonderful, go for it - then go for it. Give him everything he wants. If your answer is this man is not acting respectfully, cease contact - then do that.

I will tell my friend or sister to run for the hills.

Originally Posted by Ceira

I had to look it up:

A form of torture/punishment in which the victim is held upside down over a toilet, with his head in the toilet bowl, while it is flushed.

Please OP, have some respect for yourself and BLOCK this person. Today!

It was so disgusting He also likes choking and told him I don't like that because I don't wanna risk dying (he's a tall lean guy) He never mentioned it again though.

Lately, he has been acting so calm and balanced and telling me that I am so obsessed with him and acting crazy?

I really appreciate everyone's concern. I know now that I should never consider a relationship with him.

[E-Twist]

It sounds like you need therapy. You certainly need more help than you can get from CD.

This thread is just going in circles. I think the mods should consider closing it.