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Particularly true if the individual has a long line of bad relationships and that has become their norm. At least that was in my case while being on the other side in another similar situation. I wasn't "trying more" out of being careful knowing she had a long line of bad (and one abusive) relationships. She ended up sabotaging the relationship that I thought was going very well. "Drama' and "conflict" were her norm and the relationship didn't feel right to her without them.
Well, i don't have a history of abusive relationships with drama and conflict, but I do have a long history of going out with men who have made it clear what they were interested in early on in the dating process. That's why this lack of any sort of clues has been confusing for me.
I mean, if you could see him duck behind the car to avoid having to hug me good night...it would be comic if it weren't so sad, really.
I'm quiet and shy by nature, so I'm the wrong person to bring this up with him. Unfortunately it's me or no one, so I'm going to have to give it my best shot. He wants to go to the movies again, so maybe i can ask him about the hand holding thing.
Maybe you should as if he wants to remain just friends or if he wants to be lovers. As you said you haven't been interested in sex since menopause give some thought to that. Maybe that prevents you from feeling romantic towards anyone. I think they have a pill for that these days. You need to decide if you would like to feel interested again. You haven't given his age, but maybe he has ED. Figure out how much you like his company and if it's worth broaching a discussion.
I need to talk to an OBGYN about Hormone Replacement Therapy. Unfortunately there are few available experts in the field. THe last one I brought it up with blew me off.
I'm not UN-interested in sex, my body just doesn't respond. There are lots of levels of intimacy and yes, I would love to have an intimate relationship again...with my best friend.
Well, i don't have a history of abusive relationships with drama and conflict, but I do have a long history of going out with men who have made it clear what they were interested in early on in the dating process. That's why this lack of any sort of clues has been confusing for me.
I mean, if you could see him duck behind the car to avoid having to hug me good night...it would be comic if it weren't so sad, really.
I'm quiet and shy by nature, so I'm the wrong person to bring this up with him. Unfortunately it's me or no one, so I'm going to have to give it my best shot. He wants to go to the movies again, so maybe i can ask him about the hand holding thing.
Just take his hand. Walk out with him holding his hand or just touching him while you are talking.
I need to talk to an OBGYN about Hormone Replacement Therapy. Unfortunately there are few available experts in the field. THe last one I brought it up with blew me off.
I'm not UN-interested in sex, my body just doesn't respond. There are lots of levels of intimacy and yes, I would love to have an intimate relationship again...with my best friend.
You do not generally sound like someone who gets blown off easily. It took me x number of OBs, an article in a German magazine about non hormon treatment and a PA turning bully with insurance. Look at other options.
It is possible that he has developed an issue as a side effect of his hobby.
"There is a significant relationship between cycling-induced perineal compression leading to vascular, endothelial, and neurogenic dysfunction in men and the development of ED (OR 1.72). Research on female bicyclists is very limited but indicates the same impairment as in male bicyclists."
He wants to go to the movies again, so maybe i can ask him about the hand holding thing.
But.... why????
You stated you don't find him physically attractive at all. How do you expect your body to respond sexually to a man you're turned off by --- You're not following the science.
She still posed a valid question that you ignored. You do seem to want him to want you but you aren't attracted to him, makes no sense to me.
I want to discover that I can fall in love with someone I really like regardless of the fact that he's not terribly good looking and isn't the ideal man for me. I want to give this nice guy a chance to finish first.
Sounds to me like you're the one with a problem. You want something but at the same time you don't. You're willing to make a move with someone knowing that you probably won't go far with it.
If you held this guys hand you will probably hurt his feelings once he gets rejected by you. You want to know your still being found attractive but on your terms and without any regard for the other person.
Do this guy a favor and let him know you see him as a friend only. If he wants to continue going out with you then at least he knows your intent. If not then you're playing with his heart and that's plain evil.
Be honest, then work on your own insecurity issues... because you have plenty of them.
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