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Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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I actually have a friend who did have an arranged marriage – and she is Indian. This was many years ago, and I was curious and asked her about it. She said that the families used astrological charts to determine the best partner. They are Hindus, and she is a physician and so is her husband.
At any rate, I asked what it was like. She was so cute. She said that she had not met him before the wedding, and when the wedding took place, she looked and him and thought, "Ooooooh, he is so handsome!" and her big brown eyes opened very, very wide as she said that! She was not a beautiful woman – just average.
But they have been together for over 30 years now, and had two children. They had a personal astrologer who even predicted the dates of birth of their children, and the gender of the children – pretty amazing stuff!
So, for them, it worked. Considering some of my awful relationships, I think I would have done better had someone objectively chosen a mate for me!!
Oh yeah, everyone likes him. He has an easy smile and a quick laugh. People are probably always wondering what the hell he is doing with the likes of me.
I actually did something in the middle when I got married. After many years of dating/long term relationships, dating jerks, I got tired of it. So I went a more traditional route.
I met my husband on the internet (on a site similar to match.com), we met 3 times, spoke on the phone daily for a few months and then got married a few months later. Almost 3 years later we are very happily married.
I think choosing someone objectively, someone who matches your views in life, (maybe religious views, morals, career, children etc) is the most important thing in a successful relationship.
I wouldn't recommend someone just getting married w/o talking to him/her. While it does work for some ppl, I think there's *too* much compromise and adjusting in the relationship.
But if two ppl talk and agree on major things or come to an understanding about it then why not?
What do you think? Would you hypothetically consider it?
Not even in my wildest dreams.
I'm Joe-the-Boss-of-my-Own-Body - I don't want or need anyone else deciding who is right for me. The way I see it - I'm only going through life once - might as well be accountable for my OWN laughter and tears.
I've got a lot of thoughts on this but not enough time to write them out right now. I'll get back to it but wanted to say I'm surprised to see this thread started by a woman.
I wonder if the writers of this romanticized, whitewashed article bothered to take stock of how tight the overlap is between societies that value arranged marriages and societies that are overtly misogynistic. Arranged marriages may be more successful in terms of longevity and low divorce rate, but did the article even consider examining whether that's because, given the value systems that favor arranged marriages, the marriage tends to be an open license for the man and a prison for the woman? How many of them would get the hell out if they were allowed to have a mind of their own? Is a prison any less a prison if the woman manages to find the prison guard attractive and endearing? Is that love, or is it just resignation and survival?
I wonder if the writers of this romanticized, whitewashed article bothered to take stock of how tight the overlap is between societies that value arranged marriages and societies that are overtly misogynistic. Arranged marriages may be more successful in terms of longevity and low divorce rate, but did the article even consider examining whether that's because, given the value systems that favor arranged marriages, the marriage tends to be an open license for the man and a prison for the woman? How many of them would get the hell out if they were allowed to have a mind of their own? Is a prison any less a prison if the woman manages to find the prison guard attractive and endearing? Is that love, or is it just resignation and survival?
These are all good questions. I've always thought the divorce rate in the US is so much higher than in other countries not exactly because we're more messed-up, but simply because more women can make it on their own; therefore, they're not willing to put up with many issues women in other countries do.
i think it's true that arranged marriages work better because of the reasons the OP stated.
take this as an example:
you buy a house but all along thinking its only a starter and you will find a bigger/better one in the future. all the time you live there all you see are the faults and keep thinking "i cant wait to find something better". or when you do find a better place to live, all of a sudden the last week seems like a lifetime and everything about your current dwelling/neighbors gets on your last nerve.
unfortunately people now marry knowing there is a way out.
when the marriage is arranged by familes, there may still be a way out, but good luck trying to find one. you have 2 entire families to get through and convince.
the 2 marry without the idea of "if it doesnt work out, we can always get a divorce", and so they commit knowing it's lifelong, and they seem more patient and willing to work together and try to find happiness in every aspect.
that being said, i dont actually know anyone whose marriage was arranged, so i can be totally wrong.
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She was not a beautiful woman – just average. 
