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To be honest, I doubt this your relationship will last beyond the next few weeks. He may have said that he'll try and work things out, but I can GUARANTEE you he won't forget what you said. I agree with the other posters that said "If you're mature enough to be having sex, you're mature enough to discuss it like an adult". Spouting off because you're upset is counterproductive, immature and hurtful.
Out of curiosity, (seriously, I'm not just trying to nitpick) were either of your parents (or other significant adult) prone to similar behavior? Would they purposely say things either to you or the other parent just to inflict emotional pain? The reason I ask is because my most recent ex-gf was similar in behavior and said some very hurtful things when she was frustrated, and her mother was verbally abusive to her (not an excuse, just a trend).
PMSing or whatever you want to call it is ZERO excuse for that behavior. It is a cop-out, plain and simple. If you are able to control your behavior and restrain yourself from outbursts at work, you can control yourself at home.
Now, to address your original issue, with your sex session not lasting as long as you wanted, let me give you a little perspective. As a guy, there is no lower blow than to insult us in the bedroom. For the most part, our goal is to satisfy YOU in the bedroom, not just to 'get our rocks off', and when things end a little early (as they do for most guys at one point or another) it's just as frustrating for us as it is for you.
A couple of tips if it's ending earlier than you want (mods, please cut if too graphic):
* Have him 'take care of business' by himself before your session.
* Try different positions. Some can be very stimulating and can lead to a quick ending (missionary). Others are less stimulating for the guy, but just as fun (cowgirl, playing the cello, the stopperage).
* Have him participate in more foreplay with you beforehand. Have him go down on you, at the very least it'll get you closer to climax, but if he does it right, it can actually be more effective for getting you to climax.
And as a note on your last post, if you're truly serious about your abuse of a significant other becoming physical, you SERIOUSLY need help. If I were in the position of your significant other, and you were to become physically abusive, you would be in jail before you could blink.
Gee good thing I’m not dating any of you because my mental and verbal abuse would most certainly become physical. And yep I meant that.
Good thing that your son is growing up with a wonderfully stable, loving parent. Heavens knows the world doesn't need any more abusive men running around.
Oh wait...
This is more than just about you. You're not that young. Really. 24 isn't old but it's old enough to know that you are wrong. I'm 20 and am amazed that you are older than me- this is not typical 20 something behavior. You are not only a negative, toxic influence on your boyfriend, but even worse- your son as well.
To be honest, I doubt this your relationship will last beyond the next few weeks. He may have said that he'll try and work things out, but I can GUARANTEE you he won't forget what you said. I agree with the other posters that said "If you're mature enough to be having sex, you're mature enough to discuss it like an adult". Spouting off because you're upset is counterproductive, immature and hurtful.
It'll be three years in December and since is the first time we've ever had a serious fight, I doubt your correct on your assumption
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
Good thing that your son is growing up with a wonderfully stable, loving parent. Heavens knows the world doesn't need any more abusive men running around.
Oh wait...
This is more than just about you. You're not that young. Really. 24 isn't old but it's old enough to know that you are wrong. I'm 20 and am amazed that you are older than me- this is not typical 20 something behavior. You are not only a negative, toxic influence on your boyfriend, but even worse- your son as well.
Please, get help.
Please, get a life. I really thought I was over dramatic but I would hate to see some of you people on a day-to-day basis. I had one fight with my boyfriend of 3 years and suddenly I'm going to raise an abusive child? And on that note this will be the last time I come on this thread. I didn't mind the things people said about me but I don't like when people say things about my child. You don't know me or what type of parent I am and your little judgmental comments are not appreciated. So I'll leave you here to go ahead and sling hatred toard somebody else. My son will be just fine.
Heres my two cent – and if it make you feel better I’m a licensed counselor but quit after I realized listening to people’s problems was not my MO
Yes, you were wrong. Very wrong. I sense at several moments you knew you were wrong but couldn’t/wouldn’t stop. The reason is because it felt good to finally release all the things you’d been holding in and you were transferring your bad feeling into him. It was a temporary high though and coming off of it is worse then however you felt before. This is wrong – you need to find a way to relieve stress; work out, take a shower, wash dishes (but don’t break anything) otherwise this will happen again. on another thread you mentioned that you and your boyfriend had just recently moved in together because he didn’t want to renew the lease on his apartment. It takes a while to get used to living with someone. Go slow; learn his patterns; maybe he’s less receptive in the afternoon when you both are just getting home. Try to take time each day just to talk, a walk with your son is a great time to do this as being outside in the fresh air and being around a child will probably keep the conversation honest but respectful.
As far as your son, I think that other poster was flat out wrong for what they said but please be aware that children mimic what they see. Look at your behavior and see if it’s approporaite for your son to do; if not clean it up. Don’t be a do as I say, not as I do parent – it’s not effective. I’m assuming since you were in your bed room and it was late, your son was not around but nothing is worse for a kid to hear than their parents fighting.
You’re going to lose your temper again -people lose their tempers; when we were moving I got so frustrated with my partner I told her to just move without me. I didn’t mean it at all; I was just tired of arguing with her about what to take and what to give away. Just like when she can’t find something to wear and asks me for help and I say anything and she says “I’ll just go naked then” I know she doesn’t mean that – she’s just frustrated. But you need to learn the difference between being frustrated and being cruel. You were frustrated but you were cruel toward him.
Two things will work for you in the future – 1) say whatever’s bothering you right then and there. Don’t think about it. Don’t wonder what he will say when you say it. Tell him right then and there. “I had a bad day at work; will you listen” 2) Act before you react – if you’re in the middle of an argument and you can’t think straight and you find yourself wanting to lash out tell him you need a time-out. Go somewhere and calm down until you’re ready to talk.
Communication is key to any relationship and from what you’ve described here it sounds like you talk all the time but you don’t communicate. My partner is very emotional; can go from smiling to crying in 60 seconds. When we first got together I thought she was nuts; but we’ve found ways to handle almost any situation because we talk about them
I will say this; remember how you felt when he left and think about that again if you ever find yourself in this place. Your boyfriend may have forgiven you but forgetting is different and when you fight again – and you will – he will remember this moment and be waiting for you to slip up. Don’t do that.
As for the comments on this board – take them with a grain of salt. You are young; but you’re getting older. The things you did last year – you can’t do next year. Growing up is a process and only you can determine how long it takes you to complete it. I believe you when you say this is the first time this has happened because if it was a frequent occurrence you wouldn’t have bothered to share it because you wouldn’t care. You would just repeat it.
Good luck and treat your man well because it sounds like you’ve got a good one.
I think the reason why you're getting such "negative" responses is because of what you said above.
LOL I can't blame her. Some people on here are so quick to throw stones, the one about her son was just nasty the poster had no reason to say that. I feel if you aren't going to say anything helpful then dont say anything. There is a such a thing as constructive criticism. But your son will abuse women one day because of you is not helpful. The person who wrote that was being mean and hateful. The op has done nothing to deserve that from that poster. I think some people here just go overboard; especially since you dont know the state of mind some people are in. she could have been really upset and she comes here for some feedback and hears
You're nuts and your boyfriend will leave you
Ig I were your man, I'd run away from you
You're a crazy woman and your son will abuse women
who is taht helping.
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