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Ok news for *some* guys. Just because a girl is being friendly and understanding *does* not mean that she wants anything out of you..........
Ok so about a year ago I had this guy I met at a friends party, we started talking. He was going through a divorse, we talked for about a month and a half. Just friends... I went on and tried to keep his spirits up. He really WAS a great guy.... I was just being honest with him. I told him he was nice and he will find someone again soon... Well I guess he thought I was talking about HIM and me hooking up??? Well I just found out from one of my friends, that he told everyone that I wanted him???? *Last year* She is just now telling me this.....WHY???? all I said was that he was a great guy! PLUS this happened a year ago??
I was wondering how everything was going good. Then all the sudden he stopped answering my phone calls, and would not call me back??
Sorry friends just venting! I mean I never told him I was interested in him or anything like that.. I seem to have this problem with guys. They take me the wrong way? Cant a girl JUST be nice now days????
Well, some men are idiots. What do you want us to say?
Now, that being said, you mention that this is an ongoing problem with guys in your life. I'm certainly not blaming the victim here, but is there some vibe that you put off? Do you touch them a lot? In conversation that you intend to be strictly platonic, does your body language say other things unintentionally?
Before the Indignation Brigade swoops in, I had pretty good radar in my single days. Yet I remember one woman who always was putting out contradictory signals. She'd touch guys a lot and work a lot of double entendre into the conversations, but then would be shocked if a guy approached her for a date. Heck, some of my friends who were women noticed as much. During a party once, I remember talking to this girl and thinking, "Wow, she's really into me." So, going back to get another beer, my very wise female friend cornered me by the fridge and said, "Don't go there. She's like that with all the guys." Sure enough, she was standing talking with another guy across the room, eyes locked, reaching out and touching him, etc. etc.
I wouldn't even say that she was a tease or anything like that. I think she was a nice person who never realized what kinds of signals she was sending out.
women are friendly for a 1000 reasons other than hookup. problem is if a guy has nothin but hookup on his mind that is all he hears or sees. like a dog round dinner time. approaching hungry dogs must be a pain for women. the only thing i see more vexing to a woman is a dog that does not seem to get hungry much.
women are friendly for a 1000 reasons other than hookup. problem is if a guy has nothin but hookup on his mind that is all he hears or sees. like a dog round dinner time. approaching hungry dogs must be a pain for women. the only thing i see more vexing to a woman is a dog that does not seem to get hungry much.
I mean I shook his hand when I would leave... OH I gave him a CD one time. I guess that was what made him think that... I did not put my hands all over him tho..
I mean I shook his hand when I would leave... OH I gave him a CD one time. I guess that was what made him think that... I did not put my hands all over him tho..
Nevertheless, if this is a recurring problem, it's worth examining.
I had an employee who was married, and always had a problem with men hitting on her. I mean it was constant. Now, she was attractive, but not a total bombshell.
The problem was that Ronda never realized what kind of body language she was putting out. Whenever she talked with a guy, myself included, she would stand toe-to-toe with him and lock eyes for long periods of time, and would seemingly hang on every word he said. Plus she'd reach out and touch guys on the arm for emphasis.
She finally had had it with one client who asked her to dinner. We were all in the break room, and she came in ticked off. Another woman, the office wag, said "Well, Ronda, if you don't want them to ask you out, don't flirt with them." Let me tell you what, I'm glad she said it and not me, although that's what everybody in the office was thinking.
Ok news for *some* guys. Just because a girl is being friendly and understanding *does* not mean that she wants anything out of you..........
Ok so about a year ago I had this guy I met at a friends party, we started talking. He was going through a divorse, we talked for about a month and a half. Just friends... I went on and tried to keep his spirits up. He really WAS a great guy.... I was just being honest with him. I told him he was nice and he will find someone again soon... Well I guess he thought I was talking about HIM and me hooking up??? Well I just found out from one of my friends, that he told everyone that I wanted him???? *Last year* She is just now telling me this.....WHY???? all I said was that he was a great guy! PLUS this happened a year ago??
I was wondering how everything was going good. Then all the sudden he stopped answering my phone calls, and would not call me back??
Sorry friends just venting! I mean I never told him I was interested in him or anything like that.. I seem to have this problem with guys. They take me the wrong way? Cant a girl JUST be nice now days????
I sympathize with you on this case, you sound real cool and he acted like an a$$hole (he sounds real young btw). The result of all this is a society where (especially) good looking women become ice queens, not daring to talk to most men for fear the men will become 'interested.'
I actually think I'm a male version of you, I realize much later when push comes to shove, they were really only interested in me as a boyfriend. Kinda makes ya take people with a grain of salt...
Ok so when I meet a new *friend guy* Should I tell him from the get go that Im not interested... I dont know how to fix this problem if it is me because I never have anyone tell me that i am flirting too much. If anything my friends would tell me that guy was flirting with me.
Ok so when I meet a new *friend guy* Should I tell him from the get go that Im not interested... I dont know how to fix this problem if it is me because I never have anyone tell me that i am flirting too much. If anything my friends would tell me that guy was flirting with me.
Well, are you drop-dead gorgeous? Are your pupils in a constant state of dilation?
To be sure, casually drop into conversation that you're not into dating at the moment, then leave it be.
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