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I'm 28 (soon to be 29) and haven't had intercourse in two years. Prior to my ex, it was about five years. Throughout most of my adolescence and 20s, I was never a sexually active guy (having sex almost daily, etc.) due to different circumstances: LDRs, dating woes, etc.
At this point, I haven't the slightest idea when I'll be sexually active again. It could be tomorrow, or another few years. What bothers me is the expectation for the man to always be the performer. If you don't hit a home run the on the first outing, it could very well mean a return to going several more years without sex, and of course, potentially repeating the last experience.
I enjoy sex, but I am not delusional about my lack of it (which, for the most part, I am perfectly okay with) and the expectation that I perform. I'm not sure how any guy in my position could be with anyone who's willing to overlook his inactivity in exchange for improving at his skill. This is one of a million reasons why I don't bother dating, pursuing women, etc., because it's far easier for me to live a drama-free life without all the unnecessary stuff that goes on between men and women. I can live without all of the nonsense.
I think there needs to be a balance in the bedroom between men and women. Contrary to what anyone might say, men are still held liable for almost every thing with regard to dating and mating. I'd say that society is well overdue for a change.
I hope I don't get blasted for this, but have you considered dating more mature women? I say this because women who don't have much in the way of sexual experience have often derived their expectations from the media and those expectations can be pretty high. But a woman who's lived knows that men aren't machines, that even the most sexually expert among them can have a bad day and that it's nobody's fault. You brush it off and try again tomorrow.
You might also want to consider talking to your doctor about Viagra, or something similar. I'm not suggesting that you'd need it everytime, but it could get you past that first-time anxiety.
In any case, the important thing to most women is knowing that you're interested in their pleasure, that you'll do whatever you can to achieve it, and that you not blame us when things don't go as well as you'd like.
RON! Practice makes perfect. Put down the lube and get out there for practice. All ya have to do is know the "buttons", and listen. It's like crack'n a safe, once you know the sequence....your in.
If a woman dumps you cause of experience then count your lucky stars as she is just a gutter _____. You remember what the practice field looked like in football in HS and College, right......well that is what she would be.
Loose'n up and relax, be yourself and go get some for the love of God!
He should try finding dates at the local nursing home or hospice...right
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneee
I hope I don't get blasted for this, but have you considered dating more mature (read "older") women? I say this because women who don't have much in the way of sexual experience have often derived their expectations from the media and those expectations can be pretty high. But a woman who's lived knows that men aren't machines, that even the most sexually expert among them can have a bad day and that it's nobody's fault. You brush it off and try again tomorrow.
You might also want to consider talking to your doctor about Viagra, or something similar. I'm not suggesting that you'd need it everytime, but it could get you past that first-time anxiety.
In any case, the important thing to most women is knowing that you're interested in their pleasure, that you'll do whatever you can to achieve it, and that you not blame us when things don't go as well as you'd like.
I was once told by a former SO/lover ... "can't have fireworks every time."
This is true. If you're with a partner who understand that no human has super powers, and no human can pull off a perfect game every time (herself included!), then there shouldn't be any expectations. As everyone else has said, it won't be perfect every time. Practice helps, and a willing, understanding partner is priceless. A FWB is a good way to get practice without the drama if practice is worth pursuing. Each guy has to find his own technique, but once you figure it out, the knowledge is universal.
The drama queens are those that need to get their own egos in check. They aren't real people, and every aspect of their lives is superficial. Expecting perfection in bed is just the icing on the cake of their problems.
Ooh, I like what you said here! If more men were like you..this world would be orgasmic.
[quote=Capt. Cave Man;4883437]RON! Practice makes perfect. Put down the lube and get out there for practice. All ya have to do is know the "buttons", and listen. It's like crack'n a safe, once you know the sequence....your in.
You shouldn`t worry so much about it unless it actually happens.
If you sit and think about it, then naturally when the time comes, you may have problems, just from stress on yourself, thats not necessary.
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