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Old 08-21-2008, 08:20 AM
 
146 posts, read 641,747 times
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When I was dating I never pursued a women who did not show as much interest in me as I did her. One of my criteria for a relationship was being liked. This is not the case with many of my friends. If they dated someone and the person was really friendly and exited about them, that was a turnoff. They wanted a woman who played hard to get. They wanted to win someone over with repeated phone calls, flowers, flirting and aggressive courting. I knew one man who asked his now wife out a dozen times before she said yes.

Are you more or less interested in a man or a woman who plays hard to get? Would you beg for a date?
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Old 08-21-2008, 08:30 AM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,171,925 times
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When I was dating? Absolutely not. Because it really boils down to one of two things.

1) If she just doesn't want to go out with you, then the best tactic is to be unconcerned and enjoy the single life with somebody else. Then she'll actually respect you more.

2) She's playing games like hard-to-get. Nope. If she's that manipulative before your relationship gets underway, why would you want to cope with that once it does?
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Old 08-21-2008, 08:32 AM
 
355 posts, read 1,376,858 times
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Eh, well I dont intentionally play hard to get. But if someone is interested in me enough to keep pursuing me even if I dont show interest in them, I say what the heck and give it a shot. Perhaps they think Im playing hard to get and dont realize that Im not interested?? lol sounds bad but if someone is persistant I will date them. And persistance doesnt always have to include flowers. But there was one guy that would leave me voice mails in the middle of the night saying he was hoping i was sleeping well, etc. that was sweet and won me over!!!

I dont like it when guys play hard to get though, simply because if I'm persistant I come across as desperate and a stalker. I just think its different for a girl to pursue a guy than the other way around. Plus, a number of my guy friends have told me its a turn off for a girl to make the first move or become persistant because they say it makes her seem easy, desperate, and like she doesnt have many options....which makes her less desirable. While dating is already established, then yes i will schedule a date.

Im against "begging" for a date because in the end all it is is a pity date...and no one wants that.
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Old 08-21-2008, 08:33 AM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 13,166,502 times
Reputation: 1850
Honestly, there was a time, back in my prime ( okay sorry, toby keith song stuck in head) anyway - back in HS I felt that way.....I found it to be a total turn off when guys would pursue me and now, looking back, I think it was only because of my fears of being in a relationship and really not wanting to be commited at the time. It was so much easier for me to have secret crushes on guys and not tell anyone because then I wouldn't have to worry about dating....I think it's either an insecurity or a fear thing. As I matured however, wether i'm there yet or not is debatable , and when I was actually ready to be in a relationship I didn't feel that way anymore and ultimatly ended up marrying a man who pursued me with everything he had . My advice to anyone faced with this issue......if your wanting to date and be commited....don't waste your time chasing after anyone...find somone who actually wants to be in a relationship.
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,178,761 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lola8822 View Post
if your wanting to date and be commited....don't waste your time chasing after anyone...find somone who actually wants to be in a relationship.
Smart girl! Chances are it's somebody you're better off not catching anyway.
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:13 AM
 
Location: West Texas
2,449 posts, read 5,951,292 times
Reputation: 3125
Nope. I've always looked at it that life was too short. If I asked a woman out and she said "no" than that's what it meant. If she meant "yes" she should have said so.

Showed one of two things to me: First, she really meant "no" and had no interest; or, that she meant "yes" to have me really show her how bad I wanted to date... and I don't play those games.

In either case... dating was never an overall successful venture for me. I'm not good looking or rich!
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,178,761 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos View Post
Nope. I've always looked at it that life was too short. If I asked a woman out and she said "no" than that's what it meant. If she meant "yes" she should have said so.

Showed one of two things to me: First, she really meant "no" and had no interest; or, that she meant "yes" to have me really show her how bad I wanted to date... and I don't play those games.

In either case... dating was never an overall successful venture for me. I'm not good looking or rich!
It's not all that cut and dry... Many times "no" means "maybe" and "maybe" means "yes"!
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Gila County Arizona
990 posts, read 2,558,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
It's not all that cut and dry... Many times "no" means "maybe" and "maybe" means "yes"!

I understand where you are coming from sierra, but like Rathagos said, "life is too short" . Why bother to decode the message, when I could go to the next and get a "clear signal".
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,178,761 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by banger View Post
I understand where you are coming from sierra, but like Rathagos said, "life is too short" . Why bother to decode the message, when I could go to the next and get a "clear signal".
'Cause the mixed signal may be worth more than the clear signal...?
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Gila County Arizona
990 posts, read 2,558,270 times
Reputation: 2420
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
'Cause the mixed signal may be worth more than the clear signal...?

Touche !!!
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