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I thought so too at first, but check her previous posts...she was asking for recipes two days ago.
I almost hope its all false, because if its not...Its very sad in this day and age. What makes it worse is that its common....
There are enough challenges in ones life these days, but to have another challenge inflicted on you by some one you love and trust is morally corrupt.
Either way, Im hoping that things work out and maybe if others read this post that are going through these types of situations can use this as a warning sign or a catalyst for themselves to make changes.
I'm not a troll. I can't believe someone would think i'd be making this stuff up. I'm extremely overwhelmed right now and had the week off work to think things through.
Yes I did overdose, had my stomach pumped and was released from the hospital the following day. Today I followed up with a social worker and will continue therapy.
He is still in jail and i have a restraining order against him right now.
Leilani
Please take care. It's good that you will be meeting with a social worker. You need any and all available help. How are your kids handling all of this? You need to be strong for them, they need you. I'll keep you and your children in my prayers.
How was the Mayo Cake?
That was my indication you where not a "troll" ...Trolls dont ask for cake recipes, I guess my post wasnt clear.
This thread really had all the twists and turns of a horror story, I think that is where the previous poster assumed it to have cred issues. Honestly the way you left us hanging there Leilani...I was hoping it was fake!!!, I just sometimes cant believe what one person would do to another person they love....
Im glad to hear that things are moving forward for you.
I wish you success and happiness in your new found life... You are now free....
Just go one day at a time.
I'm having a hard enough time putting sentences together, let alone typing quickly. I don't have time to go back and re-check my spelling and punctuation. I hate when people do that to posters on here. I feel this is a board to express my opinions, not an English class. I type what's on my mind and really don't care to worry about how my sentence structure or spelling is.
Tip, install the firefox web browser, it has spell check. It's not perfect but works for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
I drive a 2005 Ford Windstar that I purchased last summer. I took out a 3 year loan to pay it off quickly (not sure of my interest, but I do have decent credit). I pay $320/month for it and put no money down. That seems to be the norm in car payments around here. My last car was a 97 Pontiac Sunfire (bought new) that basically died. He, on the other hand came home last month with a brand new Honda Accord. I wasn't happy, but there's not much I can do about it at this point.
I have a half hour commute to work and public transportation around here is terrible. Also, my job requires me to leave and go on appointments, so there's no real logical answer for that.
IMO, you should have one new/newer car. The one you bought is probably the family car, as is mine. We've used it a lot, it's served us well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
As far as groceries. I pinch every penny I can. I do a lot of cooking at home and shop at one of those BYOB (bring your own bag stores).
Your food shopping amount is decent. I don't think you can really cut that back. I go about every 2 weeks, spending about $175, usually sale items only.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
Since I'm spilling my guts and putting it all out there. I'm also going to add that for the last month when he works late, he's been coming home drunk and on a couple of occations he's been very mean to me.
I just don't know where to turn. Because of my mother's old fashioned values, she'd tell me to "stick by my man" and to basically deal with it.
How are you guys doing with this? Is he still drinking?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
The car is in my husband's name, not mine.
Who's name is your car in? Is it in your name or both?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
I went over a lot of the numbers this morning. I sat and had a heart to heart with my husband. We agreed to cut down on some of our expenses. He also agreed to give me his paychecks and deposit it into our bank account so i'll have full control over paying the bills (we have 3 different accounts). We then sat down with the kids and asked what they could sacrifice. We all agreed to reduce our cable to basic extended instead of having all of the channels. We're cutting our T-mobile plan and thought about getting the kids on minute plans (has anyone ever done that). They agreed to work for minutes on chores around the house. I specifically want this to be a family effort instead of all of it falling on my shoulders all the time. I showed my husband all of the bills and even though I tell him what I pay, he honestly didn't realize that much money was going towards bills. He's agreeing to work with me.
Watch the cell plan. With your kids, who do they call? Do they spend more time texting or talking? Verizon has decent family plans, I would check them out. The problem with pay as you go phones are that some are really expensive. I've found Trac Fone to be ok, they had a phone plus one year of minutes for about $100. My son's friends use Virgin Mobile. After it's all said and done, a family plan will probably be your cheapest. I know many people where the kids made them go over with minutes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
I'm glad that I sat down with him. Maybe my problem is i'm "whining"(yes i am) too much and expect everyone to read my mind. I always thought that I was strong. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I can't think that I could take everything on like I have.
I think your vent was a valid vent. I know people in your situation, the man is unmotivated and happy with the woman being the bread winner.
I see you said he's looking into welding, I know 2 people indirectly (fathers of my kids friends) that weld and both get laid off a lot. My son installs DirecTV and is doing great, much better then the job your hubby currently has. Have him look into it, they train. It will take about 3-4 weeks in training, 2 weeks in the "classroom" then 2 weeks working with a lead tech. They then get their own van which they drive home. Your hubby wouldn't even need his vehicle, you may then be able to look into returning it at a small loss.
Keep us posted. Hopefully sitting down and speaking to him will work. If he does not seek to better his job, then IMO he should hold the 2nd job, not you. If he wants to stay in the cooking field he might be able to find a better job somewhere else.
Roselvr, please go back and read the last page or two. She did keep us posted, but you haven't read it. There was even a post from her three posts up!
Things have changed - a LOT - and for the worse.
I did read all of her posts, or thought I did until I just looked. crap. I left off on this one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
I was going to respond different, but after reading some of the other posts, I decided not to.
I can't say it enough to everyone; thank you for all your advice. Some of it has been excellent and I sincerely appreciate it.
I was never looking for sympathy, I was simply venting at the time.
If you would have read all of the posts before yours, you would have seen where my money goes to.
I love my family. My husband and I have too much of a past to just leave that.
I look at the glass half full, not half empty.
Update on progress...
1 - I'm looking into changing my phone service to our local phone company. From what I see, it's cheaper. My contract is coming up on my cell phone and i'm considering on getting my cell phone services through the local phone company. I guess they have some new packages.
2 - My husband actually brought to my attention a food program through one of the churches. I want to say it's call Angel Share? (can't remember). You pay $30 or $40 for a months worth of food. Has anyone heard of it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
things took a turn for the worst last night. He beat the crap out of me and he's now in jail. I can't stop shaking right now. when i called his mother she blamed it on me. i feel so hopeless.
it's def. over..
I'm sorry it turned to this. I know what this is like.
The best advice I can give you is to remember you have kids that need their mother, so please, follow the advice that was given and call the number. I hope you took pictures of yourself? Did you see an attorney? You now need to document everything.
I know it's hard, your life is a mess but you have to pull yourself together and remember that when you start divorce proceedings, you will need a trail to back things up.
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Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
I have no one. His mother is blaming me for everything.
DM me if you need to talk. You now have me.
It's typical for his mother to blame you, think about it, you are a mother yourself, that would be your child. Of course your child is going to be right and without fault. Well, not necessarily for you or for me but for some people, their kids can do no wrong. My ex's family also blamed me. They also did not believe he did things to me even though they came over the day after I got punched and had a bruise somewhere. Until the day my ex SIL died she blamed me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
The neighbors called the police. I blacked out last night. things went so quick. The police arrested me at first and then they brought me home. Apparently the girl downstairs said she heard me yelling "help me". I can't go to work like this. My daughter is so distraught and i can't stop crying and shaking.
Thankfully the neighbors heard you.
Please look into counseling for the kids. Trust me, they are going to need it. Find a way to get it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
i just talked to his mother. She's so upset with me. I don't understand it. she just bonded him out of jail. I don't think he'll come back here. She went off on me and said she didn't know why he was with me. How could she say those things to me? He's not the f'ing victim.
Stop talking to her. You do not need a guilt trip right now and as I said she is going to stick up for him. Also watch your kids talking to her as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
Yes I did overdose, had my stomach pumped and was released from the hospital the following day. Today I followed up with a social worker and will continue therapy.
I know it's going to be hard to find strength to keep going but you have to for your kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
He is still in jail and i have a restraining order against him right now.
What ever you do, do not take the restraining order off. Eventually you might have to let the schools know you have one.
Thank god you're OK, I was worried about you! Stay strong and as time passes, you'll get better. Did you talk to the social worker? Are the kids OK?
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