"Ball and Chain"? (girlfriends, man, single, friends)
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It really depends on the context in which he is saying it. Does he get the chance to spend time with his friends or do you have to be with him. Maybe he was joking or maybe he just needs a little space. Everybody needs some me time and that should not be seen as a person not wanting to be with you. Simply ask him does he want a little time to himself sometimes.
Hey guys, this is semi-serious, but mostly just because I want opinions from everybody, especially guys, since this is kinda about you
So. How would you feel if you were told by the person you cared about that you were their "Ball and Chain"? Like, if they said it in a casual way, but at the same time, serious.
would you shrug it off and think nothing of it? or would you take a step back and really analyze it, and think about it for a moment?
Opinions from ANYBODY would be wonderful!
Kind of silly to say something like that because if someone doesn't want to be "tied" down why have someone in your life.
In others words it's a childish thing to say. Tell him to pack his sh*t and hit the brick.
I'd never ever say that about a woman, even if I was totally joking. It would just sound so degrading to her, and there's always the risk of planting doubt in her mind about my feelings for her.
Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker to new jerseyite ;)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mackinac81
I'd never ever say that about a woman, even if I was totally joking. It would just sound so degrading to her, and there's always the risk of planting doubt in her mind about my feelings for her.
Awww, how sweet! You're a keeper! Some woman will be lucky to have you!
I agree, and also a lack of respect. I also don't like to hear "the wife" instead of "my wife". Somehow (maybe it's just me) it puts the spouse on par with "the" dog and "the" cat.
I agree, and also a lack of respect. I also don't like to hear "the wife" instead of "my wife". Somehow (maybe it's just me) it puts the spouse on par with "the" dog and "the" cat.
Absolutely! It sounds disrespectful, demeaning, and IMO it's a deliberate choice of words...
Well, I actually once dressed as a ball and chain for halloween. Seriously. It was a great costume, and I had tons of fun (and oddly got tons of attention from guys, even though I was with my then-boyfriend). So, from that experience, it would appear that a "ball and chain" is not necessarily a bad thing--as in some guys actually WANT one. It's the meaning that can get attached to the words that is problematic. As other posters have said--does it imply something about how he feels about women/committed relationships?
For me, it would depend on the context and the overall balance of the relationship. I wouldn't care if my SO used that term with me--in a joking manner of course. But we also support and encourage one-another to have our own interests. AND, I am very confident in his feeling for me, and that he wants this relationship in his life. Being in a relationship brings with it certain responsibilities--some may construe that as being "tied down" (i.e., "ball and chain"). My SO takes those on willingly, as do I. In fact, we both feel lucky to have someone we want to be responsible to. I can think of past BFs where hearing that phrase would have bothered me immensely.
So... maybe your guy LIKES having a ball and chain Or he's thinking about permanent ball and chain status? If you're worried, you can always ask him what he means by it "hey, I've noticed you've said this a few times, and I just want to check in with you and see if you feel there are things you're missing out on that you'd like to be doing." Or the more simple "what do you mean when you say that?"
So... maybe your guy LIKES having a ball and chain Or he's thinking about permanent ball and chain status? If you're worried, you can always ask him what he means by it "hey, I've noticed you've said this a few times, and I just want to check in with you and see if you feel there are things you're missing out on that you'd like to be doing." Or the more simple "what do you mean when you say that?"
THAT'S exactly what I was thinking. Like, i KNOW his feelings for me are true. because he's the type of guy that follows his heart and if he isn't feeling it anymore, he'd tell me straight up. I guess it just bothered me slightly, because i wasn't sure how to take it, but from this, it seems that's where he was getting at! I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask him either.
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