Any geniuses out there who can not find a partner at their intellectual level? (date, married)
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I think your friend has set his standards to find someone like himself. That's fine if it's what he really wants. But I think I would get really bored if I married someone like myself. What he needs is a life outside of his intellect. What hobbies does he have? What does he do on his spare time? He should find someone that shares some of his interests, but not all. I think he needs to find a good woman more than an intellectual equal. When he finds that woman who is his "intellectual" equal, he may find that he bores her, and he's on the dumping end. You can have a good, fun, conversation with someone who doesn't have an IQ over 200. And what they have to say is no less important. How they treat him may be.
Exactly my point. First you need to know yourself and who/what qualities you are and are not compatible with. And secondly, you need to find someone that complements you, not a clone or an equal per se.
No, he is not one of those guys with an incredible IQ but lacks common sense and is broke, unemployed and living in his mothers basement because he can not function in society.
Instead he is just a remarkable person. He is a graduate of a Ivy League University, has had incredible career success, has traveled around the world, has incredible conversational skills and is so well read and informed.
He has it all except a women in his life.
He meets many women but leaves the dates unsatisfied and unimpressed. He can not find a women who has the intellectual and practical skills he has. He is just so brilliant and successful, no one he meets is his equal.
Anyone here that is real bright, well informed and successful have a hard time finding an equal?
I have a friend that falls somewhere within the scope you are describing.
IQ 155+, good job etc. He is widowed now but his wife was a very intelligent woman. Sounds like your friend is interested in women on *his level* and there are some but many women might have different insights, experiences and wisdom your friend is overlooking by dragging the conversation to his interests?
My friend has met several women in his lifetime that are never going to enjoy a conversation about the geological formations created by the Missoula floods, how options pricing works or how Napolean was behind modern canning practices. However, these same women offer a wealth of wisdom, kindness and other great attributes that he has missed out on.
Seems like he is skimming the pages and saying he doesn't like the novel.
This is the case for many intellectual men. I'm not going to toot my own horn here, but I can tell you there's a great challenge in meeting an equal. Frankly, I don't even concern myself with meeting women. What's most important to me is living a happy and fulfilled life. A woman needn't be the 'icing on the cake' for any man. We can learn to live without the pressure of feeling we need one at any point in our lives.
No, he is not one of those guys with an incredible IQ but lacks common sense and is broke, unemployed and living in his mothers basement because he can not function in society.
Instead he is just a remarkable person. He is a graduate of a Ivy League University, has had incredible career success, has traveled around the world, has incredible conversational skills and is so well read and informed.
He has it all except a women in his life.
He meets many women but leaves the dates unsatisfied and unimpressed. He can not find a women who has the intellectual and practical skills he has. He is just so brilliant and successful, no one he meets is his equal.
Anyone here that is real bright, well informed and successful have a hard time finding an equal?
Why must they be equal? How boring. I believe the saying "opposites attract". Everyone has their own strengths they bring to the table, it evens out the relationship. My husband is much more complacent then me and I am much more spontaneous. He has brought more calm I have brought him more excitement. When we go on vacations it is very much unplanned, I go online if I see a deal for airfare or hotels etc. I book them and tell him we are going on vacation. Sometimes its in a week sometimes it in a couple months. I often don't plan it out if I see it and I like it , I just go for it. He would NEVER do that, he would have to plan it to death and something would come up and we would not be able to go. So he has enjoyed more things from me being spontaneous than he would if he were with his carbon. My husband also has a high IQ, but is very quiet with not as much common sense. I have often described him as the smartest stupid person I have ever met.
My friend has met several women in his lifetime that are never going to enjoy a conversation about the geological formations created by the Missoula floods, how options pricing works or how Napolean was behind modern canning practices. However, these same women offer a wealth of wisdom, kindness and other great attributes that he has missed out on.
Really?! Then he's very successful because I would guess that only several women WILL enjoy talking about geological formations. Not that anything is wrong the said formations, but that's usually not what a compatible and warm couple feels the need to talk about at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe
You sound boring. Besides the only fun you have is peaking through the curtains or wondering about how ethnic the MN State Fair is. How intellectual?
No kiddin'! It’s all a matter of perspective, man… Reminds me of people who tell you they speak some languages and then you find out they know how to say “hi” and “bye”…
You sound boring. Besides the only fun you have is peaking through the curtains or wondering about how ethnic the MN State Fair is. How intellectual?
I never said I was all that intellectual but for people that are, why would they want to date someone who is less talented, educated, well read and intellectual than they are?
Nice alone would get boring. Ask all the accomplished men who marry the pretty sexy girl with no intellectual interests who lose their looks as they get older and then end up in divorce court.
Fantastic post. I wish I could give you 100 REP points.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos
Hard to answer that one. Most people who answer will either sound egotistical in touting their own intellect, or start off with the proverbial "I have this friend..."
I was in Naval Intelligence for 20 years, I was a Mensa candidate, and I was lucky enough to have lived in 4 countries (not counting the US) and can converse in a couple languages (rudimentarily). I am by no means a mental giant, but I like the philosophical discussions as much as a good joke or watching a football game.
My wife hasn't gone to college, doesn't care about deep philosophical discussions, and had never even heard of Mensa. But she's so much more my equal or better in several areas... it's why I love her so much. She's grounded in "today". I have to force her to "dream" of better things for us. She's a fantastic mother, wife, and partner. I never look at her as whether she's my intellectual equal or not. Our conversations revolve around our kids, our house, our lives. I can always get "intellectual conversation" with other people, but you can only find a great woman once in a while.
I think your friend has set his standards to find someone like himself. That's fine if it's what he really wants. But I think I would get really bored if I married someone like myself. What he needs is a life outside of his intellect. What hobbies does he have? What does he do on his spare time? He should find someone that shares some of his interests, but not all. I think he needs to find a good woman more than an intellectual equal. When he finds that woman who is his "intellectual" equal, he may find that he bores her, and he's on the dumping end. You can have a good, fun, conversation with someone who doesn't have an IQ over 200. And what they have to say is no less important. How they treat him may be.
This is the case for many intellectual men. I'm not going to toot my own horn here, but I can tell you there's a great challenge in meeting an equal. Frankly, I don't even concern myself with meeting women. What's most important to me is living a happy and fulfilled life. A woman needn't be the 'icing on the cake' for any man. We can learn to live without the pressure of feeling we need one at any point in our lives.
Thank you. I thought this thread was benign, but evidently it sets off a "canyon" between how people view this.
I'm NOT a genius, but my grades have been high, I've majored in very practical fields, I work in these practical fields, and I have a high IQ, though not enough for Mensa.
That being said, I like really intelligent women. The ones I've met are either (a) not attractive, nor (b) as per another thread, not feminine. I have begun to date in category (b) and, after a short time, can't handle it. A "punch in the arm, let's get a beer" girl who is toward the last-born after many brothers just doesn't work for me, no matter how much she likes men. Both of the last 2 were MBAs...the first wanted kids and there was no way I was going to let a tough MBA from Cornell (no less) stay at home with kids while I supported her. The second has an MBA from an ok West Coast university and isn't interested in kids because she has brushed age 40. Still, she is a little on the tough side, has attempted to be controlling and I am phasing out the rapport (just received a call last night, actually).
Given the above scenarios, I don't at all mind being alone. I enjoy it. But I am open to a situation better than either of the two above.
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However, these same women offer a wealth of wisdom, kindness and other great attributes that he has missed out on.
