Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My MIL does. This is why she hasn't talked to my husband for 4 years and back in the 90's they had no contact for 4 years as well. She gets set in her ways and I refuse to deal with a 56 year old child! She got snotty over something that happened at Christmas one year and never got over it. Then we moved and hubby tried to contact her and that was a mistake, so better off without them. Sad thing is she will never really know what a wonderful man her son is. I certainly wouldn't be with him if he wasn't.
No, I don't and I do not understand how one is able to hold onto such negative energy for so long. It's toxic. The people formerly known as my parent's do, to everyone, about everything. They're toxic and I avoid toxic people. I suspect that the way they conduct themselves by this alone (because it truly is a lifestyle to some) will put them in the ground soon enough by the toll it will take on them physically and spiritually.
My MIL does. This is why she hasn't talked to my husband for 4 years and back in the 90's they had no contact for 4 years as well. She gets set in her ways and I refuse to deal with a 56 year old child! She got snotty over something that happened at Christmas one year and never got over it. Then we moved and hubby tried to contact her and that was a mistake, so better off without them. Sad thing is she will never really know what a wonderful man her son is. I certainly wouldn't be with him if he wasn't.
These are such sad situations! This woman has no clue the extreme regret she'll have one day for her actions now - if not in this life, then in the next.
forgive: to give up resentment of; pardon, absolve (to set free from an obligation or the consequences of guilt).
That sounds like one forgives for oneself, and the person who did wrong.
I keep forgiveness for the 5 people I love most in this world, because they are the only ones in my life that it's important for me to forgive. All others, I just let go of. No resentment, NO FEELINGS at all, and NEVER a chance to wrong me again.
Anybody else, well, I am just learning to let go of wrongs against me, depending on what that wrong is. I was raised to hold on to things and not forgive. There are things people have done to me that will never deserve forgiveness, and I will never care for those people as I once did, my brother being one.
A long time ago, I heard something that made a lot of sense; religiously speaking, a person is supposed to ask for forgiveness from God. Why would we, as people, be expected to forgive automatically without the offender asking for forgiveness? You would think that God would be the only automatic forgiver.
No, I don't and I do not understand how one is able to hold onto such negative energy for so long. It's toxic.
The peopleformerly known as my parent's do, to everyone, about everything. They're toxic and I avoid toxic people. I suspect that the way they conduct themselves by this alone (because it truly is a lifestyle to some) will put them in the ground soon enough by the toll it will take on them physically and spiritually.
You don't understand, yet you refer to your parents as 'formerly known as'? Sounds like you never intend to forgive them, so in your own words, holding on to that is toxic. Does that mean you're a toxic person yourself?
My inlaws are the only people I can't get past, but that may be because they are continually doing something nasty.
Exactly why I had to sever ties with my parent's - the back-to-back episodes. Their rebound rate for the next asinine stunt was outstanding. When I applied continued understanding and forgiveness toward them (years and years worth), it was time to do it all over again. It exhausted me. I had to say, enough is enough and wished them adieu. It's been almost a year now without contact and I have never felt more alive. When you are constantly in a state of forgiving, well, I just cannot accurately describe what it's like living that way. There comes a time where you have to walk away to save yourself.
You don't understand, yet you refer to your parents as 'formerly known as'? Sounds like you never intend to forgive them, so in your own words, holding on to that is toxic. Does that mean you're a toxic person yourself?
Read above. I have forgiven them countless times and I have forgiven them a final time. Forgiveness does not mean that you are willing to be another's punching bag for a few more rounds. It is a CHOICE to not further subject ones self to it. Its a FACT that toxic people derive pleasure in bringing others down with them. Some toxic people are dead inside. I choose to live. I gather that you may be a toxic person not quite understanding that there is a point where some may not want to partake in your toxicity? Or are you a non-toxic individual just purely speculating and dissecting?
Some people seem to forget that you can forgive - and there is a difference between being "sorry" - and "REMORSE" - remorse means that you will not repeat the act to which needed forgiveness. Some are NEVER remorseful and use the word "sorry" casually without meaning. When someone is sorry, they fail to provide the action backing up, proving true "remorse."
Exactly why I had to sever ties with my parent's - the back-to-back episodes. Their rebound rate for the next asinine stunt was outstanding. When I applied continued understanding and forgiveness toward them (years and years worth), it was time to do it all over again. It exhausted me. I had to say, enough is enough and wished them adieu. It's been almost a year now without contact and I have never felt more alive. When you are constantly in a state of forgiving, well, I just cannot accurately describe what it's like living that way. There comes a time where you have to walk away to save yourself.
And maybe forgiveness looks different to everyone...perhaps you are forgiving them by turning away and living your life. No one said we had to have Norman Rockwell relationships with holidays spent around the dining room table and huge Christmas celebrations in order to forgive someone. This may be exactly what you needed in order to forgive them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
