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I am not a grudge holder. In fact I may get mad for a minute but seem to let it go just as quickly. My sister use to hold grudges big time but grew out of it since she got older (retired) My one brother however wears a grudge like a badge of honor. Unfortunately due to this the 3 out of 4 of us have a relationship but he just won't let it go. My sister is ill with a terminal thing yet he could careless about reaching out to her and at this point she feels it pointless. How about you? Do you hold a grudge and if so for how long?
Last edited by chey2u; 09-30-2008 at 10:17 AM..
Reason: spelling
There are people in my past whom I've decided never to see again. I forgive them. I understand them. And I choose to stay the h*ll away from them...forever.
Depends on who it is and what they did. Most of the time, no. I don't want to be an unhappy person. I can only think of one person I've held a grudge against. He was a guy who was a friend of my family. When I went through a divorce with my ex husband, my ex paid this guy a bunch of money to go into court as a witness for him and lie about me. This guy admitted it to me and my family afterward because my ex didn't pay him all the money he was supposed to. My family for some reason, kind of agreed to "forgive and forget" but not me. To this day - over 20 years later, this guy is a traitor in my book and will always be. You don't sell people out for a few lousy bucks.
No point, in my opinion, to hold a grudge. It's wasted emotional energy and it gives power to the person you're upset with.
However, I don't think that's the same as cutting someone out of your life. At some point, you have to realize that some people aren't worth it and bring nothing to your life.
I do. With time I might even forget what exactly it's about (so it doesn't consume me per se), but still have a bad taste in my mouth associated with the person.
I don't hold grudges. All of us grow and change with life experience, so the person that wronged you years ago may be a completely different person now.
I have wronged people in my life, and I was completely different back then.
my ex-mother-in-law actually takes pride in saying she never forgets and never forgives. she is a very bitter hard person dying a really bitter hard death. someone told me once a person "wears their life on their face" and her face is literally frozen in this contorted frowning grimace of hate.
she is my best advertisement for not going down that path
the other thing i read recently is that physically and physiologically, hate and anger are the most destructive attitudes we can carry, when we breed hate and anger we are destroying our bodies and making ourselves ill.
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Too bad some people just can't seem to understand this and continue to suck the poison into their systems.
