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"Love at first sight" would've been too cheesy a title for this thread... and an inaccurate one, because that isn't what happened to me a few days ago.
A few days ago I met a woman. We spent much of the day together; she's an out of town person and I spent much of the day showing her around. Neither she nor I had any intentions to make this a date - really. We had previously seen each others' pictures and had some online communication.
We met in an online community not unlike this one, and our first "meeting" happened several years ago. We often chatted there and exchanged PMs... strictly as friends. I still go to that website and have had chats and PMs with several other people, and met others in person. Then, about 2 ½ years ago, she disappeared from that website and told me and others whom she was in email contact with that she wanted to keep any contact strictly online and that she had no intentions to ever meet in person. She was polite, but firm. I accepted her wishes and we eventually lost touch.
Then in recent time she emailed me and wanted to reconnect and said she was going to visit NY soon and asked me if I’d like to meet – the insinuation was that it was not a date, just as friends. I accepted, and we started to chat online; again, it has been strictly on a “friend” level.
So she came here, and I showed her around. We both had a great time. I showed her several places here in NY and we got along well. I felt very comfortable with her, and our conversations covered a diversity of topics.
As the night progressed, things happened. The attraction was mutual.
We talked about "us" as a potential item, and we both agreed that the distance between us would be an issue.
She's got a few days left here, and I have not been able to stop thinking about her since that day. I spoke to two men who are close to me and they both said that while yes, long-distance can be an obstacle, it doesn't mean it's impossible.
I don't know why I can't stop thinking about her. Some of you may assume it's because she's hot or beautiful... well, while I've always been a sucker for beauty, she's more on the "cute" side - not hot, not sexy, but that didn't matter. by the end of the evening I did not want to let her go. BTW we didn’t have sex.
Do you guys think that the fact I have not been able to get her out of my mind since our meeting means I am in love? I am not sure if what I am feeling is merely an infatuation or something more serious.
Talking as a guy that's had his fair share (nothing like Wilt Chamberlain) but on the first date my goal always was to score a homerun. I had never fallen in love on the first.
In my honest opinion....I don't think it means love...infatuation maybe, lust yes...probably....love? I think love goes much deeper than what your feeling. I don't think I belive in love at first sight....I give love too much credit for it to be that.....Not to say you couldn't fall in love with her and if/when you do....trust me, really won't need to ask.
Hmmm... OK thanks. It's just that I have had this heavy chest today and I know it's because I miss her. not something that happens when I lust after a girl.
that was just my opinion.....maybe you are, only you can know that. I was just saying that I think love is used too often today.....it's a progression of feelings, an actual falling. I dunno, maybe i'm wrong but i've dated a bunch and thought I was truly in love so many times until I actually was.....then it was like OMG....i really don't even need to wonder if I am because I KNOW I am.....it just hits you like a ton of bricks.
The reason I find it a bit hard to accept that it's just lust is that she doesn't fit the profile of the woman I'd "lust" after, physically speaking. And as I said at the moment I met her, I didn't find her physically attractive. I will even say that when I saw her in person, I thought to myself that she looked better in the pictures.
But as the evening progressed and we talked and opened up, she became so very attractive to my eyes.
I can't stop thinking about her. My chest is heavy. And what I want from her at this moment isn't sexual gratification... I just wish to see her and to spend some time with her.
Hmmm... OK thanks. It's just that I have had this heavy chest today and I know it's because I miss her. not something that happens when I lust after a girl.
It doesn't sound like just lust, but I don't think you've really spent enough time with her to be in love yet. Of course I can't really say; only you know that for sure. Whatever the case, I don't see why you shouldn't pursue the relationship if your feelings are that strong.
Sprawling, You didn't say how far away she lives. If you want it to work you don't need to let distance get in the way. My wife and I went through that when we met. We met online and dated for over a year before we decided to get married. Problem was neither one of us could move right then. She had 20 years with her job and was taking care of her semi invalid mother. I had over 20 years at my job and was trying to stay close to my school age sons. We got married and made it 6 years living 70 miles apart. We both just retired and I have moved to her town where we bought our own house. We both seemed to hit it off on the first date. She was hesitant to think about love after a bad experience with 2nd husband. Just take it slow and easy and see how things work out. If it's meant to be, you two will be together for a long time. If it's not, at least you tried.
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