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Old 10-22-2008, 01:49 PM
 
542 posts, read 1,685,005 times
Reputation: 329

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
optiflex-you seem like you got your shi* together. How did you handle your divorce? Did you have a good support system?

I just had another thought to add to my situation. I noticed my feelings changing when I started my job about 1 1/2 years ago. (before that I was a stay at home mom) When I started the people I work with are a close bunch. They get together alot and have different fuctions all the time. I would love to attend. I get along really great with everyone. My husband would be miseralble around people he didnt know, and that would ruin my time. As far as going alone - he would question why all of a sudden I want to go out. S

sometimes I feel like I am a different person when he is not around. My personality is so different. I think I am more myself when he is gone.
Just like many of your other posts...you just give up on every suggestion before trying. He won't do this or he won't like that.

Why not just say...I need some more me time...some friend time...I miss socializing and would love to go to the work happy hour ocassionally.

You've already given up and decided to leave...why are we continuing this thread?

 
Old 10-22-2008, 01:52 PM
 
24,832 posts, read 37,348,515 times
Reputation: 11538
Quote:
Originally Posted by vukinjo View Post
Just like many of your other posts...you just give up on every suggestion before trying. He won't do this or he won't like that.

Why not just say...I need some more me time...some friend time...I miss socializing and would love to go to the work happy hour ocassionally.

You've already given up and decided to leave...why are we continuing this thread?
I hate to point out the obvious but, you just posted in it. That makes it continue.
 
Old 10-22-2008, 01:53 PM
 
305 posts, read 373,291 times
Reputation: 47
Ok lets say my mind is made up. I am going to leave. Should I stay throughout the holidays and not tell him I plan to go after that. Becasue if I tell him now, he will want to dicuss it all the time and I just cant do that
 
Old 10-22-2008, 01:56 PM
 
542 posts, read 1,685,005 times
Reputation: 329
Quote:
Originally Posted by Driller1 View Post
I hate to point out the obvious but, you just posted in it. That makes it continue.
You got me! Point taken
 
Old 10-22-2008, 01:58 PM
 
542 posts, read 1,685,005 times
Reputation: 329
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
Ok lets say my mind is made up. I am going to leave. Should I stay throughout the holidays and not tell him I plan to go after that. Becasue if I tell him now, he will want to dicuss it all the time and I just cant do that
Tough question, but I would stay and focus on having a great holiday for the kids especially. But after the holiday I don't think I would just up and leave abruptly but maybe start the serious separation discussions.

You are going to need to be a united front when it comes to your girls. Even the best divorces are hard on the kiddos.
 
Old 10-22-2008, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Right were I should be!
1,081 posts, read 1,647,685 times
Reputation: 1126
I agree with anadyr21,

This may be the single most important decision of your adult life (and the lives of your children) and you are looking to strangers for advice and validation? You need help, professional help.
 
Old 10-22-2008, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Not tied down... maybe later! *rawr*
2,689 posts, read 6,934,929 times
Reputation: 4341
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
Ok lets say my mind is made up. I am going to leave. Should I stay throughout the holidays and not tell him I plan to go after that. Becasue if I tell him now, he will want to dicuss it all the time and I just cant do that

Stop putting off the obvious.

You've made up your mind. You want out. To hell with what any one else wants. It's not gonna be any prettier if you do that today or if you wait and fake your way through the holidays. Either way, you're gonna destroy your family. Might as well make that happen now rather than later. Maybe you can make it up to the kids with lots of Christmas presents.

(That last sentence is sarcasm, btw!)

Guess it's not as pretty when written out as it is when you play the scenario out in your mind, huh?
 
Old 10-22-2008, 02:00 PM
 
305 posts, read 373,291 times
Reputation: 47
I know how hard divorce is on children. Do any of you think it is posible to get them through this without severe issues?
 
Old 10-22-2008, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,645 posts, read 38,655,954 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
I know how hard divorce is on children. Do any of you think it is posible to get them through this without severe issues?
No, I do not think that is possible.
 
Old 10-22-2008, 02:03 PM
 
Location: HELL a.k.a Columbus, GA
244 posts, read 865,645 times
Reputation: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
I also know that this is a ME issue. Why I group being free and being able to hook up with who I want together , I really dont know. Maybe I feel I missed out on that aspect of life.
I've been reading but had no intention of responding. However, this comment made me wonder if your husband is the only person you've been with sexually. Is that it? You want to experience sex with someone other than your husband? I could just be reading too much into it but that's the only reason why I can think you'd want to "hook up" with other men.

I think most women will tell you that most men are full of bravado and when the time comes to perform, they are sorely lacking. But, let them tell it, they're the best you'll ever have. 80% of the men I slept with before I met my husband were a complete waste of time. Those are not good odds. I'm not going to tell you what to do about your relationship. I don't know you or your husband. He sounds great but I don't live with him. You do. I'll just say that if this is an issue of you thinking you've missed out sexually, trust me, you haven't.
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