Further realizing singledom. . . and further loving it! (dating, boyfriends, long-term)
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As the time increases that I am single and unattached to another, I am further LOVING it! I've made some major purchases lately that typically was a joint decision and selection when I was married. . .and I have this eerie, yet, very overly-serene and liberated SINGLE feeling of happiness and contentment over it!
I went through my stages in dating of "wouldn't it be nice..." into the current stage I am in of, "No way, Jose, you'd have more luck in catching an oiled pig."
In the past week, all of the sudden really, it literally happened overnight, I went through my phone book in my cell and deleted entries of those I had dated and had a slight interest in and vice-versa. Have had no interest in returning their calls or with any sort of explanation, being that nothing was serious to begin with anyway, no one should be whimpering or jerking crocodile tears. Just a total lost of interest into the negative. I still adore men, I just do not want to date any right now or be attached to one. As if lightning struck down from my ceiling, I feel 200% content in being single without any romantic attention from a man. Doing what I want, when I want, enjoying the time by myself and with my son, my female friends. . . preparing for the holiday. It feels a little self-absorbed, OK, a lot self-absorbed, but I am *loving* it.
Is this a stage that anyone else went through after they got divorced or split out of a long-term relationship? How long did it last? Was there a certain event that made you feel "No way, Jose.." (i.e. something you did that you never did on your own before, fed up with the BS of dating, etc.) from that point on - or did you just one day wake up with the feeling and mindset?
In the past week, all of the sudden really, it literally happened overnight, I went through my phone book in my cell and deleted entries of those I had dated and had a slight interest in and vice-versa. Have had no interest in returning their calls or with any sort of explanation, being that nothing was serious to begin with anyway, no one should be whimpering or jerking crocodile tears. Just a total lost of interest into the negative. I still adore men, I just do not want to date any right now or be attached to one. As if lightning struck down from my ceiling, I feel 200% content in being single without any romantic attention from a man. Doing what I want, when I want, enjoying the time by myself and with my son, my female friends. . . preparing for the holiday. It feels a little self-absorbed, OK, a lot self-absorbed, but I am *loving* it.
I hardly consider that being self-absorbed. I think it's a very positive and healthy way of thinking and more people should take that approach.
I separated in 2002 and was gone for a year an a half. Long story made short, my mom was dying and I went up to help my dad and just didn't come home. I realized how happy I was by myself. I bought a little log cabin in the woods near Lake Erie....wow it was Heaven!!!! I did like being on my own. I volunteered my time at an inner-city mission and at a riding center where they put handicapped children on the horses. I loved making my own choices and was never lonely.
I went to the bookstore and saw Purpose Driven Life, read it and decided to return home and put effort into the relationship. That was five years ago in Dec...hard to believe it has been that long. I miss being on my own and the choices I had. I have at times regreted my decision to come home. Things are not good but I stay for my wonderful grandchildren who are 2 1/2 and 7 months. They make life worthwhile for me.
As the time increases that I am single and unattached to another, I am further LOVING it! I've made some major purchases lately that typically was a joint decision and selection when I was married. . .and I have this eerie, yet, very overly-serene and liberated SINGLE feeling of happiness and contentment over it!
I went through my stages in dating of "wouldn't it be nice..." into the current stage I am in of, "No way, Jose, you'd have more luck in catching an oiled pig."
In the past week, all of the sudden really, it literally happened overnight, I went through my phone book in my cell and deleted entries of those I had dated and had a slight interest in and vice-versa. Have had no interest in returning their calls or with any sort of explanation, being that nothing was serious to begin with anyway, no one should be whimpering or jerking crocodile tears. Just a total lost of interest into the negative. I still adore men, I just do not want to date any right now or be attached to one. As if lightning struck down from my ceiling, I feel 200% content in being single without any romantic attention from a man. Doing what I want, when I want, enjoying the time by myself and with my son, my female friends. . . preparing for the holiday. It feels a little self-absorbed, OK, a lot self-absorbed, but I am *loving* it.
Is this a stage that anyone else went through after they got divorced or split out of a long-term relationship? How long did it last? Was there a certain event that made you feel "No way, Jose.." (i.e. something you did that you never did on your own before, fed up with the BS of dating, etc.) from that point on - or did you just one day wake up with the feeling and mindset?
I found myself in that state of mind immediately after my divorce. It lasted 7 years.
I was born that way.Always have been a independant type.As a kid I couldn't wait to grow up so nobody could tell me what to do.When my insurance company started oppressing me with their insurance hikes and I had to eat it because my mortgage company demanded I have that insurance coupled with the fact I had to kiss ass to my employment for the sake luckily I sold my house and am in a position for nobody to ever hold me financially hostage again.
I can't stand the thought of me having to kiss anybodies ass or being told what or what I must not do.Yeah we all have to answer to somebody someway,I have a boss at work but now I can leave if I want.
Women?Well I was head over heals once,probably would have married her,didn't work out.I just am so into myself,not selfish wise but just a introvert that I don't need to know I'm loved.But I do need the company of a woman sometimes,the touch of a woman.So maybe I might fall in love sometime and it could change me but for now a friends with benefits situation is perfect for me with a woman who also needs a man sometimes but like me needs alot of alone space also.
When my last LTR ended, I felt the same way. It lasted 2 years. I think it's a great thing, some of us just need time to ourselves. Many people have been brainwashed into thinking that the only way to be happy is to be in a relationship. Unfortunately, it's this thinking that usually leads to some pretty bad decisions.
Whew, OK, thank you, I feel normal now. . . what I am about to say might change that though. . .
OK, how do I convey this properly without sounding like a total butthead.
Today I was loading up the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen, just thinking, you know how it goes. . . and like I have stated in recent threads I am not against two non-committed unmarried adults having consensual sex every now and then (not to be mistaken with being a hoochie and bed-notching), I have not had any one night stands or 'so-called' cheap flings. . . and in my state of mind of not wanting to date men. . .OMG, have I written off ever getting laid for a while?? - cause I still have a sex drive. . . I just cannot picture me picking up some guy to tap it. Not my style, even though my overall view is that it is anyone's right to do so being that it is safely done. Have I just committed myself to "BOB?"
If I had to put a visual with it, pretend for a second that both my mind and my hormones were two individual people standing facing one another. . . my mind is saying, "And that is that." The hormones are looking back going, "But...WTF?!?!"
I am more liberal in my views VS my own actual actions, if that makes sense.
So. . . how is this going to go now? LOL - this is such a DORK question, but I cannot help but ask.
And if anyone can tell me, I know its all of you!
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I did like being on my own. I volunteered my time at an inner-city mission and at a riding center where they put handicapped children on the horses. I loved making my own choices and was never lonely.
