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If she is so perfect and all knowing then why did she marry him?
Who? My friend? Perfect? Nope. Far from it. She was a dork for marrying him and he was a moron for asking. It didn't last very long, but oh the fireworks that erupted in that short little time-frame! LOL
I don't know what she was thinking. She had to have accidentally gotten hold of someone's old, nasty crack pipe laying around or something ... I don't know.
i agree with others on this post. it is impossible to tell from just this post why the jealousy.
what is alarming in too many instances, a husbands jealousy is simply ignored or resented or mocked. why do women feel that short of bedding the boyfriend, company of other men outside of marriage is fine and presents no lapse of ethics. as to husbands jealousy, too often the attitude seems to be ol hank just needs to shut up suck it up take it like a man. with marriage failure at 56% it would seem red flags would be given more attention no?. astounding so many CDF posts from women who are livid that their husbands talk to some gal on the internet, but it seems ok if the shoe is on the other foot?
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 11-13-2008 at 06:50 PM..
No, I am not a man hater. You said yourself that your husband is leery of your female friends too. Here's the quote:
"There is no question, of course my husband. Maybe weekly calls are too much....what sucks is that he really is a great friend. I have attempted to introduce them once when we were in town where he lives. He didnt (my husband)want any part of it. You know, now that I think about it he seems to have issues with anyone I knew before him, even female. Whats that all about?"
If this isn't controlling, I don't know what is. Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? I'm serious - something drastic has to be done and if he is not willing to change a little, you need to decide what you're going to do - cow tow to him or live your life and have friends. Trust me, the longer this goes on the more resentment you are going to feel until one day you just snap.
Yes, your right. I did say those words.....have you ever been married? no one in marriage is perfect by any means, its just not possible. Its a give and take. Let me assure you that I am not one of those women who allows their husbands to tell them what to do in fact, its the other way around. Is he insecure yes, does he question me when I go out shopping or to class or somewhere with the kids? never...why? because he knows I wouldnt tolerate it. Is he giving, affectionate, attentive, a good provider and supportive of my goals? absolutely 100%....here is my point, if he is insecure in ways I dont want him to be because when you are married you dont want your spouse to feel those feelings. No partner is going to be perfect, without flaws. He doesnt drink, cheat or be abusive. Sounds pretty good to me. Actually, these posts have shown me that I need to involve him in the friendship so he feels secure about it. Thats what spouses do, put each other first. And no...Im not a newlywed....9 nine years now married. Look, I appreciate your advice (I did ask for it) and I think you make some great points and your posts are straight forward and blunt which is what Im like BUT regardless of what you will admit somewhere down the line you have had a poor male relationship in your life that gave you somewhat of a negative take on men....maybe it was dear old dad, maybe it was an ex boyfriend I dont know....the answer cannot always be to run away, sometimes if the situation is right its worth it to stay and do the work.
sorry it doesn't work like that, while others do think and feel as you do, your husband and others don't.
It's not about no friends of the opposite sex, but what it may be more about is the frequency of the friendship, or if you spend time with the friend alone without hubby...
I had male friends to, but my husband was always there with us...never did I meet them alone, or do anything with them alone...b/c my husband was jealous. My male friends that I knew since high school understood, they surely didn't want to cause my husband any reason for fear or discomfort...
again, if he didn't have an issue with it ok, but I guess you have to ask yourself, who is more important to you.....
life isn't always fair, sometimes we gotta give up things we don't want to, but if it means helping your husband, to be more comfortable and less stressed, then I would do it?
You don't have to never see them again...just make certain when you do, he is along?
She should offer to introduce the two of them. She should, if possible, introduce the two of them. But if the husband is still wary or not happy with the nature of the relationship, she should curtail it or end it outright.
Yes, your right. I did say those words.....have you ever been married? no one in marriage is perfect by any means, its just not possible. Its a give and take. Let me assure you that I am not one of those women who allows their husbands to tell them what to do in fact, its the other way around.
OK......you are the one who sounds controlling here. It's the other way around?
Quote:
Is he insecure yes, does he question me when I go out shopping or to class or somewhere with the kids? never...why? because he knows I wouldnt tolerate it
OK......so would you tolerate it if he went out with the boys, or had a young, attractive female "friend"? You seem to want it both ways here and are blaming him for the fallout.
Quote:
. Is he giving, affectionate, attentive, a good provider and supportive of my goals? absolutely 100%
So why do I get strange vibes from your post? You sound rational sometimes, but at other times you seem like a total bridezilla......
Her husband should help himself. She doesn't need to "get over herself"...we're in the year 2008. Women are ALLOWED to have platonic friendships of the opposite sex nowadays. She doesn't need to answer to anyone. It was very jerkface of you to tell her to "be a good wife".
true, in theory. but how many guys just want to be friends? what do they really want? at least the good majority...
true, in theory. but how many guys just want to be friends? what do they really want? at least the good majority...
well said you got rep. playing men off each other is a control game. the defense is always i didn't sleep with him. control games are addictive and fun, they have cost more than 1 woman a good man.
Would you feel alright if your guy was just friends with some jawdropping bosom open personality knockout girl?Tell me you wouldn't stop and think sometimes that maybe he might loose control when you aren't around?
I have been "just" friends a couple times inmy life and in both cases sexual attractiveness either was at the start or the end.One girl I wanted her,she didn't want me,now I don't want her and we are friends anyway.The other I wanted,she didn't want me,then one day out of the blue she came on to me and the next thing I knew it was more than friends.....
very true you got rep.
many claim equal treatment but really don't. many of these false concepts aka i am a liberated woman and have no obligations to anyone. came from the women movement. women and men do have obligations in a marriage and our attempt at denying they exist has contributed heavily to the failure rate, 56% at this time.
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