I'm back :) Needing advice re:son and girlfriend (long read) (long-term, woman)
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Just don't let your son marry her. And never let her have sole custody of the child. It's a shame when women try to use a baby as a meal ticket. And I agree, with her money woes, all that lawyer talk is a bluff. As long as your son has a good job and you are willing to help take care of the baby, he shouldn't have a problem having full custody of it.
Well, I did say it doesn't happen a lot. In fact, when my family found out I was pregnant, they thought about trying to get custody from me. Yes, I was that much of a loser. In fact, this girl reminds me of myself at that age.
But, people do change. My entire family was shocked by my change. I instantly stopped drinking, smoking, got a job, opened a savings account and I didn't even want anyone cursing or raising their voice around me, worried it would have an adverse effect on the fetus.
In fact, I got down on my knees and broke down crying and praying to God not to let the pot/cigarettes/alcohol effect the baby. I didn't want him to suffer for my sins. I cried myself to sleep every night of my pregnancy praying that same prayer.
I may have overdone it because my son is the healthiest kid I've ever seen!
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
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I agree that motherhood "can" change some people.
I just don't feel it will with this one.
When mu husband and son came home from the holiday, we had a welcome home party for them.
Now gf has told me she quit smoking and will not smoke in front of me.
Well one of my friends busted her smoking and got onto her. Her reply was "well my momma was a crack head and I turned out alright".
There is just so much wrong with that comment I would fill this whole thread !
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21
Okay, after reading that, I decided this girl is nothing like me. Yuck!
WHY would you want anyone one to know that bit of info?
Why when surround by adults- hard working adult- your boyfriends parents friend !
I am besides myself !!!!!!
1. Your son has to break up with her. Tell him to leave the apartment and turn off all of the utilities. He can still pay for the rent if he doesn't want to break the lease but he needs to turn off any and all utitilities that he pays for including cell phones. Let him stay with you if he needs to. She'll probably leave when she has no lights, phone, etc.
2. Your son needs to consult a lawyer regarding his rights as a father. If she has no income and no way to provide for her child, he may get custody (after it's proven that it's his, of course). If she manages to keep the child and he has to pay child support a lawyer will help in making sure that he has the proper visitation rights.
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatmancomics
1. Your son has to break up with her. Tell him to leave the apartment and turn off all of the utilities. He can still pay for the rent if he doesn't want to break the lease but he needs to turn off any and all utitilities that he pays for including cell phones. Let him stay with you if he needs to. She'll probably leave when she has no lights, phone, etc.
2. Your son needs to consult a lawyer regarding his rights as a father. If she has no income and no way to provide for her child, he may get custody (after it's proven that it's his, of course). If she manages to keep the child and he has to pay child support a lawyer will help in making sure that he has the proper visitation rights.
See thats the kicker ! He is out of state working, not even living there at the moment. He is being provided housing by his company while out of state. He is maintaining his place simply for her, and is regretting it. If it weren't for the baby in the picture- he has said she would be gone.
He is worried that if he does make her leave, that it will look bad when custody does come up, being that she is pregnant.
He needs to consult with a lawyer now - before the baby is born - to start putting a plan of action in place. A paternity test is a given. He needs to start planning right now. He may not be seen as "the bad guy" if he stops paying her rent and utilities, but he really needs to get some good advice from a certified specialist.
See thats the kicker ! He is out of state working, not even living there at the moment. He is being provided housing by his company while out of state. He is maintaining his place simply for her, and is regretting it. If it weren't for the baby in the picture- he has said she would be gone.
He is worried that if he does make her leave, that it will look bad when custody does come up, being that she is pregnant.
I would follow the advice to turn off the utilities and get her to leave on her own accord. I'd still pay the rent, but make it clear she needs to pay her living expenses. It won't look bad if she leaves because she can't pay the utilities and your son can prove he paid the rent or half the bills which ever is more.
See thats the kicker ! He is out of state working, not even living there at the moment. He is being provided housing by his company while out of state. He is maintaining his place simply for her, and is regretting it. If it weren't for the baby in the picture- he has said she would be gone. He is worried that if he does make her leave, that it will look bad when custody does come up, being that she is pregnant.
that might actually help his case!
he can explain WHY he wants to kick her out...he can list all of the reasons that you have here AND more.
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