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Pikantari ~ to answer your questions, he has always questioned it but decieded he take care of him because he had bonded with him. When she filed for child support, he felt he needed to find out because the recommended child support amount was $750 per month. What he wanted to do was have the son (who is not biologically his) live with us (because that's what the son wants) and have her cancel her request for child support for the daughter. This way, they would each have a child to care for. The baby mama, said the son can live with us but she is not stopping the $500 child support order.
Trishguard ~ he didn't file for custody of his son because he isn't his and he'd need to adopt him. We talked to her about obtaining guardianship for him and she said no.
In the end, we could take him into our home and pay the child support, which would be a financial struggle.......if we went after her for child support for the son, she'd pull him out of our home immediately. What good will it be to uproot him from our home in a month or two? Of course the other issue is, he leaves for Nebraska on Thursday so we aren't sure how much progress he'd make in the process. It's a big old mess!!
Why would he need to adopt him if he is named on the birth certificate as the father? I've never heard of such a thing. The paternity test is meaningless as he has already assumed the responsiblity of fatherhood.
Evidently this woman is doing everything possible to stop from getting child support. Unfortunatly in these days and times.. in order for anything to happen you will need to get a lawyer.. that is the bottom line. She doesnt carry the law into her own hands and tells you if she is going to stop Child support or not.. the state does that..
Bring both of them to the house and of course you will struggle for a bit.. but sooner or later the courts will stop the child support payment (yeah I hate the way the government is in a hurry to get you paying and takes their sweet ass time in stopping it).
I dont see that you have any other choice.. if that is what you really want... and for the sake of the kids (or so it appears from your description of the lovely woman) they need to be out of that enviorment.
His son was born in california and when we requested the birth certificate, he was on it. But when the paternity test was completed it was not his. The courts only ordered child support for the daughter. If what you said Trishguard was true, don't you think they'd issue child support for both of children? The way I see it the birth certificate was 12 years ago and the paternity test was in August of 2008 so wouldn't that supercede the acceptance of being the father.
I am no lawyer (and I think you are going to need one) but I do think the paternity test certainly overrules the birth certificate. Since there is no court-ordered support for the boy, you certainly could go after support from her. But I doubt you'd get it. If she is as deadbeat as you say, all the court orders in the world won't do a thing. Nothing changes the fact that the girl is his daughter, and she needs all the support she can get, (having such a mother).
The boy only knows one father, and I think it would be incredibly cruel and damaging to turn the boy out. To send him back to the deadbeat mom would be a horrible thing to do...I don't care what the money situation is. You need to contact Legal Aid...as soon as possible. There is no excuse for not trying to do right by both of these children.
Facts:
2 children with her (12 year old son & 6 year old daughter)
Leaving for out of state job on Thursday
I agreed to care for his son while he was away
Daughter will continue living with her mother
Baby Mama, staying at a weekly and does the "disappearing act" too often
She recently requested child support (he'd only buy for the kids when they needed things and not give her cash) and well needless to say that can't support her drug or gambling habit. During this request, we found out his son is not his. His son wants to live with us (he just moved out in July after a year with us because she told him to) but she refuses to stop child support for his daughter.
My questions are:
How awful are we that we will not take him unless she does so?
Do you tell the child this?
Any suggestions?
I am no lawyer (and I think you are going to need one) but I do think the paternity test certainly overrules the birth certificate. Since there is no court-ordered support for the boy, you certainly could go after support from her. But I doubt you'd get it. If she is as deadbeat as you say, all the court orders in the world won't do a thing. Nothing changes the fact that the girl is his daughter, and she needs all the support she can get, (having such a mother).
The boy only knows one father, and I think it would be incredibly cruel and damaging to turn the boy out. To send him back to the deadbeat mom would be a horrible thing to do...I don't care what the money situation is. You need to contact Legal Aid...as soon as possible. There is no excuse for not trying to do right by both of these children.
I am not sure about that in Virginia...the laws have not caught up with technology and a few years back paternity was based on assumption of paternity IF the partners were married...does that make any sense at all? It is late and hard for me to follow my own post
I googled around and the laws in many states DO say that a subsequent DNA test does invalidate a birth certificate. In this case the state is CA, so she would need some guidance in that state's law.
Look at Anna Nicole Smith's daughter. Her birth certificate had Stern as the father. The paternity test proved otherwise, and was a complete reversal of both custody and money.
Still, in this case, I just can't see where it makes a difference for these poor kids.
I googled around and the laws in many states DO say that a subsequent DNA test does invalidate a birth certificate. In this case the state is CA, so she would need some guidance in that state's law.
Look at Anna Nicole Smith's daughter. Her birth certificate had Stern as the father. The paternity test proved otherwise, and was a complete reversal of both custody and money.
Still, in this case, I just can't see where it makes a difference for these poor kids.
Yes, I guess you are right...
Sorry to cause you to have to look it up...I should have done it before I posted
No worries...I had already done that. I'm surprised that she wouldn't have though. Google is our friend!
Sure hope they find some help though...I feel bad for the boy.
Such a shame...
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