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I have always thought it pretty sad that so few African-Americans actually get to enjoy the glory years of their 20s because they're saddled with all those out-of-wedlock children. It stems from a lack of self-respect I guess, but I just know that personally, I would never pro-create with a man who was not committed to me and who could not bankroll a family. My husband & I did marry young (in our early twenties), but we waited 8 years to start a family, and being a first-time Mom at 31 and while married is so much sweeter than trying to struggle as a young single-parent and date at the same time.
It's perfectly reasonable for you all who don't want a "ready-made" family, and good luck with all that but you may have to date out of the race in the end (I know I did, my hubby is white).
I have to agree with you on this. I used to advocate the "pro-life" mentality a bit more, without putting a whole lot of thought into it, and basically excepting those women who were raped or the pregnancy would otherwise pose a serious threat to their health (more so than a normal pregnancy). But the reality of the situation is people who can barely afford to live without kids should not be having kids in the first place, ESPECIALLY those who are on government assistance.
Abortion is not a fun option, but when it comes down to it, if you're not married and/or you can barely support yourself, it is a necessity. I don't care how much you want a baby, if you can't afford it/support it, you can't have one. If you're in that situation, get an abortion. Carrying to term and putting the baby up for adoption is not an option, there are already too many children out there waiting to be adopted to have you throwing another into the mix. Carrying to term and having the rest of the nation pay for your child and you is not an option. So to those who would say "taking a life is wrong no matter what"... which is more wrong, aborting a child that has no consciousness, or forcing the kid into a life of poverty where it will be starving for table scraps for the rest of it's life (that's called torture, by the way)?
You have no business asking for the rest of the nation to pay for your children. The woman with 14 kids should have a forced hysterectomy for the nonsense she's pulled.
I'm in the same boat as the OP, as is my brother halfway across the country. Trying to find an intelligent, single woman who has (at the very least) no kids and preferably never been married is like finding a needle in a haystack.
there are plenty of single parents out there. but the burden usually falls on the mother.
either way this may all have to do with the places you go. my younger friends (in thier 20's) seem to be mostly college educated and they dont have a problem finding women without children. of course they meet women and professional mixers and alumin events and such. so it could very well be the locations you choose.
its all about demographics.
dont fret they are out there. you just might not be lookin in the right places.
When I was young and in my 20's I dated men who wanted me to have their baby with no marriage ring attached. I stuck to my guns that I wouldn't have babies unless I was married. Now 7 months a newlywed at 40 and childless (hubby is 6 years younger), I wish I had popped out something a little earlier, because it may take longer for me to concieve if I can at all.
When I was young and in my 20's I dated men who wanted me to have their baby with no marriage ring attached. I stuck to my guns that I wouldn't have babies unless I was married. Now 7 months a newlywed at 40 and childless (hubby is 6 years younger), I wish I had popped out something a little earlier, because it may take longer for me to concieve if I can at all.
If you had done that, however, you might not have a husband now.
I think that the fact is 1/3 of all american girls by the age of 20 have been pregnant. I don't know how many decide to have the child. But yeah I see many women who are "hot" with children raising them on their own. Best you can do is give them number two to raise on their own
but for every single mom out there, isn't there a single dad out there
Yeah!!! For some reason people seem to forget it takes two to tango. It's just that more often than not, the mother has full custody because the men are busy putting their horses in other stables.
If you had done that, however, you might not have a husband now.
So you're saying that a woman is penalized if she's single with a child.
Because I get the impression that you would prefer to date a woman without a "ready made" family. I don't blame you, I didn't really enjoy dating men who had children, and I rarely did.
Do men suffer the same consequences? I don't think they do because society doesn't force men to stand up to the responsibility of being a father to a child of a broken relationship when they father children out of wedlock do they?
When I was young and in my 20's I dated men who wanted me to have their baby with no marriage ring attached. I stuck to my guns that I wouldn't have babies unless I was married. Now 7 months a newlywed at 40 and childless (hubby is 6 years younger), I wish I had popped out something a little earlier, because it may take longer for me to concieve if I can at all.
I didn't know of too many guys who wanted kids in theri 20s w/o being married. There were a few that used that line...
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It's just that more often than not, the mother has full custody because the men are busy putting their horses in other stables. 
