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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck Of course its a shared responsibility. However, somebody has to start saying no and its much easier for women to do this.
Were these women raped? Its not a requirement that women provide sex to men.
I think the issue is the amount of thought and planning that goes into this.
Did she:
1) get an education, find a reasonable guy, get married, have a child and then the marriage disintegrated?
2) find a likely "target", lure him into marriage, have a child and find they were in over their heads. He bolted.
3) find a likely "target", have a child to lure him into marriage, and find they were in over their heads. He bolted.
4) live with a guy and have a child because "it will solidify their relationship." He bolted.
5) just want a child because all her friends have one.
I'm sure with enough time I could come up with at least a dozen discreet scenarios. However, the point I am making is there is a responsibility one must have for oneself. I have a lot of sympathy for those in scenario 1, despite the fact that they often, to some extent, had blinders on. But many women would just like to blame men almost exclusively for all these situations.
However, as one goes down the list, the guys responsibility becomes more of a legal one and less of a moral failing. I thought the women's movement would get this essential information through to women but instead, it just served to make bad decision making more palatable and no longer looked down on.
My issue is with your choices of words: it's easier for women, someone has to start saying no. Men are perfectly capable of saying no. It's not a requirement that single men get laid, and if they're tired of all the single moms out there, maybe they could keep it in their pants once in a while. It's no easier for us to stay away from temptation than it is for men, no matter what excuses you seem to be telling yourself.
My issue is with your choices of words: it's easier for women, someone has to start saying no. Men are perfectly capable of saying no. It's not a requirement that single men get laid, and if they're tired of all the single moms out there, maybe they could keep it in their pants once in a while. It's no easier for us to stay away from temptation than it is for men, no matter what excuses you seem to be telling yourself.
The real journey to a better place must be undertaken by you. Too many women expect that the only way that things will improve is if men change but they have absolutely no control over their behavior. IMHO, the women's movement has stalled on this very point. Besides, women in general, do everything to ensure that the most irresponsible men have no reason to change.
If you are offering sex to get a relationship, do you expect the men who turn you down will end up in one? No, they'll end up old and single.
Becoming a single parent is not a question of intelligence. I am college educated. The freedom of raising my baby the right way is so much more important and rewarding to me than following my career right now. Being a Good Mother Or Father should be respected, it is honorable and hardest jobs there is. There is no course in college that teaches you how to be a good parent, If you were a parent you would understand!! I chose not to follow A career as of now. I want to nurture my child until the recommended age and hours that my angel should spend in a daycare. Children do not have enough family time nowadays. They are abused in day cares, molested in church. Her life and her success in life comes before mine. giving birth, watching her grow and learn. her first foot step has been a thousand times more rewarding to me than receiving my college degree. people make the decision to follow their dreams of money and success, that's there choice. becoming a single parent is nothing to do with not making the right choices in life. I have no regrets!
I'm interested in your decision. Did you have a child with no plan to get married?Could you not attract a man who was sufficiently attractive to you? Did you go after the father for support? What were the factors that motivated you the most to choose the father for your child? Did he know that you were using him to have a child? Did he agree or like your decision?
Sometimes I just feel that I am so old fashion and out of date that such arrangements could be from another planet!
We, as women, need to respect and protect ourselves more than we do.
In 2009, with ALL of the birth control options available, there is absolutely no reason that a woman should have children out of wedlock.
The only types of single moms should be either divorced or widowed.
Personally I think it is most likely easier to parent when one has a partner but I do not necessarily believe women should only be divorced or widowed to be single parents. Marriage is not the cure all and does not necessarily make adults better parents.
A single parent who CHOOSES to be single has my blessing as any other good parent does. The lack of a marriage does not disqualify them as good parents.
So what about women who don't believe in marriage? Should they be forbidden to have children? There are people out there who don't need to be married in order to be in a secure relationship. Not everyone dreams about a white wedding dress and a picket fence. As a feminist I support the fact that we all have choices, whether I agree with them or not. I'm not so presumptuous to tell people how they shouldl I've and what kind of choices they should make regarding THEIR lives.
So what about women who don't believe in marriage? Should they be forbidden to have children?
If they can support them by themselves, why not? Its not the optimum situation but with so many marriages failing, it has to be as good and perhaps better.
Just don't sue for child support or denigrate men for not supporting you.
Men are perfectly capable of saying no. It's not a requirement that single men get laid, and if they're tired of all the single moms out there, maybe they could keep it in their pants once in a while.
In a perfect (feminist) world. There are men like that out there but they die single and childless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
It's no easier for us to stay away from temptation than it is for men, no matter what excuses you seem to be telling yourself.
Quite true but use birth control, avail yourself of an abortion or put the child up for adoption if you cannot live with the decision to keep it. The men who get you pregnant obviously don't care.
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