Too many single women in their 20's with kids (marriages, child support, divorced)

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by Rebecca the caged

Really I think its the men to blame a lot of the time. To be a single mother is not something I think many women chose, but rather the men who bail out when reality hits or just plain refuse to take responsibility when times get tough. I would never hide the fact that I have a beautiful baby girl who's about to turn One year old tomorrow. Yes it takes two to tango, but more often then not I believe it's the women who wants the "white picket fence dream", And the man who will get engaged insist on being together forever until it comes time to change a diaper. Being a single mother takes an enormous amount of strength. It is a huge problem how many women are single mothers because the men didn't learn responsibility, not because the women was careless.

GREAT post! Kids are a huge reality check in a marriage. Lack of sleep, lack of sex, lack of money....all stress a relationship.

I tried to find some single-parents support group here in town but they are ALL aimed at moms it seems.

[Rebecca the caged]

Originally Posted by curliq

Wow! I feel really bad for these women, regardless of how they came about their "single w/child" fate. 80% of my female friends, in their 20-30s, are single professionals with NO children (and only one divorcee in the bunch) and they are having a hellish time in the dating pool - so I can't imagine what these single moms are dealing with!

For over ten years my birth control has not failed me once - but if this ever happens while I'm unmarried: abortion abortion abortion.

There is over a 50% chance even if you were married it would end in divorce anyways. It would be to late to kill your baby then. Don't pity me as a single mother. Dating is not the center of my life nor should it be for any women. I didn't lower my standards as far as men I would go out with, actually I raised them. Marriage is a pretty dream, so is having an abortion and never guessing what that life you killed might have been like when you grow to old to conceive and still haven't found the right man to marry

[Rebecca the caged]

The child is the one who suffers. Growing up without a mother or a father figure has most likely led to this trend. I wish my daughter had a responsible father figure. Children learn by example. I just wish I knew what to tell her when she asks about where her daddy is?

[NotARedneck]

Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
Of course its a shared responsibility. However, somebody has to start saying no and its much easier for women to do this.

Originally Posted by JustJulia

Really? Why's that?

Were these women raped? Its not a requirement that women provide sex to men.

I think the issue is the amount of thought and planning that goes into this.

Did she:

1) get an education, find a reasonable guy, get married, have a child and then the marriage disintegrated?

2) find a likely "target", lure him into marriage, have a child and find they were in over their heads. He bolted.

3) find a likely "target", have a child to lure him into marriage, and find they were in over their heads. He bolted.

4) live with a guy and have a child because "it will solidify their relationship." He bolted.

5) just want a child because all her friends have one.

I'm sure with enough time I could come up with at least a dozen discreet scenarios. However, the point I am making is there is a responsibility one must have for oneself. I have a lot of sympathy for those in scenario 1, despite the fact that they often, to some extent, had blinders on. But many women would just like to blame men almost exclusively for all these situations.

However, as one goes down the list, the guys responsibility becomes more of a legal one and less of a moral failing. I thought the women's movement would get this essential information through to women but instead, it just served to make bad decision making more palatable and no longer looked down on.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by curliq

For over ten years my birth control has not failed me once - but if this ever happens while I'm unmarried: abortion abortion abortion.

I hope your attitude towards abortion isn't as casual as your post suggests. I'm pro-choice, but I think abortion should be a last resort. I don't believe in using it as a form of birth control or a backup when traditional birth control fails.

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by curliq

80% of my female friends, in their 20-30s, are single professionals with NO children (and only one divorcee in the bunch) and they are having a hellish time in the dating pool.

For over ten years my birth control has not failed me once - but if this ever happens while I'm unmarried: abortion abortion abortion.

The world really has turned upside down in the past 3 decades. This used to be the fate of many guys who put a lot into getting an education and building a career. Now that there are 2 women on campus for every man, the roles have reversed.

Its funny how the same attributes that focus one on making something of themself, are also those that keep one from becoming a single parent. And more often than not, never a parent.

[VegasGrace]

Originally Posted by Pimpy

I just need to vent a little frustration. I am out in the dating game giving 100% just like most single guys in their mid-20's, but I have hit a rut lately where every attractive, single woman I meet has at LEAST one kid and was never married to the father.

Don't get me wrong. I love kids and want to have a family of my own someday. If I were in my 40's and still single, I would accept the fact that there probably aren't going to be too many childless women in my dating pool. But at 26, I'm just not ready for a ready-made family.

So here is my question. Doesn't ANYONE wait to get MARRIED before they have babies anymore? Mitt Romney caught some flack for saying basically the same thing at CPAC last year, but the man is right. Take it from a 26-year-old male who is tired of his dating pool being saturated with kids. Time for the lifeguard to blow the whistle for adults-only swim.

End rant.

You are not alone, there are too many young single parents out there. And many women don't want to get into a 'ready-made' family....there are so many single fathers out there. You see the moms while the women see the fathers. So you are not alone...guys and gals don't want it.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by VegasGrace

You are not alone, there are too many young single parents out there. And many women don't want to get into a 'ready-made' family....there are so many single fathers out there. You see the moms while the women see the fathers. So you are not alone...guys and gals don't want it.

Not all of us are scared off by single parents.

[Rebecca the caged]

Originally Posted by NotARedneck

Its funny how the same attributes that focus one on making something of themself, are also those that keep one from becoming a single parent. And more often than not, never a parent.

Becoming a single parent is not a question of intelligence. I am college educated. The freedom of raising my baby the right way is so much more important and rewarding to me than following my career right now. Being a Good Mother Or Father should be respected, it is honorable and hardest jobs there is. There is no course in college that teaches you how to be a good parent, If you were a parent you would understand!! I chose not to follow A career as of now. I want to nurture my child until the recommended age and hours that my angel should spend in a daycare. Children do not have enough family time nowadays. They are abused in day cares, molested in church. Her life and her success in life comes before mine. giving birth, watching her grow and learn. her first foot step has been a thousand times more rewarding to me than receiving my college degree. people make the decision to follow their dreams of money and success, that's there choice. becoming a single parent is nothing to do with not making the right choices in life. I have no regrets!

[the one]

i also forgot to mention thatalong with my younger(20's) friends. my other younger friends (30's) also find women without children. but then again those are also the ones that dont want kids or are still "waiting".

there out there tho.