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Great post OP. I agree with you, and I do not know why. What surprises me most is that most of them have more then one kid by the the time they are 25.I also see this as a huge problem in the black community. For me it seems that every fine black woman I meet around my age group, they are single and intelligent I guess, the problem is they have at least one child from a previous relationship.
I do not understand what is going on with teenagers these days to go out and decide to start popping out babies at a young age. Adolescents ladies out there, men would do anything and say anything just to get you in bed, understand that and stop opening your legs.
I see it all the time, young girl gets knocked up, the guy of their dreams leaves them, they go through a period of depression but ultimately find out it is great gift to have a child, they get back on track and when they try to go back on the dating scene they do not realize it is a turnoff for most men who are educated.
Ironically most of the woman I have encountered who happen to be single mothers are strong and that is probably because they want to make their lives much better for their own children.
but for every single mom out there, isn't there a single dad out there
I wish I could rep you!
----
I'm no fan of unwed mothers myself, but I'm also not a fan of deadbeat dads who stupidly knock women up and shuck responsibility.
Why doesn't anyone make a thread about them? Oh I know why....because then men will say women only like those "bad boys" and not the "nice guys". Always the women's fault
I'm a women and would NEVER have a child out of wedlock even though I was sexually active 15 years s prior to getting married. As a woman, I had and have the right to choose and I chose to not get pregnant. It was really easy. Took one pill a day and never forgot to take it. Now it's even easier with the implanted hormones or patches that are available. If I were a man, I would not want to deal with child, their father or lack of one, and all of that "baggage". The ideal is to marry someone and start a family together. Having unprotected sex is playing "Russian Roulette" and if a woman chooses to take that risk, fine. But if I were a guy, I would not venture there. I would read that as either she doesn't value fatherhood and chose a man to sleep with that is absentee. Therefore, she's not a good judge of character and slept with someone that she didn't know too well OR in this day and age, she failed to protect herself from pregnancy; something that is very easy to do.
When did parents stop teaching their daughters (and sons) to respect themselves and their bodies.
I am not that old (30s) but I remember that girls could not be pregnant at school (they would be expelled). And guys that got a girl pregnant was ostercized.
Now, the high schools build Daycare Centers right there on campus! I kid you not.
I just need to vent a little frustration. I am out in the dating game giving 100% just like most single guys in their mid-20's, but I have hit a rut lately where every attractive, single woman I meet has at LEAST one kid and was never married to the father.
Don't get me wrong. I love kids and want to have a family of my own someday. If I were in my 40's and still single, I would accept the fact that there probably aren't going to be too many childless women in my dating pool. But at 26, I'm just not ready for a ready-made family.
So here is my question. Doesn't ANYONE wait to get MARRIED before they have babies anymore? Mitt Romney caught some flack for saying basically the same thing at CPAC last year, but the man is right. Take it from a 26-year-old male who is tired of his dating pool being saturated with kids. Time for the lifeguard to blow the whistle for adults-only swim.
End rant.
if you don't mind me popping in with my input on this:
you, or anyone else in your position with your viewpoint, would do well to add an additional factor to both your viewpoint and your search:
in addition to what you've already said, ask (or find out) why...
I mean I've seen the full range--
girls/women who simply took the option of being 'single mothers' as a "personal lifestyle choice;"
those who may have wanted to get married but the guys ran out on them;
those who got pregnant by married men;
etc. etc. etc.
so if you're looking for a quality person, the reasons why they're single mothers is even more relevant than the fact that they are.
well, that's my opinion anyway.
Now, the high schools build Daycare Centers right there on campus! I kid you not.
yep, this person ^ is stating a fact.
I'd never seen it before I came to this locale.
in addition, in most cases the girls' parents/mothers encourage them to remain single.
If I were a man, I would not want to deal with child, their father or lack of one, and all of that "baggage". The ideal is to marry someone and start a family together.
Wow, it's great to hear this perspective coming from a woman. That "level" of baggage is downplayed, yet it is fairly significant. As if the difficulties between making two personalities work, prior to children, is easy. Thanks for the empathetic point of view.
Yeah, I'm going to the South in 6 months or so and I'm kind of scared about this. Seems too many Southern girls get married early and have children early, then get divorced by 25 and are ready for the second go-around.
Fortunately more women are willing to marry up in age, so hopefully in my 30s I can find some woman in her late 20s who isn't a divorced mother!
Wow, it's great to hear this perspective coming from a woman. That "level" of baggage is downplayed, yet it is fairly significant. As if the difficulties between making two personalities work, prior to children, is easy. Thanks for the empathetic point of view.
You do realize, of course, it cuts both ways.
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