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For those who were questioning my motives, I was just venting out my frustrations and seeking out advice..and for those who offered constructive critism..Thank you.
Some of us just don't have that friend attracting personality type, When looking back on the friends I got and have had, all of them are people who I have went to school with or went to the same team as in a sport.
With other words they are all people who got to know me wether they liked it or not, and we eventually became friends.
Otherwise I think people see me as grumpy or something, I've even heard I look "dangerous" or "criminal" though some of my friends in high school called me the "Teddy bear" because of my way of being caring towards friends etc.
I'm also bored at clubs, bars etc since I barely drink and hate dancing.
I'm also not much of a talker, which doesn't make things better.
So now that I'm moving to my sisters place for 6 months until I go to college which is very far from Stockholm where I lived for 11 years, I don't have very high expectations of making a very wide social circle, I'm basicly in the same situation as the OP I guess.
But then again I'm usually more of a lonewolf anyway...
I see what you're saying and I try not to do that but it becomes hard when your all/most of your peers are getting married, starting families, moving..basically starting out the next chapters in their lives
Be careful...I have a couple gal friends who felt that way. One 'got' pregnant, the other rushed into a marriage. 5 years later over some cocktails (separately) both acknowledged it was really foolish to try and 'keep up with everyone else', and should have just lived their lives.
Be careful...I have a couple gal friends who felt that way. One 'got' pregnant, the other rushed into a marriage. 5 years later over some cocktails (separately) both acknowledged it was really foolish to try and 'keep up with everyone else', and should have just lived their lives.
Thats some really good advice, I lost my virginity to not slip behind, which was of course a very wrong reason.
For those who were questioning my motives, I was just venting out my frustrations and seeking out advice..and for those who offered constructive critism..Thank you.
And to add to the mix, I couldn't agree more with the general advice given to you. People come and people go in your life. Life is a never-ending experience. More often than not, people's lives change quite drastically from one decade to the next.
The people that you knew and were best friends with when you were young don't remain the same over time (as neither do you, hopefully!) Life is ALL about change and growth.
As much as you seem to envy those who have married or are getting married, have had children or are expecting children, check back with them 15 years from now and see if the dream still relates.
Given the high divorce rate, it's a pretty good bet that 50% of those apparently idyllic couples will be divorced by then, 30% will be in stagnant marital relationships based on financial issues, 15% will be unhappy but simply "getting by for the sake of the kids," 2% may be single after losing a spouse due to accident or illness and MAYBE 3% might still be very happily married and have remained well satisfied with each other.
I'm not being a doomsayer but the general statistics are irrefutable.
Look at it this way - you're one little speck of sand on a huge beach. Your existence is really so inconsequential and so short. The very MOST you can do in your short time is to basically obey the 10 commandments.
Coming from someone like me who's probably a basic atheist and possibly an agnostic might seem odd. Labels have never appealed to me but those 10 commandments are simply basic life rules.
You need to find out who YOU are instead of comparing yourself to your peers, i.e. the general herd. Good luck and cheers!
It's easier said than done, at 25 most of the new people I come into contact with or more than likely going to fall into the associates category since most people have their set group of friends by that age already. What makes it worse is that the one going out of the country is someone that I am in love with (my ex).
I agree that as you get older it gets harder to get a close knit group of friends....but not impossible. Everybody doesnt have a tight clique I mean you can hang with your associates and still talk to your close friend about personal things. Its not like you can never talk to your firend again..Im sure they will get in cantact alot at first because they will be alone as well. Get out there have fun and you'll meet new ppl. Maybe you will meet a special someone and you wont be single anymore. Who knows? And you certainly wont know until you get out there and try!!! Good luck~!
For those who were questioning my motives, I was just venting out my frustrations and seeking out advice..and for those who offered constructive critism..Thank you.
I totally understand where you are coming from...I recently filed for divorce and have been in this city for 4 years...but I hardly know anyone.
I find it difficult to make friends even though everyone tells me I am friendly. Everyone at work is married, I am not the bar and club type, I am trying to join groups but they meet during my excercise classes, and I have a little one to take care of.
In social situations I am shy which I think people interpert as stuck up. Everyone my age group is married-the women don't see anything in common with me and never include me in their outings. I live in the burs as a single mom is not easy.
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