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This is somewhat of a convoluted question, but it's been a topic I've been pondering for quite some time.
Do you support your spouse's passion/ goal in life, even if it means something that you cannot be a part of (either due to your own reasonings, or because you are not a member of the entity in which he/she is involved in)? I mean, "ideally", you would support your spouse's passion no matter what, right?
However, I've seen married couples that have been together for 20+ years that not only NOT give a rats' a$$ about what the spouse is really into in his/ her life, but the "non chalant" spouse would also choose to "not hear about it". This negativity in a marriage... how "common" is it?
My wifes passion in her life appears to be her work. That is where all her energy goes. There isn't much left after that. Do I support it, yes. But it would be nice if there were some left to spread around.
Do you support your spouse's passion/ goal in life, even if it means something that you cannot be a part of (either due to your own reasonings, or because you are not a member of the entity in which he/she is involved in)?
Absolutely. We both have several passions/goals in our lives. Some we share, others we support.
We like the same cars and most of the same motorsports. We have autocrossed together. He's done some rallies and supermotard events as a driver/rider and I've been his support team, hauling around the tools, extra parts and tanks of gas. His new love is his dirt bike, I support his interest but have no desire to ride one. He is supportive of my love for my antique collecting and my dogs.
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I mean, "ideally", you would support your spouse's passion no matter what, right?
Well if I didn't support his passions, it would probably mean that I was NOT totally in love with him. I reserve the right to disagree with his passions and opinions. However, part of choosing the right lifemate is finding someone that is on the same wavelength. Not being on the same wavelength is a sure recipe for a divorce later on.
If I had a crush on a man just because he was hot looking, but his brain and mine weren't on the same wavelength, I would not get involved with him, not even if he was crushing on me back.
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However, I've seen married couples that have been together for 20+ years that not only NOT give a rats' a$$ about what the spouse is really into in his/ her life, but the "non chalant" spouse would also choose to "not hear about it". This negativity in a marriage... how "common" is it?
I think this scenario is very common. Some couple rationalize that there is "guy stuff" and "girl stuff", and never the twain shall meet. Having an initial sexual attraction in the beginning, marrying, then producing kids together and eventually drifting apart as they get older seems to be acceptable for many couples, but that sounds like a hideous life to me. Like Ralph Kramden and his wife Alice in the Honeymooners tv show, or Archie Bunker and his wife Edith. Ewww.
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