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I know being sick adds to mine, I cant get out as much. I can still walk, but if weather is bad I cant breathe and I tire easily. I even had an art show in absentia, the other night, due to health problems. It was successful, sold some stuff.
My life seems to have ended up being this most horribly disconnected life possible.
I had tons of friends in old town, but town died due to economics. Everyone has moved away and live spread out, far and wide. I can drive and do not have money to visit people.
I am going to be divorced, scary proposition, when I do not have any friends right here by my side.
It really really sucks to bethis old and NOT know where to go, and NOT know where one's HOME IS.
I would join an intentional community, if I was healthy, I am so tired of being alone.
I HAVE friends, but they ALL LIVE FAR AWAY and EVERYONE LIVES SPREAD APART. I keep in contact with a dozen people or more.
{saw best friend from college 22 year old friendship two weeks ago for 4 days first time in 2 years}
I am so tired of seeing back end of people, and just having no one around me and having to meet new people. It has worn me out. Seeing an entire town vanish, church included messed with my mind.
There seems to be no home no connection.
Most of my social life is lived via computer andphone. I have close friends, Ive talked to for 12 years, Ive never seen.
When friend was here, I almost cried, because just having someone to talk to in person [that wasnt crazy unlike husband] was just wonderous.
Disconnection really can get to people. Does anyone feel this way. Kind of like modern society has taken everyone from you, and everyone you know lives too far away or has had to move away.
About 5 years ago, I decided to retire early. I was only 55 at that time but my husband made enough money so we could do this. I was fed up with the work world, having a boss who just wouldn't listen and was irresponsible got to me. I worked for a little while part time from home but soon tired of that at age 60. That same year at age 60, I was diagnosed with an upper aortic aneurysm, something that could have killed me as there are no symptoms..no pain, no shortness of breath...nothing except getting totally zapped in 20 seconds had it not been found. Yup, scared the crap out of me.
So.........now I am bedridden for months, tired alot of the time and frustrated because although my WHOLE family lives here in town...no one came to see my..maybe one visit from each of them. OH..they were scared to death when they all found out that this aneurysm thing is hereditary and were all over me for details...once I was ok...they were ok and bailed on me. Hurtful? Yup. Did it make me lonely, NOPE...I had kept a lot of my friends from my "work days" and have a friend close to retirement so we do now spend a lot of time shopping, going out for lunch, etc.
My concern reading your post is that you do sound very depressed and if you are, this will compound your feelings of lonliness. You need to talk to a doctor about how you are feeling and there is medication that will give you a whole new perspective on life.
I too spend some time on the computer talking with people and as a matter of fact have made a nice new friend in Pennsylvania by joining Facebook. She mistakenly thought I was a different Pam she knew and now we chat regularly. I look forward to hearing from her.
We all have to get old. Things do change and sometimes the changes will make you sad and sometimes happy...life goes up, down, around and at times will blow wide open. You can't and should not EVER let life get you before you are ready to be Gotten! Make that trip to the doctor and tell him/her how you have been feeling.
And...........don't feel lonely...see, you got me to send you a note and I do care!
Wow am sorry you had that aortic aneurysm. I understand being bedridden for months, that happened to me. Being sick, the world is totally different. I am glad you have a lot of friends from your work days and see people know. I think when people do get desperately ill, some people do get scared, so understand that but it doesnt make it easier from this side.
I do have friends, but just miss them all. That is sadness. That is hard thing. I am looking into treatment for depression now and they have told me thyroid is bad again, which always makes me more depressed by far. I have a bucketload of internet friends but never mind adding a new one...
I feel that in current society, fewer and fewer people know how to enjoy their own company. Then they see everyone else yakking away on their cellphones, or if they are on MySpace or Facebook, there is a pressure to have a large social network. These days, everyone wants to be popular or someone's BFF.
I love my own company. I enjoy solitary times in my day and life. Usually, I am so exhausted from being outgoing towards the guests and my co-workers at my part time job, that being at home alone is a welcome relief and a recharging time for me. I keep in touch with my close friends mostly by email, and try to see them in person a few times a year. The person I see most is my boyfriend.
I'm sorry about the troubles you're having in life, but Loneliness is not the result of modern society, but rather the failure of people to remain in touch.
Last time I heard, the phones are still working. You're using the Internet, so that means you have access to e-mail. The fact that you've lost touch with all these people is as incumbent on you as it is on them.
I don't mean to harsh on you here, because I'm actually sympathetic. At the same time, nurturing friendships and relationships is work, and I'm guessing that you haven't done your part. And being sick isn't what's standing in your way.
So do yourself a favor and start picking up the phone.
Uh no not really, I struggle with boredom. A lot of people are just very boring and simple and live in their own heads most of the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WheredoIlive?
Does anyone here struggle with severe lonlieness?
I know being sick adds to mine, I cant get out as much. I can still walk, but if weather is bad I cant breathe and I tire easily. I even had an art show in absentia, the other night, due to health problems. It was successful, sold some stuff.
My life seems to have ended up being this most horribly disconnected life possible.
I had tons of friends in old town, but town died due to economics. Everyone has moved away and live spread out, far and wide. I can drive and do not have money to visit people.
I am going to be divorced, scary proposition, when I do not have any friends right here by my side.
It really really sucks to bethis old and NOT know where to go, and NOT know where one's HOME IS.
I would join an intentional community, if I was healthy, I am so tired of being alone.
I HAVE friends, but they ALL LIVE FAR AWAY and EVERYONE LIVES SPREAD APART. I keep in contact with a dozen people or more.
{saw best friend from college 22 year old friendship two weeks ago for 4 days first time in 2 years}
I am so tired of seeing back end of people, and just having no one around me and having to meet new people. It has worn me out. Seeing an entire town vanish, church included messed with my mind.
There seems to be no home no connection.
Most of my social life is lived via computer andphone. I have close friends, Ive talked to for 12 years, Ive never seen.
When friend was here, I almost cried, because just having someone to talk to in person [that wasnt crazy unlike husband] was just wonderous.
Disconnection really can get to people. Does anyone feel this way. Kind of like modern society has taken everyone from you, and everyone you know lives too far away or has had to move away.
Instead of focusing on the negative, why don't we assume the OP did do his or her part to keep in touch.
I personally find that people these days want others to jump through hoops and hurdles in order to maintain friendships. I refuse to do that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
I'm sorry about the troubles you're having in life, but Loneliness is not the result of modern society, but rather the failure of people to remain in touch.
Last time I heard, the phones are still working. You're using the Internet, so that means you have access to e-mail. The fact that you've lost touch with all these people is as incumbent on you as it is on them.
I don't mean to harsh on you here, because I'm actually sympathetic. At the same time, nurturing friendships and relationships is work, and I'm guessing that you haven't done your part. And being sick isn't what's standing in your way.
So do yourself a favor and start picking up the phone.
I think the internet, these kind of forums, emails, texting, etc. can become a substitution for real life for some people, but that doesn't seem to be your problem. You have a health problem, and that limits your ability to interact with real people. In your case, I'd say you're better off than someone in your situation would have been say, fifty years ago. You say you had an art show, so you are a visual artist, which by necessity keeps you in the house more than most avocations would. Do you live in a rural area? I never have, but have always wondered how severe loneliness would get if you couldn't walk out your front door and see people, cars, civilization. If my assumption as to your environment is correct, ever think of moving to a city, even a town?
Health permitting, you just need to connect with people. You may be lonely, but you are not alone. Many others have a void in their lives, and you just might be able to fill some. Find places with people who have a common interest. Good luck.
I'm sorry about the troubles you're having in life, but Loneliness is not the result of modern society, but rather the failure of people to remain in touch.
I can't say that I completely agree. Your statement is like saying "People are poor because they don't have any money." On the surface, who can argue but there are the real reasons behind this.
Modern society tends to isolate people who don't fit in easily or have burdens that prevent staying in touch.
Many lonely people are elderly who are either ill or caring for an ill spouse. Often they have little support, since family can either be far away or uncaring. Activities that once got them involved are no longer possible.
Many younger people have a difficult time finding acceptance with others. People are very judgmental and will not associate with those they consider unattractive. This can be overcome to an extent by getting involved in activities but even then, such people can be shunted to the margins, or worse, used for what people can get out of them.
When people stayed close to the place of their birth, this was far less of a factor. Now days, people who move ofter or later in life can find it very difficult to reconnect.
I've seen plenty of examples of this. To date, it hasn't affected me, but its a worry, as one ages and has little or no support.
I can't say that I completely agree. Your statement is like saying "People are poor because they don't have any money." On the surface, who can argue but there are the real reasons behind this.
Modern society tends to isolate people who don't fit in easily or have burdens that prevent staying in touch.
Many lonely people are elderly who are either ill or caring for an ill spouse. Often they have little support, since family can either be far away or uncaring. Activities that once got them involved are no longer possible.
Many younger people have a difficult time finding acceptance with others. People are very judgmental and will not associate with those they consider unattractive. This can be overcome to an extent by getting involved in activities but even then, such people can be shunted to the margins, or worse, used for what people can get out of them.
When people stayed close to the place of their birth, this was far less of a factor. Now days, people who move ofter or later in life can find it very difficult to reconnect.
I've seen plenty of examples of this. To date, it hasn't affected me, but its a worry, as one ages and has little or no support.
I understand your point, but I don't blame it. Blaming loneliness today on modern life is a complete cop-out. Friendships, whether you're 9 or 90, require nurturing. They are fragile things that die from inattention.
Today there are more ways to stay in touch with others than ever in the history of mankind, and more easily than ever. Heck, I stay in touch with people I worked with 30 years ago. All it takes is the occasional e-mail that says, "Sam! How have you been?"
Just last Wednesday, after several people requested I do so, I got a Facebook account. Today, voila! I have 48 friends, some of whom I had lost contact with, all in a matter of 5 days.
Now you do raise an issue with the elderly and infirm. Yet, based on my time working with retirement communities, I've encountered and interviewed any number of residents who have managed to stay in close touch with friends and family from around the country, even if they are too feeble to leave their room. My grandfather, a sociable cat if ever there was one, had a bevy of friends until his death at 88, even though he was in a retirement community for several years.
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Loneliness result of modern society
