Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But the false mother before King Solomon was not a crazy B.
My son did as you suggested Redisca. The kids to this day are being used by her as pawns to get attention, control, revenge. She laughs that he will have to kiss her bum until the kids are of legal age. They would have been better off going thu a yr. of torment then 18 yrs of torment.
I'll respectfully disagree with you here. Many of these men resent paying child support and then having little or no visitation with their children let alone any say in how they are raised. The court system has an active interest in destroying families and removing the non custodial parent from the family. Most states receive federal money based on how much child support they collect.
The median child support award in the United States is $280 per month. (Where I live, that won't pay even for a week's worth of daycare.) The custodial parent pays most of the costs of raising the child and does most of the work. As to visitation, the only people who are denied it are those proven to be abusive. Are there good parents who get it wrongfully denied? Sure -- but in the overwhelming majority of cases, there is a pretty good reason to keep the parent away from the child. Also, a child isn't a car or a home -- you don't pay to "use" the child; so whether or not you get visitation, if you are a parent, you are obligated to contribute to the child's financial welfare. These men who "resent" paying child support -- are you saying they'd be a little happier if they didn't have to pay anything? Wonderful dads, indeed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubyanumberone
Joint custody needs to be the starting point in divorce negotiations. Both parents have a right and the obligation to be involved in their children's lives.
Except that only one parent has primary custody -- which means that when there is joint legal custody, that gives the parent who doesn't live the kid the power to make and enforce decisions the consequences of which will be born primarily by the other parent. Thus, the parent without primary custody can abuse the decree to control, pressure, etc. his or her former spouse without any discernible benefit to the child (in fact, in ways contrary to the child's interests.) Joint custody naturally lends itself to more abuse than other arrangements.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubyanumberone
We need to take a hard look at no fault divorce also. People should have the freedom to leave but I feel it's morally wrong to allow someone to get "bored" and basically boot their spouse and collect alimony, take the home, take their retirement. This seems to be very common among women nowadays. They get "bored" and need a badboy and the husband gets the boot along with a huge alimony/child support bill.
No-fault divorce allows for more amicable and dignified proceedings. Just because someone says they are "bored" in the pleadings doesn't mean that it's what actually caused the marriage to break up. People hesitate to allege abuse, infidelity, mental illness, alcoholism, or that their dearly beloveds have daily called them names for the past 10 years, when they have the option of simply saying they want out without providing a reason. Doing so also avoids the danger of antagonizing the defendant by allegations of fault. Since marital fault is not a consideration for determining matters of asset division and (usually) child custody and support, it makes sense NOT to allege misconduct -- even if it actually occurred -- when you don't have to. New York is probably the strictest of the "fault" states -- and the one famous for having the nastiest, most protracted and most expensive divorces.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubyanumberone
Men are no better and have done the mid life crisis thing with their secretary since the beginning of time. The difference is that men have always been punished finacially by the court for behaving in this manner. Women can bail and still cash in. For every Kevin Federline there are 100 Heather Mills.
Not true. Until the late 1960's, men were never punished for behaving in this manner. The wife was basically kicked to the curb. Laws regarding equitable distribution and community property are actually a recent phenomenon, and were enacted in response to the problem of middle-aged and elderly women becoming destitute when their husbands cast them out in favor of trophy wives. As for "cashing in", not ever man is Kevin Federline. Oh, I'll stipulate that you are Kevin Federline, as well as every man on the Internet. But out in the real world, divorces generally have the effect of lowering women's economic status and favoring the men's.
^^^ Redisca, when a trust is involved, is it not the trusts benefactor that decides the executor of the trust until the child is old enough to receive the funds? I know that a childs bank account can have only one adult on the account and that account is essentially "owned", if you will, by the adult until the child reaches adulthood...
As to visitation, the only people who are denied it are those proven to be abusive.
True, but the custodial parent can refuse visitation and nothing is done. Get an attorney ($$$$$$$$$$), wait for court date, custodial parent found in contempt, told by judge to let parent see children. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
But the false mother before King Solomon was not a crazy B.
I disagree. Consenting to splitting a child in half definitely counts as crazy in my book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
My son did as you suggested Redisca. The kids to this day are being used by her as pawns to get attention, control, revenge. She laughs that he will have to kiss her bum until the kids are of legal age. They would have been better off going thu a yr. of torment then 18 yrs of torment.
Well, to some extent it depends on the circumstances, but for what it's worth, a friend of mine did as I suggested -- and less than a year later, the ex-wife voluntarily gave up custody to him. Couldn't hack it. Now he has the kids, and she pays child support. And he kept the house. So all in all, he came out on top. There are certain advantages to having visitation and not custody. The custodial parent is the one who has to discipline children, tell them to brush their teeth, do their homework and pick up their clothes. The non-custodial parent is more likely to be the "fun" parent.
True, but the custodial parent can refuse visitation and nothing is done. Get an attorney ($$$$$$$$$$), wait for court date, custodial parent found in contempt, told by judge to let parent see children. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Well, perhaps in Tennessee people practice law with their left feet. Around here, "contempt" means at least a fine; and repeated interference with visitation leads to a loss of custody.
^^^ Redisca, when a trust is involved, is it not the trusts benefactor that decides the executor of the trust until the child is old enough to receive the funds? I know that a childs bank account can have only one adult on the account and that account is essentially "owned", if you will, by the adult until the child reaches adulthood...
The court can review those arrangements and, on the application of the other parent, appoint a guardian ad litem to make sure there are no fiduciary violations. It depends on the specific laws of the jurisdiction, and whether you are talking about a bank account or a trust, the terms and nature of the trust, etc., but generally, courts have a broad discretion to look out for the best interests of the child.
I disagree. Consenting to splitting a child in half definitely counts as crazy in my book.
But that wasnt known until the threat was given. What if the true mother had given up before the case went before the king. The crazy B would have the child. Sometimes it takes a confrontation for the crazy to become obvious to others.
Quote:
Well, to some extent it depends on the circumstances, but for what it's worth, a friend of mine did as I suggested -- and less than a year later, the ex-wife voluntarily gave up custody to him.
Wouldnt that be just as detrimental to the kids. Living with a parent that didnt really want you then being told she didnt want you?
The median child support award in the United States is $280 per month. (Where I live, that won't pay even for a week's worth of daycare.) The custodial parent pays most of the costs of raising the child and does most of the work.
THAT is what floors me about these parents who complain about paying child support. They see handing over money as a huge inconvenience, yet they don't know the day to day expenses of raising a child. My ex paid $218/mo for 14 years, and bragged about it, yet lied about his income every time we went to court. $7.25 a day. My son ate and wiped through that by lunch time.
Spot on, with everything else, Red.
I am impressed with how Bones is putting his kids first. Even though that is what all parents should do, it's just too common and easy to deadbeat these days.
The court can review those arrangements and, on the application of the other parent, appoint a guardian ad litem to make sure there are no fiduciary violations. It depends on the specific laws of the jurisdiction, and whether you are talking about a bank account or a trust, the terms and nature of the trust, etc., but generally, courts have a broad discretion to look out for the best interests of the child.
Great!! I was just wondering...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
