Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I remember when I was single and doing lots of blind dates via the personals I had the greatest time emailing back and forth with the person before we actually got together in person face to face. In other cases we would talk on the phone in person for hours, sometimes all night, in advance of our actual meeting. These conversations were great. We had exchanged videos of ourselves and pictures so we knew what the other person was like.
When we met both of us were ill at ease and the conversation dragged. In a few cases the person said they had to go to the rest room and never returned. This after we had spent hours on the phone and emailing in eager anticipation.
Can you relate to this situation? Has it happened to you?
Yes some people are very friendly and perfect online and sometimes over the phone, then in person are weird and off-beat. They could have had somebody else typing.... you never know, people are very mischievous and sneaky.
When I was dating my wife she would love to start having phone sex with me. I will never know why since she lived only three miles from me. Our phone calls were generally about one minute long since because if we were going to have sex I wanted it in person.
Actually, something simular happened to me recently. I chatted with a guy for about a month. Gosh, he was so witty, great personality, charming, all these great qualities. Seemed talkative but not over talkative. I was thinking, wow, this could really go some where.We never spoke on the phone though, at his doing. That was kinda strange. I saw a picture but couldnt really tell anything by the pic, but at that point he was so great in "chatting" that I didnt care too much what he was going to look like. Finally we meet. He is probably one of the most handsome men I have ever met. But, nothing and I mean nothing like his chatting persona. Didn't say anything, only answered my questions. No more joking around, no wittiness, nothing. I even asked him if he was ok. Chalking it up to nerves, we go out one more time. But no, the person I met in chat was not the person before me. I asked him was I the same as in our chats as I am in person and he said yes. Anyway, I had to let it go, it wasn't going to work. Shoot and he was sooo cute.
I don't understand how such a big difference could be there.
I think it is important to set up your first meeting someplace where there is something to do and talk about like an art gallery, museum, or perhaps even an amusement park, that way there is no pressure to come up with conversation while having a staring contest in a restuarant. I think dinner makes for a poor first date. Do something fun, that way if there is little to talk about there isn't such an awkward silence and need for forced conversation. Being in a gallery or museum also gives you something to talk about, you can discuss what you are observing.
Having an internet or phone call relationship with flirting is safe. And I think that each person creates a mental image of the person they are communicating with, much like one enjoys a great book. But like a book that gets made into a movie, finally meeting in person is traumatic and a jolt to that pre-meeting mental image. Many can't handle the transition. Plus if there have been many great internet and phone conversations, meeting in person puts a lot of pressure on that great online/phone relationship to turn into a real and physical relationship. Again, many are not able to make that change.
Maybe when meeting for the first time, both should talk about realistic expectations and agree to to start off as only friends and not hope for an immediate romance.
In the beginning, my friendship with my boyfriend was purely through the internet. And it wasn't even flirty. When we finally met in person, it felt really strange to hear his voice. It took about two days to get comfortable with his in person persona.
That's what I 've been having since 2 Months ago with a charming young woman I met on...this network! (I know she is charming because I saw her live on webcam).
Of course when she told me she had a (long-distance) romantic relationship with another guy, I wasn't too happy, because I guess I would have liked something else than a good buddy relationship with her...on the other hand, as it is only a cyberrelationship , I probably didn't feel as bad as if I had met her in the real world...although surprinsingly I did feel at a certain stage bad enough to drain a bottle of Tequila...
When I was dating my wife she would love to start having phone sex with me. I will never know why since she lived only three miles from me. Our phone calls were generally about one minute long since because if we were going to have sex I wanted it in person.
I had an ex like that and it was so annoying that she could text and IM me better than talk to me in Person. She told me it allowed her to think her thoughts out more. I was so annoyed, I had to let her go becuase I'm talkative and I like having a conversation
I remember when I was single and doing lots of blind dates via the personals I had the greatest time emailing back and forth with the person before we actually got together in person face to face. In other cases we would talk on the phone in person for hours, sometimes all night, in advance of our actual meeting. These conversations were great. We had exchanged videos of ourselves and pictures so we knew what the other person was like.
When we met both of us were ill at ease and the conversation dragged. In a few cases the person said they had to go to the rest room and never returned. This after we had spent hours on the phone and emailing in eager anticipation.
Can you relate to this situation? Has it happened to you?
Sounds like you were both just nervous. It's easy to talk with someone over email because you don't have to reply immediately and you can take your time composing your response. The chemistry you have online doesn't always translate to the real world, at first. The more you connected online, the greater your expectations will be when you meet in person. I'd say just give it time and you might get more comfy with each other.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
