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if its a non live in girl friend it means the phone message is coming, like the one you have gotten from kelly girl.......congratulations, you have completed your temporary assignment, we will contact you regarding your next assignment, no need to call.
My stbx liked to wait for an inconvient time or wake me at 2 am wanting sex, but never considered it before I went to bed or when I went to bed or when I wasnt tired or expecting company even if I struted around naked winking my hoohoo at him. Why does one want to be intimate with someone who is obviously not in the mood unless it is a control issue?
I can relate to that.
I'm really not a morning-sex person nor in-the-middle-of-the-night sex person, but I'm glad he's adjusting to that. I prefer my sleep not interrupted.
As long as its not too frequent then I don't see it as selfish. If you're doing it several times a week or a month then I don't see anything wrong with turning the SO once or twice during that time period. If you're only doing it once a year then yeah, maybe there is a problem.
OK. This would likely be filed under fantasy but...
Maybe provisions should be written in to marriage contracts to help ease the seemingly undeniable differences in gender preferences regarding sex. A possibility...Ladies...since having sex is often just a chore for you, you could defer the work to another qualified professional. Safety and cost could be negotiated based on the quality / professionalism of those providing the service. It could be as natural as getting gas in the car or grocery shopping. Of course, love / emotional attachment is not allowed there...This would allow you ladies to pursue all your non sex related activities such as book clubs, PTA, gardening, working, sleeping uninterrupted.
Men. Since sex is an integral part of our relationships, at least in the beginning, we should do what we can to stay fit to improve performance. The up font cost of the above mentioned professional help would help avoid the cost(s) of partners being on different pages, sex-wise. An investment per se...Based on my experience, including the posts on this thread, this is the all too common scenario.
Ladies...if you can dumb it down for a moment...it makes sense to put some energy into this. After all, if sex is avoided or not addressed, half the equation for a man's happiness is neglected.
Hey wait...doesn't that correspond to the average divorce rate? Hmmm...probably just coincidence...right?
I've always been accomodating in that regard since I'd expect the same in return. If I'm not really up for sex myself there a a couple ways to "take care" of the other. ( ie; a hangover, headache or unable to sleep situation....sometimes you just need a hand!)
OK. This would likely be filed under fantasy but...
Maybe provisions should be written in to marriage contracts to help ease the seemingly undeniable differences in gender preferences regarding sex. A possibility...Ladies...since having sex is often just a chore for you, you could defer the work to another qualified professional. Safety and cost could be negotiated based on the quality / professionalism of those providing the service. It could be as natural as getting gas in the car or grocery shopping. Of course, love / emotional attachment is not allowed there...This would allow you ladies to pursue all your non sex related activities such as book clubs, PTA, gardening, working, sleeping uninterrupted.
Men. Since sex is an integral part of our relationships, at least in the beginning, we should do what we can to stay fit to improve performance. The up font cost of the above mentioned professional help would help avoid the cost(s) of partners being on different pages, sex-wise. An investment per se...Based on my experience, including the posts on this thread, this is the all too common scenario.
Ladies...if you can dumb it down for a moment...it makes sense to put some energy into this. After all, if sex is avoided or not addressed, half the equation for a man's happiness is neglected.
Hey wait...doesn't that correspond to the average divorce rate? Hmmm...probably just coincidence...right?
1. Prostitution is illegal. You can't include, "I allow my spouse to visit hookers instead of bugging me about it" in a contract.
1a. See what happens to the contract when hubby knocks up a hooker, or wifey is knocked up by one. You can't include, "Everybody agrees to get an abortion if the occasion arises," either.
2. Your scenario only accounts for uninterested wives and horny husbands. The reverse is often the case.
Ladies...since having sex is often just a chore for you, you could defer the work to another qualified professional. Safety and cost could be negotiated based on the quality / professionalism of those providing the service.
Men. Since sex is an integral part of our relationships, at least in the beginning, we should do what we can to stay fit to improve performance.
Or....heres another thought. Men since sex is often a one sided quick act of selfishness on your part the ladies could defer your role to a qualified professional who would be considerate to our needs and leave us physically and emotionally satisfied.
Instead of spending time at the gym to stay fit in order to improve performance, perhaps spend more time with the kids and doing your share around the house while she goes to the gym. Then she will have more energy for sex.
Excellent suggestion, 2M though I believe it ' ll fall on deaf ears . Going to the gym 's important but ranks second to sharing or helping around the house (and no, mowing the lawn monthly doesn't make up for a week's cleaning !)
1. Prostitution is illegal. You can't include, "I allow my spouse to visit hookers instead of bugging me about it" in a contract.
1a. See what happens to the contract when hubby knocks up a hooker, or wifey is knocked up by one. You can't include, "Everybody agrees to get an abortion if the occasion arises," either.
2. Your scenario only accounts for uninterested wives and horny husbands. The reverse is often the case.
Now we're getting somewhere...But first let me further support my position...As you said..."uninterested wives and horny husbands". Add in self centered and you are echoing the sentiments of many of the ladies who posted here. Have you read these posts? There is a common theme amongst many of the ladies. Where do you think that comes from? Anyway, you stated it is often the other way around. I question the often part...Oh yes. I'm sure it happens but I'd wager that it is truly a case of being the exception to the rule.
Secondly, hookers is such a cold word. How about sex therapy engineer? Why not re-define how things are since to me, they obviously aren't working that well. Clean it up a bit...health standards... maybe a criteria to be a STE is to be STP free and maybe even sterilized to avoid the complications of reproduction. Yes. A bit foreign and perhaps far out but this is all just conceptual anyway...I'm just offering an idea. To leave it be, as it is, seems ludicrous since it is such a huge, often badly managed issue.
Here's a quote from another poster..."Or....heres another thought. Men since sex is often a one sided quick act of selfishness on your part the ladies could defer your role to a qualified professional who would be considerate to our needs and leave us physically and emotionally satisfied.
Instead of spending time at the gym to stay fit in order to improve performance, perhaps spend more time with the kids and doing your share around the house while she goes to the gym. Then she will have more energy for sex."
This is progress here. It is clear that there are common themes amongst the genders and huge differences in requirements. There must be a better way to balance out these things. We could all indulge each other a bit here...Men...be in touch with what your woman wants. Make an honest effort to please. Women...the same goes for you. [Warning: facetious remark coming...] Easy right?
Now we're getting somewhere...But first let me further support my position...As you said..."uninterested wives and horny husbands". Add in self centered and you are echoing the sentiments of many of the ladies who posted here. Have you read these posts? There is a common theme amongst many of the ladies. Where do you think that comes from? Anyway, you stated it is often the other way around. I question the often part...Oh yes. I'm sure it happens but I'd wager that it is truly a case of being the exception to the rule.
Where did you want me to add "self-centered"? Uninterested, self-centered wives and horny husbands, or uninterested wives and horny, self-centered husbands? It seems like either could apply.
The "common theme" that I read the most is that women in their 30s and older like sex. I also read that exhaustion and resentment are libido-killers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Floyd
Secondly, hookers is such a cold word. How about sex therapy engineer? Why not re-define how things are since to me, they obviously aren't working that well. Clean it up a bit...health standards... maybe a criteria to be a STE is to be STP free and maybe even sterilized to avoid the complications of reproduction. Yes. A bit foreign and perhaps far out but this is all just conceptual anyway...I'm just offering an idea. To leave it be, as it is, seems ludicrous since it is such a huge, often badly managed issue.
You are trying to reinvent the wheel.
Almost all states are no-fault divorce states, so you can't have a contract that includes "will not divorce me if I have sex with someone else."
Extramarital sex does not have to be with a hooker, so why stipulate that? Why not the gardener or nanny, or just anybody off Craigslist? (No, I will not call a hooker a sex therapy engineer--what therapy? The person is a living sex doll. No emotions, no love. You said so. I will say "sex worker" if you'd rather, but hooker or prostitute are common terms for someone who is paid for sex.)
You still have to get around the illegality of prostitution, which is a huge tangent to this thread. There have been several lengthy discussions, including my comments, over in Great Debates.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Floyd
It is clear that there are common themes amongst the genders and huge differences in requirements. There must be a better way to balance out these things. We could all indulge each other a bit here...Men...be in touch with what your woman wants. Make an honest effort to please. Women...the same goes for you. [Warning: facetious remark coming...] Easy right?
No, it's not easy. Not as easy as abandoning a wife to her book club and getting a hooker, anyway. But if you do indulge one another and make the effort to please, the hookers shouldn't be necessary.
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The new marriage contract?
and getting a hooker, anyway. But if you do indulge one another and make the effort to please, the hookers shouldn't be necessary.
