Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
one more thing ... Sorry miu, i'm not picking on you, but you crack me up with your assertions that your bf *never* looks at other women, not ever .. Why, he tells you so! Lol ... It reminds me of this thing i saw on t.v. Once. This couple was in therapy (for sex related problems) and the therapist asked the husband if he masturbated. The wife cut in anxiously and answered for the husband: Of course not! He has no reason to do that. Uh huh. suuure.
As a matter of respect to my wife, i try to never make it obvious when i ntoice an attractive woman... In her presence or outside of it, but yeah, when i see an angelina jolie look alike in the supermarket, i do kind of notice that.
I do it too, so I can't complain about this one. If there is a very attractive man or woman near I always notice & appreciate. I am very visual. I don't criticize a man for doing the same thing that I do, an innocent look doesn't bother me. Now if he was obviously on the prowl for someone else while with me I would be offended.
Looking at people is normal. Looking at attractive people of the opposite sex is normal. No problem!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smily Gladshanks
Yeah, I always look at other women. In fact, it's so common for me, I don't realize I'm doing it, and it doesn't register consciously. I don't know men who don't do this. If a woman looks, she's usually LOOKING. Men aren't. If it bothers you that much, try not to notice. If you don't notice they are looking, that's about as much as they notice they ARE looking, for the most part. The exception is they guy who pursues. You should be able to tell the difference easily enough.
Really, that's how you're gonna have to approach it. It's biological. Notice that men are generally the ones expected to pursue? Guess how that happens, you know?
A female friend of mine was rather bothered that I checked out every woman who walked into the restaurant. I happen to check out just about everyone, I'm observant and try to be vigilant to bad actors as well as attractive women.
So I suppose the opposite of this is that women will complain that men don't notice them after they've gotten all dolled up?
Noticing beauty is normal. I mean, we all look at flowers and cute animals and many things that are eye-catching.
However, looking at someone in a sexual way is disrespectful, especially when you're in a relationship, even if your partner is not there. Your behavior when your partner is not with you actually says a lot.
Of course I may notice a good-looking guy in public & can appreciate him from an aesthetic point of view, but I am not going to "check him out" or dwell on him if I am in a relationship, and I'm especially not going to ogle. I expect the same of anyone I date.
There's a line that is crossed even when you are single. Ogling someone is just plain rude & creepy.
I don't buy any biology excuses for men either. All humans are capable of self-control. That's just a cop-out to refuse to take responsibility for your actions.
I don't buy any biology excuses for men either. All humans are capable of self-control. That's just a cop-out to refuse to take responsibility for your actions.
Maybe that's what other guys meant. I meant that men will look, but they can control themselves and have good manners. Part of having good manners is refraining when it is inappropriate. (that's what was said above.) Um...this is also part of maturity. I wouldn't expect a 15 or 16 yr old kid to have the same affection for good manners as an older guy.
I have not read all this thread so forgive me if I repeat anything. Yes it is biological and natural. Monogamy is NOT natural. It is mostly a creation of society. Regardless, its hard not to notice beauty. It is a fact that women check out other men and women too. You women are always sizing each other up. You dress up to attract attention single or not and you expect other men not to notice? haha.
Its one thing to look and another to touch or do something inappropriate. Nothing wrong with looking. I think its healthy and makes you feel young being around pretty women frankly. Its another thing to do it too blatantly if you are with your partner. Although I have dated girls who also enjoy checking out other girls, so that makes everyone happy. Embrace it, don't fight it. He is with you after all. Be happy.
I'll be honest. It makes me feel good about myself if I get an appreciative look from the opposite sex. But more often than not, I don't really notice if anyone is looking, unless they're being obvious about it, but even an obvious stare can be done in a decent way. But it's a big no-no when you're with a partner who is either very competitive or very insecure.
I appreciate a sincere compliment (which an appreciative glance can also be taken as), and if it hadn't been for men appreciating women, how much worse would we women feel about ourselves? Most of us women are already never happy with the way we look, we always find faults with our appearance... Imagine how bad it would be if it weren't for men who make us feel better about ourselves. So, I for one don't mind if men are looking, as long as they don't go too far.
I can't even stop myself from stealing a few glances at handsome men and beautiful women. It's in our nature, we can't help it. I even point it out to my husband when I spot a beautiful woman. Why, it's like a beautiful flower or so, why would I deprive him from that pleasure? It's not like he's going to leave my side and run towards that woman. I admit, when he looks at those beautiful actresses on websites I do feel a pinch of jealousy, but in the meantime I also look at handsome actors, making him slightly jealous too, even though he'll never admit it! I do wish he would pay me a compliment once in a while, though... Grrr!
Looking is no big deal. Of course some men go overboard with their stares, and those are the ones that give me the creeps. It's the kind of stare that undresses you... not something that makes a woman feel good about herself. It makes her feel dirty, like she has to run home and scrub herself. That is a big turn off; men, please don't do that. Otherwise it's all just an amusing, innocent game we like to play.
I'll be honest. It makes me feel good about myself if I get an appreciative look from the opposite sex. But more often than not, I don't really notice if anyone is looking, unless they're being obvious about it, but even an obvious stare can be done in a decent way. But it's a big no-no when you're with a partner who is either very competitive or very insecure.
I appreciate a sincere compliment (which an appreciative glance can also be taken as), and if it hadn't been for men appreciating women, how much worse would we women feel about ourselves? Most of us women are already never happy with the way we look, we always find faults with our appearance... Imagine how bad it would be if it weren't for men who make us feel better about ourselves. So, I for one don't mind if men are looking, as long as they don't go too far.
I can't even stop myself from stealing a few glances at handsome men and beautiful women. It's in our nature, we can't help it. I even point it out to my husband when I spot a beautiful woman. Why, it's like a beautiful flower or so, why would I deprive him from that pleasure? It's not like he's going to leave my side and run towards that woman. I admit, when he looks at those beautiful actresses on websites I do feel a pinch of jealousy, but in the meantime I also look at handsome actors, making him slightly jealous too, even though he'll never admit it! I do wish he would pay me a compliment once in a while, though... Grrr!
Looking is no big deal. Of course some men go overboard with their stares, and those are the ones that give me the creeps. It's the kind of stare that undresses you... not something that makes a woman feel good about herself. It makes her feel dirty, like she has to run home and scrub herself. That is a big turn off; men, please don't do that. Otherwise it's all just an amusing, innocent game we like to play.
I like your attitude about it.
Cool.
Yes, everyone appreciates beauty, heck I even notice when Mrs. Chow and I see a good looking dude.
People need to lighten up little on this subject in my opinion.
I don't expect Mrs. Chow to never notice a good looking man, just be discreet is all I ask.
Just cause your marriage or in a LTR doesn't mean you're dead.
Why do men always have to look at other women all the time? .... And most men I know always say, don't worry about it because some men just can't help it, it's in their nature. Anybody out there have any thoughts to share?
it's similar to how most women expect men to pay the bill if going out to dinner.
evolution.
it's also the case that women can be boring at times. keep the guy interested, he won't look away. btw. you can look at women too. they're nice to look at (as admiration & appreciation, rather than jealous).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You've been reading too much of Freud's writing recently.
suuure.
