Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
guys like this is the reasons we have alomony laws and child support and no sympathy from the judge. what a jerk!!!
I see it the opposite. What would you want, alimony from day 1? There should be a minimum period of time before alimony kicks in. It's 10 years in TX apparently. That's fair.
Threads like this reinforce my commitment to never ever get married again. Seems most of the posters here think her husband owes her her current standard of living, for the rest of her life apparently, even though she's been married only 9 years. He doesn't, or if he did legally, that wouldn't be fair. He has half the responsibility for the kids, no responsibility to her, that's what fair. She already got more than half the financial benefit of the marriage, by being a SAHM, which is a lot easier than working elsewhere to make ends meet. She also got to spend more time with the kids.
Child support should not pay for all the kids' expenses. It should pay for half only, even if she has full custody. He could kick in more but he should not be legally obligated to.
Kudos to Delong for taking the high road. It's unfortunate she moved out of state without knowing that she may not be able to leave. Ignorance on that is not an excuse though; it's something she has to live with now, and it's not his fault she's in that situation. Maybe he's just being a selfish jerk to stay in that state, or he may be there because in her home state he can't make enough money to survive.
Delong is about to enter the working (for a boss) world again. That's hard, but it's the same boat every other working stiff is in. It's the same boat her husband is in. She needs to buck up and learn a marketable skill. Women (or former SAHDs) can weld, they can be electricians, plumbers, computer programmers, whatever. It's tough to make a living wage, even tougher in this rough economy, but millions of other people do it.
I see it the opposite. What would you want, alimony from day 1? There should be a minimum period of time before alimony kicks in. It's 10 years in TX apparently. That's fair.
Threads like this reinforce my commitment to never ever get married again. Most of the posters here think her husband owes her a life, for the rest of her life apparently. He doesn't, or if he did legally, that wouldn't be fair. He has half the responsibility for the kids, no responsibility to her, that's what fair. She already got more than half the financial benefit of the marriage, by being a SAHM, which is a lot easier than working elsewhere to make ends meet, she is now finding out. She also got to spend more time with the kids.
Child support should not pay for all the kids' expenses. It should pay for half only, even if she has full custody.
Kudos to Delong for taking the high road. It's unfortunate she moved out of state without knowing that she may not be able to leave. Ignorance on that is not an excuse though; it's something she has to live with now, and it's not his fault she's in that situation. Maybe he's just be being a selfish jerk to stay in that state, or he may be there because he can't make enough money to survive in her home state.
Delong is about to enter the working (for a boss) world again. That's hard, but it's the same boat every other working stiff is in. It's the same boat her husband is in. She needs to buck up and learn a marketable skill. Women (or SAHDs) can weld, they can be electricians, plumbers, computer programmers, whatever. It's tough to make a living wage, even tougher in this rough economy, but millions of other people do it.
Wow, your lack of support is so appreciated I'm sure
Wow, your lack of support is so appreciated I'm sure
Because I don't support welfare? Seems the law is not going to support welfare in this case either, so it's best she hears some unpleasant but good advice, which is to learn a skill. Way better than some of the other "support" here, like suggesting she kidnap the kids.
I just really want to know how people do it? I'm looking all day at job listings and apartment listings, just to see what's out there. For a decent 2 bedroom apartment, it's $800. Having been out of the job market for so long and not having a degree, I'm going to be lucky if I can get $12/hour. Even with basic bills (rent, utilities, food) I won't be able to make ends meet. Seriously, how do people do it?
By making more than $12/hour! That needs to be your goal. I suggest you go to a career counseling place (perhaps free and run by the state's unemployment dept.) and see what higher-paying job types are available where you live. Focus on something you can learn without spending years in school. In the meantime you need to learn severe frugality. Perhaps share a house with another woman in a similar boat. Buy almost nothing besides food at retail prices--buy at Goodwill and other thrift stores. Lots of web sites teach frugality.
One possibility is to learn Oracle database development. You can do this at home using books from any major bookstore. It's a high-demand skill in any major city, even during this recession. If you applied yourself a few hours daily, within six months to a year you could be marketable. It's not rocket science at all, even though it may seem so at first.
Because I don't support welfare? Seems the law is not going to support welfare in this case either, so it's best she hears some unpleasant but good advice, which is to learn a skill. Way better than some of the other "support" here, like suggesting she kidnap the kids.
I do not believe the topic of welfare is being discussed in this particular thread, other than when I answered delong's rhetorical question about how single moms manage these days. That was one of several things I listed that some single moms rely on.
HOWEVER, we are discussing delong - a COLLEGE EDUCATED, stay at home mother who has been blindsided by her husband and is seeking emotional support on this thread. Since you so obviously have none to offer, why not go play somewhere else??
I do not believe the topic of welfare is being discussed in this particular thread, other than when I answered delong's rhetorical question about how single moms manage these days. That was one of several things I listed that some single moms rely on.
HOWEVER, we are discussing delong - a COLLEGE EDUCATED, stay at home mother who has been blindsided by her husband and is seeking emotional support on this thread. Since you so obviously have none to offer, why not go play somewhere else??
By welfare I mean money or other financial support that is not earned. He owes half the financial support for the kids; any more than that from him is welfare for her, and unfair to him.
She was not blindsided by her husband. He is choosing to end the marriage, which is the prerogative of any married person and frequently happens. If she is blindsided that's her fault, not his. In return for being a SAHM she did not have the pressure of working for a boss, she did not have to keep career skills updated, and she got more time with the kids. That fully compensated her. Once divorced he owes her nothing for her no longer being a SAHM. If they were married longer then maybe he'd owe her more, but 9 years is not long enough.
She is not asking just for emotional support (see her question above), nor will such support pay the bills she'll soon have. In the long run she needs real advice, not advice to kidnap her kids and mooch off her family or whatever.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Googling it results in some hyerogliphs...
