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If a "Friend" stops being a friend because they got married, then they were just using you, plain and simple. And you can bet if the guy gave them the shaft, they'd want to be "Friends" again.
If a "Friend" stops being a friend because they got married, then they were just using you, plain and simple. And you can bet if the guy gave them the shaft, they'd want to be "Friends" again.
It's not that they stop being friends...what happens is, when you become single/by divorce, those same friends do not invite you to their parties and picnics, b/c you are single...yet, they call you, and schedule lunches, shopping trips, etc...but do not invite you to their party events, which stinks....
I opened this thread, basically so that more people become more aware of their actions, and invite their single friends...sheesh, if you're so worried about your single girlfriends and your man, then it's your man you should probably worry about.
If you are thinking that perhaps your single friends don't want to come b/c they are single, why not ask them anyway and allow them to make the decission?
But, if your worried that your single women friends are going to come on to your husband, perhaps you have a bigger problem then the single woman?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck
When the competition is the greatest, it brings out the worst in people. Among seniors, the female to male ratio must be 4:1. Women who are still married have status. Single available men in this demographic are as rare as whooping cranes. And you wonder why the knives (and casseroles) come out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
Funny, but are you defending their behaviour?
Just stating a fact. Wherever there is a shortage, be prepared to compete or be happy with what you have. I think this is a little silly but some women seem to have their entire mental and emotional well being tied up with having a man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
I hang out with both single folks and married folks...and like your mother, we get along fine...but there were some in my past, who right after my separation and divorce, completely dropped off the face of the earth. It hurt me then, but now I feel, good riddens....
This is an issue of divorce rather than widowhood and that is outside the area I was discussing.
I've seen a few instances of this. In general, I would suggest that the people were actually friends of the spouse and carried on as before. However, there are situations where some people are uncomfortable with the divorce but I think this is rare. What is important is to include YOUR friends in things when you are married. Relying on your spouse for all social interaction is asking for trouble should you divorce. Sorry if this seems cruel, but its reality.
NotARedneck
Originally Posted by NotARedneck When the competition is the greatest, it brings out the worst in people. Among seniors, the female to male ratio must be 4:1. Women who are still married have status. Single available men in this demographic are as rare as whooping cranes. And you wonder why the knives (and casseroles) come out?
Just stating a fact. Wherever there is a shortage, be prepared to compete or be happy with what you have. I think this is a little silly but some women seem to have their entire mental and emotional well being tied up with having a man.
This is an issue of divorce rather than widowhood and that is outside the area I was discussing.
I've seen a few instances of this. In general, I would suggest that the people were actually friends of the spouse and carried on as before. However, there are situations where some people are uncomfortable with the divorce but I think this is rare. What is important is to include YOUR friends in things when you are married. Relying on your spouse for all social interaction is asking for trouble should you divorce. Sorry if this seems cruel, but its reality.
I found this post of yours very valuable...and no, doesn't seem cruel, it is indeed reality...I just wish, people could somehow change, become less fearful, less insecure and immature and realize, people are not all out to get them...or their husbands....me frankly, while I love them, their families...I am not in the least bit, interested in their husbands...and a lot of woman are like me...I wouldn't even come close to being attracted to someone else's husband...it's a personal conviction, one that I was taught and grew up with. You don't take something that isn't yours to begin with...you don't ever mess with a married man or a girl friends boy friend. No matter what the circumstances. Marriage to me is sacred, and I would never ever want to hurt another like I've been hurt.
Why, it's not that they are traveling together b/c they want to...there are people in my group who HAVE to travel together occassionally, and there has never been any hanky panky going on...ever. Traveling for work, is not a fun thing or what a lot of people think it is. You spend the entire day getting there, you grab something quick to eat, you may be in a meeting until late, and all you want to do is get something to eat, go to your room, kick your shoes off and sleep. It's all business...truly.
It's not always all business. This just seems a little naive to me. I've traveled in my work and have seen it. Married or not, some people cheat. Throw two people together for a week and things can and do happen. There is always time for hanky-panky if one wants it.
Hello, new poster, and welcome to City Data, where the rules are made up and the points don't matter...wait, nevermind... May I ask how you found this thread? Did you go scrolling through years of threads or did it come up on a search engine? I'm just curious how this happens.
Single women have many more friends than single men.
This is a very old thread....but I'll reply
First and foremost, I believe my point got lost in translations somewhere, or perhaps I didn't explain enough...
If a woman loses her hubby by divorce, or by death, it seems at times, she might also lose their couple's friends over time.
My girlfriend worked in a retirement home, and saw this happen...couples got together and did things together, cards, travel, movies, etc....just hung out together...but, if one of the couples lost their hubby's things changed...however, if one of the couple's wives passed away, the woman would be taking over casserole, and all kinds of food, to help him along.
I believe it's just the nature of the beast? But she saw it and it became a discussion, how once this woman lost her husband, the click no longer accepted her...and she'd sit at a table all by herself?
while posting on another thread, I thought of this and surmized it might be a very good topic of awareness and/or discussion.
if your single and a man, your much luckier then most, b/c a lot of married women fall all over a single man and want to mother him, but being a single woman, has it's down side. Most married women, not all, but some are so darn immature and to jealous to invite a single woman into her home, or to social events, etc. Why? Because she is intimidated by a single woman...
My girlfriend worked in a retirement home and saw the same thing. She said it was very sad. All these couples spent most of their time together, and when a woman's husband died, the women of those couples estranged her. Yet, she concluded, if it was a man who was left behind, those men were swarmed by married women, who wanted to take care of him, fix him up with other women. How cruel...and the worst part is, she said, she would watch the widowed women, and see how lonely they were, but the married women were so insecure and scared that they wven withheld compassion for that women?????
One day my son and I were talking on the phone. He said they were having a party. I said wonderful, whose coming? He replied...several of their friends names, which were all couples, and a single friend. He said they didn't know if they were going to invite him or not. I asked why? He explained that they thought he might feel out of place because it was all couples. I said, "Don't make a decission for him, ask him and allow him to decide but definately extend the invitation". After listening, he agreed.
Why is it human beings can be so unaware or unthinking?
Kind of an all over the place post, but im really struggling to see how the highlighted is a good thing for single men.
Kind of an all over the place post, but im really struggling to see how the highlighted is a good thing for single men.
please forget this and read my post above yours perhaps you'll understand....and sorry for any confusion.
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Defending What?
