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Old 05-14-2009, 05:42 PM
 
16 posts, read 26,249 times
Reputation: 13

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Assuming that you are single and of the monogamous type.

If someone you knew had an SO (6+ years), and they became attracted to you. And to be intimate with you, they were willing to convert their relationship to an open relationship -with the SO's agreement for whatever reasons.

(a) Would you consider/accept it?

(b) If not, would you re-consider if they told you that you would be the
only outside person they would be with?

(c) After sometime together, if they decided to leave their SO to be with
you, would you consider a relationship with them if they agreed to no
more open relationships? Or would you have a trust issue?
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Old 05-14-2009, 05:49 PM
 
2,002 posts, read 4,564,716 times
Reputation: 1772
a) Hm, not my game.

b) Errr... I'm not sure. If I'd want a serious relationship I wouldn't want a person just jumping from another relationship to be with me. If it's just for the moment, maybe.

c) Trust issue.
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Old 05-14-2009, 05:58 PM
 
6,565 posts, read 14,239,286 times
Reputation: 3229
(a) Would you consider/accept it?

Obviously assuming I was single.... Yes, I'd consider it.

(b) If not, would you re-consider if they told you that you would be the
only outside person they would be with?

Again, I'd consider it, but of course there'd have to be an understanding that I am not bound to them in any monogamous sort of way either...

I think if it's up front what this "relationship" is then there isn't anything wrong with it, so long as it's consentual..

(c) After sometime together, if they decided to leave their SO to be with
you, would you consider a relationship with them if they agreed to no
more open relationships? Or would you have a trust issue?

Well, honestly I think I'd have LESS of a trust issue with this person assuming they followed through on everything else..... I mean if I'm understanding this correctly, this person BEFORE having any relations with me TOLD their current SO, right??? In my experience these are the trustworthy people. They put their cards on the table and allow you to make a decision based on it.....

Would I marry this person? Well.... THAT I'd have to really think about. One can be flighty in relationships as long as they're being honest, but marriage is a different bird....
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:01 PM
 
Location: In a house on a street in Puyallup, WA
219 posts, read 733,602 times
Reputation: 303
Hell no and double hell no! Anyone that would be in this type
of relationship needs their head examined
Monogamous means you have sex with one person, so if the
person is still haven sex with the wife and the other women then it’s not monogamous.
Who in the hell would be willing in their heart to let the person
they love convert their relationship to an open relationship and
be okay with that (NOT ME)!!!

A trust issue if they now want to dump the person they took a vow
with, I wouldn’t trust that person for sh_it So yes a big trust issue
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:18 PM
 
16 posts, read 26,249 times
Reputation: 13
Thanks everyone for the replies. I realize that I missed one aspect. The person and their SO are not married but are living together. In reality it a marriage of sorts without the formalized part.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,714,372 times
Reputation: 8575
No. Apart from that, this usually does not work out; someone ends up getting hurt.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:43 PM
 
3,852 posts, read 12,822,282 times
Reputation: 2529
Yea i'd accept it as long as the bf didn't go crazy on me.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,180,466 times
Reputation: 547
Honestly? I'd say most men would be ok with that under (b). And no man I know of would consider that person marriage or a true relationship (in the romantic beyond sexual aspect) material.

It would be akin to having a "relationship" with a porn star that's done boy/girl. Sure, you'd have sex with them in a pinch, but the trust issues that are there would preclude anything aside from a friend with benefits from being possible.

Frankly anyone that is in the dating world past college usually has enough trust issues with the opposite sex, adding something else that blatant...*shrug*
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Old 05-14-2009, 07:01 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,357,779 times
Reputation: 1612
No, i would not.

I don't believe in open relationships. I'm not a prude or fuddy-duddy, but it just doesn't meet my conception of a relationship.
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Old 05-14-2009, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,888,572 times
Reputation: 13465
SGSI - you post a lot about open relationships. Are you trying to tell us something???
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