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Old 05-13-2009, 06:43 PM
 
16 posts, read 26,274 times
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Does your SO want an Open Relationship but you don't?

One of my friends is currently going through this very situation. His SO (6+yrs together) ran into an old boyfriend and passions got inflamed - no sex yet but both parties are interested in being intimate.

His SO told him the details and that she wanted an open relationship where she could spend time for relations with the old bf but promised to return to him. And he could do the same with anyone he wanted as long as he returned to her.

If he tried to prevent her, it could drive her away. Because he loved her, he agreed to the situation.

I was wondering if this had happened to anyone else? How would you handle such a situation? Would you leave or agree to your SO's request?
Would it be end of the relationship?

I have read quite a bit of threads on this forum, and I know some of the views is that "Open Relationship" is another way of saying that the person wants permission to have an affair. So can we skip over those comments?
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:45 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,538,579 times
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An open relationship has to be a mutual decision. If one person says, "I want to have sex with other people, and if you say no that will just drive me away," and the other person just goes along with it, that's a very bad idea.
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,946,138 times
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If someone I loved asked for an open relationship I'd go open the door for them and say, Sure, there you go. Go.
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:48 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 5,329,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
If someone I loved asked for an open relationship I'd go open the door for them and say, Sure, there you go. Go.
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:49 PM
 
16 posts, read 26,274 times
Reputation: 13
Actually, I am not sure to what extent my friend and his SO discussed the situation. I just got a quick summary of the situation. I am in agreement with you too JustJulia. It is hard to walk away from a 6year relationship.
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA
788 posts, read 4,058,479 times
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I'd be out the door, but not before a swift knee to his crotch.
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Old 05-13-2009, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,912,302 times
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My ex-husband pulled this on me. There's a reason he's an ex.
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Old 05-13-2009, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
461 posts, read 918,534 times
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I would never agree to an open-relationship, it'd ruin all the intimacy for me.
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Old 05-13-2009, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 7,155,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sgsi1988 View Post
Does your SO want an Open Relationship but you don't?
Seems to me this is one of the big "ground rules" that a couple has to go over and agree upon BEFORE they commit/marry. Most folks aren't OK with open relationships, but some are. 'Whatever makes you happy' is my thought.

But agreeing to an exclusive arrangement and then one of the parties saying "I want a different deal" -- and the other person in the committed relationship not being happy about this new arrangement -- seems problematic to me. It has obviously been done (see, for example: : : : J E N N Y B L O C K : : :), but it seems like very tricky business.
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Old 05-13-2009, 07:39 PM
 
3,852 posts, read 12,828,979 times
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I personally think it is a complete joke.

If you want to go and bang as many people as possible, why bother to be in a serious relationship in the first place? Seems like it would make things a heck of alot easier. Besides being single is alot more fun anyways

Quote:
I'd be out the door, but not before a swift knee to his crotch.
That is domestic violence and it is AGAINST the law. No one should be hitting anyone, regardless of gender. Shame on you.
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