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Me and 2 friends decided to take a night on the town today. We went bar hopping (2 bars and a club) There were tonnes and tonnes of beautiful women out, but despite having worked up the courage to try and talk to the few, I could barely get a conversation out of any of them.
When I said "hi," only a few said "hi" back. No one inquired or tried to initiate a conversation after that so I tried a few simple ice breakers "what's your name?/Who're you here with?/What are some fun places around her besides this?/What do you do during the day?" but I only got short, curt answers. They were more brief interviews than conversations.
Some girls were just down right rude; when you say hi, they take one look at you, don't respond and look away.
People say its so easy to start a conversation with a stranger, but so many young women today seem so guarded and untrusting of strange men. It's like they build these minefields and walls around them that you have to tip-toe and poll-vault.
I don't understand; these girls seemed like they spent hours dressing up, doing their hair and make up; why go through all that trouble if they're not interested in meeting guys?
Eitherway, what was supposed to be a chill night out with friends quickly became a discouraging and confidence-crushing experience.
You just had a thread on this really. Your 21, right? Why are you trying so desperately? You do realize that desperation probably hangs around you like a rather lengthy gas-release after an all you can eat bean-dip night, right?
You can't just go out bar hopping, hang out and have fun, see who might make some minor overture to you, or simply order a drink next to you before dolling out the lines? Better yet, actually hang out at one, get as many friends together as possible, get the friends that have girlfriends to bring their friends, talk to them occasionally while just hanging out having fun, maybe actually get to know one of them and have a relationship evolve from that? Just because it's a bar or nightclub doesn't make it a drive-thru pick-up window at Arby's. You can't just order a blonde on rye, buy a drink then leave with her.
I don't understand; these girls seemed like they spent hours dressing up, doing their hair and make up; why go through all that trouble if they're not interested in meeting guys?
I understand pretty well : those girls are narcissists, they groom themselves for their own pleasure, certainly not for men.
I, for one, never met one girl in the bar scene, it's just not my thing.
I don't understand; these girls seemed like they spent hours dressing up, doing their hair and make up; why go through all that trouble if they're not interested in meeting guys?
I understand pretty well : those girls are narcissists, they groom themselves for their own pleasure, certainly not for men.
I, for one, never met one girl in the bar scene, it's just not my thing.
Don't agree with that, they "groom" themselves for the same reasons men do in most cases. Just frankly, your forced in that situation to judge solely on how/what someone looks like, and how someone acts in a very short time frame. Not exactly the best venue even with the best people to meet someone of a truly good match.
I've gone more than a few times where I didn't really see anyone I was genuinely interested in. Just because you go to the mall to buy clothes doesn't automatically mean you buy.
I'm not a real fan of it, but sometimes it beats just sitting around at home doing nothing.
You just had a thread on this really. Your 21, right? Why are you trying so desperately? You do realize that desperation probably hangs around you like a rather lengthy gas-release after an all you can eat bean-dip night, right?
You can't just go out bar hopping, hang out and have fun, see who might make some minor overture to you, or simply order a drink next to you before dolling out the lines? Better yet, actually hang out at one, get as many friends together as possible, get the friends that have girlfriends to bring their friends, talk to them occasionally while just hanging out having fun, maybe actually get to know one of them and have a relationship evolve from that? Just because it's a bar or nightclub doesn't make it a drive-thru pick-up window at Arby's.You can't just order a blonde on rye, buy a drink then leave with her.
Okay, this is funny, but actually very good advice.
Lousy night; Why are young women so guarded at bars and clubs?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyanosphere
Eitherway, what was supposed to be a chill night out with friends quickly became a discouraging and confidence-crushing experience.
So you struck out on meeting a girl last night, and in front of your male friends, it felt worse. Boohoo.
At your age, young women get dressed up for themselves and to impress their girlfriends as they all try to dress up like Paris Hilton or whatever celebrity they are trying to emulate. They are much less interested in meeting strange men hoping for a quick hookup at the end of the night or at the very least get their contact info and then pester them afterwards. They know that clubs are just meat markets, and the guys there are mostly in it looking for a casual sex partner.
Then what also went wrong was you being with a group of guys trying to approach these women whether it's just one or a groups of them. Bad strategy on your part. It's all about group dynamics. If you are in a group of guys, then approaching just one women, she will feel outnumbered and very vulnerable. And if your group of guys outnumber the group of women, that isn't going to work out either. Then if your group is equal in number to their group, the women will basically size up your group of guys, and if it's not a perfect matchup for all of them or if even one of you is obviously a loser (to them), they will do a group rejection on all of you.
If you want to meet girl, it's got to be a one on one thing, and with your lack of pickup skills, stick to daytime interactions for now.
Plus, most women know that it's not smart to get involved with a random guy that they met at some night club or bar. They really don't know who you are and what you are about. For all they know, you could be a potential stalker type. No one meets a potential s/o at a club. But once you have a s/o, then you can take her to them.
Your evening plans to hang out with your guy friends was fine. Your mistake was thinking that any of you would actually connect with any of the women at that club. You were obviously trying too hard to when interacting with these women. They sensed your desperation and were turned off. Instead, you and your guy friends should have been more focused on having a good time amongst yourselves and ignoring the women around you. If you had, you'd have a better chance of catching their attention and them trying to make you notice them. Women are do used to random guys in bars and clubs trying to pick them up, so they pretty much shut down any overtures. Be different by ignoring them.
I don't understand; these girls seemed like they spent hours dressing up, doing their hair and make up; why go through all that trouble if they're not interested in meeting guys?
You just had a thread on this really. Your 21, right? Why are you trying so desperately? You do realize that desperation probably hangs around you like a rather lengthy gas-release after an all you can eat bean-dip night, right?
You can't just go out bar hopping, hang out and have fun, see who might make some minor overture to you, or simply order a drink next to you before dolling out the lines? Better yet, actually hang out at one, get as many friends together as possible, get the friends that have girlfriends to bring their friends, talk to them occasionally while just hanging out having fun, maybe actually get to know one of them and have a relationship evolve from that? Just because it's a bar or nightclub doesn't make it a drive-thru pick-up window at Arby's. You can't just order a blonde on rye, buy a drink then leave with her.
Me and 2 friends decided to take a night on the town today. We went bar hopping (2 bars and a club) There were tonnes and tonnes of beautiful women out, but despite having worked up the courage to try and talk to the few, I could barely get a conversation out of any of them.
When I said "hi," only a few said "hi" back. No one inquired or tried to initiate a conversation after that so I tried a few simple ice breakers "what's your name?/Who're you here with?/What are some fun places around her besides this?/What do you do during the day?" but I only got short, curt answers. They were more brief interviews than conversations.
Some girls were just down right rude; when you say hi, they take one look at you, don't respond and look away.
People say its so easy to start a conversation with a stranger, but so many young women today seem so guarded and untrusting of strange men. It's like they build these minefields and walls around them that you have to tip-toe and poll-vault.
I don't understand; these girls seemed like they spent hours dressing up, doing their hair and make up; why go through all that trouble if they're not interested in meeting guys?
Eitherway, what was supposed to be a chill night out with friends quickly became a discouraging and confidence-crushing experience.
Some girls are interested in meeting guys, but you weren't the guy for those girls. It's a gamble. (And I don't envy guys for having to be in that position.)
As for the girls not saying "Hi", it's to save both you and her from wasting time and to prevent your feelings from being hurt. If the girl responds to your "Hi", then you automatically assume she's open for conversation. If she converses with you just to be friendly, you then assume she's interested in you and you ask for her number. She then has to come up with some excuse not to give you her number because when it comes down to it, she's not interested in you. Now you just wasted 15-30 minutes talking with a chick who was just trying to be polite and you got nowhere and you probably will still think she's b*tch because she led you on by conversing with you for 30 minutes even though she wasn't interested.
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Lousy night; Why are young women so guarded at bars and clubs?
