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1. If you SINCERELY (ie: without the intentions of getting "any" at all) want to become friends with women, then it's fairly simple. You just treat them like ANY person you want to become friends with. You show interest in them, you're friendly and open, and you take an active part in the friendship. When it comes to making friends in general, you must be proactive. You can't sit there and sulk and wait for people to come up to you and try to become your friend. If you're naturally friendly and interested in everyone, then making friends (regardless of a person's gender) is very simple.
2. It should be noted that some women are wary of guys that want to be their friends. Probably because guys tend to not usually invest time and energy into a girl unless they're expecting something in return or hope to turn the friendship into a romantic relationship. However, most girls I know do truly enjoy having guys as friends because it does give you a different perspective on things and also they tend to be less catty as some girls. The way to show the girl that you ONLY want a friendship is to simply NOT FLIRT WITH HER.
3. No offense Cyanosphere, but from judging from your other threads and posts, I doubt that you just want to make female friends. It sounds like you're asking this question because everyone here has been telling you that the first step to landing a chick is to become friends with her... and thus this thread was born.
You're young. STOP focusing so much on getting a girl and focus on YOURSELF. You have lots of potential but you need to forget about girls and see them as people... and just let things fall into place. When you try to manipulate a situation, 9 out 10 times it will blow up in your face!
Just making them friends is easy, if that is all you want. There are lots of women who want friendship. For instance, many married women are lonely and crave conversation so they are approachable. This is easy at work or at activities you share, and usually doesn't raise much of a problem with their spouse, since its in the open. Since you don't want or expect anything, you are more relaxed too.
However, I really don't think that this is what you mean or want.
Getting them to take a romantic interest in you is another matter altogether. This is the difference between a minor and a major purchase. Only a minority of guys have what it takes to be an impulse buy.
NotARedneck - The reason most of us are recommending that he practice being friends with women first, is that he isn't at all comfortable talking with them. And I think that he'd also ultimately like a steady girlfriend for now. It's not as if he's able to pick up women easily for a quick sexual hookup.
Without being comfortable around women period, he's not able to talk to women at all... not for easy hookups or having a girlfriend. He's striking out completely in terms of getting any woman to talk to him beyond his first hello. With that lack of social skills, he's not going to get laid at all. So at least by learning to be friends with women, he'll know how to have a basic lengthy conversation with them plus have their phone numbers.
I'd say that his plan of actions should be:
1. Learning how to be comfortable in the presence of women.
2. Being casual friends with them.
3. Maybe being good friends with a woman or two (to help give him real life advice on romance).
4. Having a girlfriend or an FWB.
5. After the girlfriend becomes the ex, then dating casually and having fun if he doesn't find another girl right away to be his girlfriend.
I don't know very many women that want to be friends with guys. Unless you are a homosexual guy.
Interesting.
I notice a common theme, where certain women claim that they, "don't have any guy friends, because all their guy friends want to sleep with them!" These individuals also claim to struggle with friendships with other women as well.
I am not judging these people or drawing any conclusions, I just encounter it very frequently.
Sociological and racial factors are also contributing to that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory
Interesting.
I notice a common theme, where certain women claim that they, "don't have any guy friends, because all their guy friends want to sleep with them!" These individuals also claim to struggle with friendships with other women.
I am not judging these people or drawing any conclusions, I just encounter it very frequently.
I notice a common theme, where certain women claim that they, "don't have any guy friends, because all their guy friends want to sleep with them!" These individuals also claim to struggle with friendships with other women as well.
I am not judging these people or drawing any conclusions, I just encounter it very frequently.
There are several types of young women. The women that are very feminine. pertpetually flirtatious and girlie all of time are the ones that get hit on by their male friends. They like to act all helpless and expect their guy friends to rescue them. And they usually always dress very feminine and sexy with their low rider jeans, pink Juicy Couture outfits and such. Of course they are going to get hit on by their male friends! And as to their issues with their female friends, they are always trying to outdo each other in what they wear. It's always a competition as to who will get the best boyfriend.
On the other hand, I have always been more of a tomboy type. I don't expose my midrift and I wear practical sneakers. I can talk about cars, politics and science. I pratice common sense and logic. I can change a flat tire on my own. I have always had more male friends than female ones. I've never had a problem with a guy friend trying to sleep with me.
There are several types of young women. The women that are very feminine. pertpetually flirtatious and girlie all of time are the ones that get hit on by their male friends. They like to act all helpless and expect their guy friends to rescue them. And they usually always dress very feminine and sexy with their low rider jeans, pink Juicy Couture outfits and such. Of course they are going to get hit on by their male friends! And as to their issues with their female friends, they are always trying to outdo each other in what they wear. It's always a competition as to who will get the best boyfriend.
On the other hand, I have always been more of a tomboy type. I don't expose my midrift and I wear practical sneakers. I can talk about cars, politics and science. I pratice common sense and logic. I can change a flat tire on my own. I have always had more male friends than female ones. I've never had a problem with a guy friend trying to sleep with me.
Regarding the people who have said this to me, I am having a hard time putting them into neat categories of 'tomboy' and 'girlie.'
The common theme from my observations, I think, is when women grow up around a lot of males, and fewer females, then they have a desire to maintain platonic friendships of the opposite sex. I think I answered my own question: the women all have something else in common - they are very relaxed about their sexuality.
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