Ladies; Why do you call men "desperate" and "creepy"? (social, attraction)
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I don't understand the whole concept of "creepy," because all of the guys I've known to have been called "creeps," "creepy" or "creepers" behind their back were normal, kind and honest guys who just weren't the smoothest or most talkative in a social situation.
Once, one of my friends was waiting outside of work for me, just occasionally looking in. One of my female coworkers said "There's this creepy guy standing out there and just looking in. What's the hell is wrong with him?" I told her that was my best friend and that he was waiting for me, and she said "Oh... sorry."
Another situation, I was at a party, and a two girls were talking to eachother while this guy was just standing quietly by one of their sides. When he left after a few seconds, 1 girl said "Wow, thank God he left. That guy was a total creeper." The other girl said "That's my boyfriend," and the other girl turned white.
So what gives ladies? Do you automatically assume that every guy who isn't much of a looker or a talker is going to stalk, rape and murder you?
It comes from the same trait that prompts certain men to say that any woman who rejects them must be stuck-up, psycho, or a beyotch: Immaturity.
So what should these men do; just curl up in a ball in some hole or cave somewhere and die; out of site and out of mind?
When is an advance ever 100%, totally "welcome." Do you only allow guys to come up to you after you've been winking at them and curling your index finger for a minute straight?
Did it ever occur to you that maybe they didn't have that many friends (male or female) growing up and that's why they're "socially retarded?"
What good does calling them "creeps" behind their back (completely insulting and ruining his chances with any other girl within earshot of you) do them? Why not tell them what they did wrong and what they could do better?
"Creepy" is something women use to blow off or secure themselves from men who are generally unattractive w/o trying to come off as shallow. For all today's women's obsession with saftey, sexual assaults still aren't going down. Maybe it's becuase women target the wrong men.
I've had 90 year old grandmothers sit down next to me on the train and chat me up while some hot young 20 something gets jittery just looking at me. Yeah, it's about "saftey" alright. Women get uncomfortable around ugly/different men and assume "DANGER" and there is where "creepy" comes from.
Also, not to start a huge controversy, but it's mostly a white woman thing.
The difference between guys and girls with this subject is that we wouldn't even be talking about this subject if it was a vice versa situation which means women are way too complicated sometimes and make up problems that aren't really there. I never heard a guy saying some girl was "creepy" for looking at them...lol
It stems from fear. The reason why men don't call women creepy is because generally speaking when a creepy situation arises, men are fairly sure we'll be able to come out the other end okay. We are sure we'll be able to handle just about most situations we run into. Women on the other hand don't have that sense of security. They don't feel the ability that they will be able to handle just about every situation. This is at the heart of women seeking out companionship, friendship, and it's one thing that attracts women to strong men. (And it's the big reason why our society is giving up its freedoms for security - Society has become "feminized.") Women avoid the unknown and call it creepy when they can't. Men don't react that way. The unknown isn't creepy to us. It's adventure. Women experience fear a lot more often than men do.
I don't mean to sound misogynistic. I adore women, including this facet of their personality. This gives me reason to walk girls to their cars. They appreciate it. This fear and insecurity in women doesn't make women less of a person to me. It actually excites the hero in me and it makes me want to be a better man. I love that women are this way.
There was only one time that I know of, where a girl told someone that I was creepy. I was at a bday party at a bar and I was pretty drunk. Now, for those of my friends who know me, I can be very very drunk and easily pass as sober as I get very quiet, mellow, laidback and I don't stumble around much and I RARELY make a scene or a fool out of myself. But I'm also very BLIND when I'm drunk, and my eyes wander around because they're always moving when I'm too dizzy-drunk.
Long story short, a friend introduced me her friend and I said nice to meet you and everything, but I was effed up drunk, and the next week that same girl gave me the cold shoulder when I just tried to make friendly conversation. I thought it was rude and told my friend about it (basically said why did you bring this brat to my house party?) and she said, "well last time when you met her you looked her up and down before saying hi". Well, I explained to my friend that I was really drunk, and she understood, but I still told her to get that brat out of my house ;-)
It stems from fear. The reason why men don't call women creepy is because generally speaking when a creepy situation arises, men are fairly sure we'll be able to come out the other end okay. We are sure we'll be able to handle just about most situations we run into. Women on the other hand don't have that sense of security. They don't feel the ability that they will be able to handle just about every situation. This is at the heart of women seeking out companionship, friendship, and it's one thing that attracts women to strong men. (And it's the big reason why our society is giving up its freedoms for security - Society has become "feminized.") Women avoid the unknown and call it creepy when they can't. Men don't react that way. The unknown isn't creepy to us. It's adventure. Women experience fear a lot more often than men do.
I don't mean to sound misogynistic. I adore women, including this facet of their personality. This gives me reason to walk girls to their cars. They appreciate it. This fear and insecurity in women doesn't make women less of a person to me. It actually excites the hero in me and it makes me want to be a better man. I love that women are this way.
You don't mean to sound misogynistic, but you do. That you equate national cowardice with the feminine is an affront to all women. It's also a big dose of irony considering that by and large, it's men who have been doing the fear-mongering, starting with that idiot George Bush mentioning "tarrists" in every single speech he gave. Oh, and most terrorists are men, but we'll get to that in a minute.
First, the paternalism in this post is nauseating. I am a woman and I know dang well that I can come out of pretty much any situation a creep wants to throw at me.
Second, creeps throwing situations at me is not an adventure. It's a creep throwing a situation at me because has no other way to relate to me but to harass, stalk, stare, prowl behind, take by surprise, attack, or harm me. That is a distinct lack of power on the creep's part and is a sign not of strength, but of weakness.
Third, I don't suppose you've ever considered that some women "don't have that sense of security" because men have preyed upon women since time began through things like rape, violence, subjugation, oppression, arranged marriages, terrorism, and most organized religions.
If you really want to be a big he-man, you'll focus your attention on working with other men and with women in taking out the creeps among your sex.
But to assume that all women have fear and insecurity and therefore need your protection is not only ridiculous, it's presumptuous, out of touch with reality, insulting, and disgusting. That you get "excited" by sensing fear and insecurity in a woman is beyond reprehensible and is a maladaptive response that, quite frankly, is creepy.
You don't mean to sound misogynistic, but you do. That you equate national cowardice with the feminine is an affront to all women. It's also a big dose of irony considering that by and large, it's men who have been doing the fear-mongering, starting with that idiot George Bush mentioning "tarrists" in every single speech he gave. Oh, and most terrorists are men, but we'll get to that in a minute.
First, the paternalism in this post is nauseating. I am a woman and I know dang well that I can come out of pretty much any situation a creep wants to throw at me.
Second, creeps throwing situations at me is not an adventure. It's a creep throwing a situation at me because has no other way to relate to me but to harass, stalk, stare, prowl behind, take by surprise, attack, or harm me. That is a distinct lack of power on the creep's part and is a sign not of strength, but of weakness.
Third, I don't suppose you've ever considered that some women "don't have that sense of security" because men have preyed upon women since time began through things like rape, violence, subjugation, oppression, arranged marriages, terrorism, and most organized religions.
If you really want to be a big he-man, you'll focus your attention on working with other men and with women in taking out the creeps among your sex.
But to assume that all women have fear and insecurity and therefore need your protection is not only ridiculous, it's presumptuous, out of touch with reality, insulting, and disgusting.
To be fair tons of women on here have said they look for a Man who looks like he can protect them so obviosuly there are a decent amount of scared women..
To be fair tons of women on here have said they look for a Man who looks like he can protect them so obviosuly there are a decent amount of scared women..
That's one perspective.
Another is that there is a decent number of women who have been listening to the patriarchy for so long that they believe they can't fend for themselves. Well, if I can learn how to handle creeps and defend myself, any able-bodied woman can. Personally, there is no way I will ever rely on, never mind hope for, someone else to come and save my arse, least of all a man.
Which brings me to another thing that chaps my hide: I can't tell you how many times I've seen a supposed "hero" come in like the cavalry to "save" a woman from a bad situation, only to lord his actions over her and attempt to make her feel beholden to him for doing so. It's a form of control and domination for a certain type of man. Not all men, but a certain type.
You don't mean to sound misogynistic, but you do. That you equate national cowardice with the feminine is an affront to all women.
And yet it's true.
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It's also a big dose of irony considering that by and large, it's men who have been doing the fear-mongering, starting with that idiot George Bush mentioning "tarrists" in every single speech he gave.
Indeed. But those are the "leaders" those who make use of fear. They gave more power to the ladies knowing that the ladies falue freedom over security.
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First, the paternalism in this post is nauseating. I am a woman and I know dang well that I can come out of pretty much any situation a creep wants to throw at me.
I'm sure you can. But you are but one strong woman. Not all women are like that and in fact I would hazard a bet that most women aren't.
Also, I would be very interested to see your reaction in a life and death situation, especially if your husband or father is around.
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Second, creeps throwing situations at me is not an adventure. It's a creep throwing a situation at me because has no other way to relate to me but to harass, stalk, stare, prowl behind, take by surprise, attack, or harm me. That is a distinct lack of power on the creep's part and is a sign not of strength, but of weakness.
But we aren't talking about stalkers or of rapists or genuinely bad people. We are discussing women who mistakenly call someone creepy when he is actually not a rapist or murderer or even a guy who isn't slightly... askew, mentally. We are talking about women who jump to conclusions. I am saying that men don't tend to jump to the creepy conclusion because men don't experience fear as much.
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Third, I don't suppose you've ever considered that some women "don't have that sense of security" because men have preyed upon women since time began through things like rape, violence, subjugation, oppression, arranged marriages, terrorism, and most organized religions.
Of course I have. It makes sense that women have these fears. They aren't as strong as men are and even if they are a particularly strong woman and a great fighter (some of my best female friends are black belts and kick boxers but they still appreciate a walk to their car) they can still get jumped because the molester doesn't respect women. It doesn't matter if I respect women, which of course I do. The rapist doesn't. And even if the girl can take care of herself and kick the molester's butt isn't it more pleasant to walk to your car with a friend than to get into a fight?
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Women get uncomfortable around ugly/different men and assume "DANGER" and there is where "creepy" comes from. 