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Here are a couple.
Don't post pictures of you with other guys: Seriously, I don't care if it's your brother. You don't want a potential date to be thinking "Is she/has she slept with this dude?" It's fine if you're friends with other guys, but save that until a little bit later.
Posting pictures of you with your friends: I agree that it's best not to do this. If you wish to do it anyone, at least post them AFTER pics of you alone, so we're not trying to guess who you are. Also, be aware that the friends you are with will reflect on you.
You will attract what you present: With few exceptions, the type of image you present will determine who contacts you. Post pictures of you dressed like a **** and you're going to get guys looking for booty calls. Present yourself with class, and you'll attract class.
I agree. I always get compliments on mine, but it took time to get it right. I think the key is a good balance of what you want and what you have to offer. It really does have to flow.
Neb, maybe you can have someone else write one up for you. I'd be happy to help.
Thanks for the offer, but describing what I want is something pretty personal. I used to do some freelance writing, so I am not failing in that part.
Personally, I beware of profiles that are too "done." I don't like to get too salesy, just put out basics, and if someone wants to contact me, they can and get to know me. I think if one puts everything they can in a profile, it's overwhelming.
Yes....I signed up for an online dating site like 2 months ago (I have since deleted it) and every single one of my messages from females was "wow, you look cute" or something to that effect. Not once did someone ask me a question in relation to my profile.
I agree with your comments, but I tried online dating and posting what I was looking for in a guy- among other things, I want someone who wants marriage and children. Ok, so that's brutal honesty, but it scares guys off and they don't respond, because it seems the only guys out there, when asked on their profile if they want children, either say "ask me later", "I'll tell you later", "open", blah blah blah, I think anything other than "yes" means "NO"!!
what do I make of this??
That would be a red flag to me. I understand that it will be asked early, because it is very important to most women, but the timing is important.
Most guys don't like to be in the situation where they're constantly asked questions about the daily/weekly/monthly status of the relationship, i.e., "Can we move in together? Where is this relationship going?" I would probably perceive your question to be an early indication of this.
I agree with your comments, but I tried online dating and posting what I was looking for in a guy- among other things, I want someone who wants marriage and children. Ok, so that's brutal honesty, but it scares guys off and they don't respond, because it seems the only guys out there, when asked on their profile if they want children, either say "ask me later", "I'll tell you later", "open", blah blah blah, I think anything other than "yes" means "NO"!!
what do I make of this??
I think you did the right thing. As a male, I appreciate such honesty. No one wants to waste time on someone who's looking for something different. If I'm just looking for someone to hang out with and you're looking for something that could lead to marriage, at least I know you're not right for me. That's better than meeting, spending weeks or months dating, and then discovering we're looking for different things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo
I think to casually mention that someday you see yourself as a mother and married is one thing. But to frame it in such a demanding desperate way like you have the shackles all set up in the basement, yes you will have men fleeing left and right.
I disagree. All she said is that she wants to meet someone who wants marriage and children. There's nothing demanding or desperate in being up front about what you want. If anything, that shows respect because you're letting a potential partner know what your long-term goals are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1
I don't like to get too salesy, just put out basics, and if someone wants to contact me, they can and get to know me. I think if one puts everything they can in a profile, it's overwhelming.
You don't have to list everything, but sticking to just the basics won't get you anywhere. Your profile won't stand out among so many similar ones and people won't want to contact you because it'll look like you didn't put much effort into writing anything. I know it's hard to write about yourself and it feels weird to sell yourself to an audience, but that's no different than what you do with a resume.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory
That would be a red flag to me. I understand that it will be asked early, because it is very important to most women, but the timing is important.
Most guys don't like to be in the situation where they're constantly asked questions about the daily/weekly/monthly status of the relationship, i.e., "Can we move in together? Where is this relationship going?" I would probably perceive your question to be an early indication of this.
See I wouldn't perceive it that way at all. She's simply being upfront about what her goals are. It's no different than if said, "I already have kids and don't wish to have any more." I'm just saving the reader from having to ask. So if a woman says she's looking for someone who's interested in someday getting married and having a family, that doesn't mean she's looking to get married tomorrow. It just means she doesn't want to be contacted by people who are just looking for something short-term.
See I wouldn't perceive it that way at all. She's simply being upfront about what her goals are. It's no different than if said, "I already have kids and don't wish to have any more." I'm just saving the reader from having to ask. So if a woman says she's looking for someone who's interested in someday getting married and having a family, that doesn't mean she's looking to get married tomorrow. It just means she doesn't want to be contacted by people who are just looking for something short-term.
I understand this perspective.
The devil is in the details, I guess. I've had dates that felt like an interrogation, or a psychological exam. I've had relationships that took a sudden turn into babyland - so maybe I'm a little gunshy.
The devil is in the details, I guess. I've had dates that felt like an interrogation, or a psychological exam. I've had relationships that took a sudden turn into babyland - so maybe I'm a little gunshy.
Agreed. If you want to settle down and have kids that's fine and you should admit that, but you have to word it in a way that doesn't make you sound like a stage 5 clingon looking to get married just to be married.
Thanks for the offer, but describing what I want is something pretty personal. I used to do some freelance writing, so I am not failing in that part.
Personally, I beware of profiles that are too "done." I don't like to get too salesy, just put out basics, and if someone wants to contact me, they can and get to know me. I think if one puts everything they can in a profile, it's overwhelming.
But thanks again.
Believe it or not, writing skills are not enough to write a winning ad. I didn't mean to imply you aren't good at writing. It's been a lesson in marketing for me; there's what you want, how to present it, how to express what you don't want without having to say it (you don't want to be negative and nit-picky), your target audience, discouraging those who aren't in it.....it sounds complicated, but it takes a while to really get it down to where it flows and you start seeing results almost immediately.
I know the frustrations, but I also know the rewards. I'm a huge advocate for online dating, however, it took time to get it right. I know some don't have that kind of time or even the patience for it. It's not for everyone, surely.
Yes....I signed up for an online dating site like 2 months ago (I have since deleted it) and every single one of my messages from females was "wow, you look cute" or something to that effect. Not once did someone ask me a question in relation to my profile.
Of all the responses I got, about 5% actually made it apparent that they had read and understood what I wrote in my profile and used the clues I gave to try to get to know more about me. About 90% were one liners or offers to hook up that night.
I had to delete the photos from my profile because I was just fed up with the type of guys who were using their shotgun approach on me. I just don't think the odds are in favor of women that they will find a decent man on a dating site.
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