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I dont want a guy chasing me... sounds like he is a stalker... Sometimes guys dont just give their attention to a girl who is pretty but they consider a girl who has tough attitude.. someone who can do more than a guy can.. someone who is challenging for short..
This is for Ladies, but men can respond as well. Just make sure you tell us whether you are male or female when you post.
Okay, Ladies, so say a man is after you. We know that men are instantly attracted to women, so without notice, you have one in pursuit. At first he looks like your average Joe, but after a few dates, you start to fall for him. He is paying for everything, taking you to swank dinners, and sending flowers. In short, he is treating you like a queen. Now the challenge is how to keep him interested.
What is your strategy? Let's discuss!
It depends what the the woman's end goal is. If she is just planning to have a mad passionate affair, then I think she knows that the romance will end at some point. So without a strategy, the fling would run its course in a month or a season, but I suppose she could draw it out for as long as a few years. Not being too available helps. I wouldn't have sex with him right away either. I don't know about never answering my phone on Friday and Saturday nights though. That's seems kind of contrived to me as I've never been one that is addicted to going out with friends on those nights. Otherwise, I've never been interested in having flings and affairs.
But if a man were after me and I thought that he was long term relationship material (for me), then I would work to get to know him in depth. To find out what his real and inner passions are, what he dreamed about doing when he was a child and what he still longs to do. I would want to be his best friend and confidant. I would want to make him laugh and feel good about himself. I would want him to know that I think that he is a special man to me and that I appreciate the person he is. I would find out what his favorite foods are and cook them for him, or try to find out some new restaurants that have a menu that he likes and introduce them to him. Also, I would not be an open book to him. While I wouldn't keep secrets from him, I would not try to tell him my life story right away. I would want to be that great novel that has many chapters, that the reader doesn't want to rush through the pages, but rather be savouring each word and phrase. Hopefully, I would seem to him to be unique and different from all other women in his life and in a good way.
This is for Ladies, but men can respond as well. Just make sure you tell us whether you are male or female when you post.
Okay, Ladies, so say a man is after you. We know that men are instantly attracted to women, so without notice, you have one in pursuit. At first he looks like your average Joe, but after a few dates, you start to fall for him. He is paying for everything, taking you to swank dinners, and sending flowers. In short, he is treating you like a queen. Now the challenge is how to keep him interested.
What is your strategy? Let's discuss!
To start, I don't really like the idea of "he's paying for everything" etc. But, what keeps a guy in the preliminary stage? Imo, having your own trip. This translates as a lack of neediness, because it is. The men I have dated always apprecitate this. They were drawn to my lack of availability. I'm married now, so it's definately different, but I know it's still one of the characteristics that my husband appreciates. He likes that I have my own thing going on.
This is for Ladies, but men can respond as well. Just make sure you tell us whether you are male or female when you post.
Okay, Ladies, so say a man is after you. We know that men are instantly attracted to women, so without notice, you have one in pursuit. At first he looks like your average Joe, but after a few dates, you start to fall for him. He is paying for everything, taking you to swank dinners, and sending flowers. In short, he is treating you like a queen. Now the challenge is how to keep him interested.
What is your strategy? Let's discuss!
Female here...
Well I was engaged after 3 weeks and have been married for almost 21 years now and it's still all good.
We just clicked. We have great sex and are great friends. I think if you have to worry about keeping someone interested, you might already have a problem. Relationships evolve both mentally and physically and that in it's self can be interesting. Experiment with new things as you learn to trust someone and open yourself up and always make sure you never take someone for granted.
Go to the library and check out and read The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night translated by Richard F. Burton.
That book is available online. Basically it is about a man's wife who keeps him interested by telling him a story every night that she does not finish and promises to continue the next night. This way she holds his interest. He keeps coming back for more.
All the other virgins he married, he did away with the next morning after he had sex with them.
Show that you are ALSO interested and make an effort. Listen to what he likes and then do it without being asked, surprise him.
If he likes neck\shoulder rubs...give them without being asked.
If he is having a deck party, offer to come over early and help set-up, help clean-up etc.
Just do things that help him WITHOUT being asked.
It's like flowers. It's sweet that you get surprised with flowers...how sweet is it if you have to ask or if he just gave you $50 and told you to order them for yourself?
Key point: What are his needs, what are his desires....do them without being asked and you will score enormous points.
Ha-ha, been there, done that in my stupid youth! All it guarantees is his losing interest in you! But if somebody cares to top the boring, non-challenging doormat list, she's welcome to follow your advice.
I think not sleeping with the guy on the first night is one way to grab his attention! That does not mean that you have to hold out for a year but a couple of dates or even a few weeks is fine! Women need to learn to not give it up so soon!
I also think that keeping yourself busy but available is another way. Guys don't want women who are going to be too dependent so make sure you have your own life and your own independence.
I do not play games. That's a waste of time.
I didn't played any games with the man that's now my hubby, and in only nine months he proposed me. Reason? "You are not like the other women who play games like they were some kind of worthless price that would leave me for some wannabe gangsta, you're a real woman who treated me with respect the same way I did with you. You listen to me, you play video games with me, even if I have to listen to that horrible Beatles music you like so much; you like Irom Maiden as much as I do, though, but you hate Beavis and Butthead. Just say yes, ok."
I've known for a really long time that I wanted someone obedient, friendly, who shared similar interest with me, with a steady job (preferable someone working or lower middle class), and good with kids. I found someone like that; he's not perfect (nobody is perfect), but he's excellent for me.
And?
Did I call him all the time? No. We were both busy with college.
Did I stop with my hobbies and passtimes? No. In fact, we have similar interests.
Did I had sex with him on the first date? No. I waited almost two months because I knew things were for the long run.
Did I stop seeing my friends because of him? No. In fact, he became friends with my friends.
Marrying him stopped me from studying and working? No. In fact, now that I married him college (grad school) is closer and I don't have to pay room and board.
Marrying him made me completely dependent on him? No. I pay for my things.
Why play games?! You're not a 13 year old, right?
Hey wolfie, if you want to troll me, go ahead.
Last edited by jay_jay26; 07-01-2009 at 11:06 PM..
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