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Wow. I agree with worth. Why can't he be just a good guy? You know, there are those of us out there who respect women. Probably most of the men. Why do a few bad apples have to ruin it for the whole gender? 'I dated one guy in the past who was an ass, so all guys have to be asses.' Wrong. Why doesn't the OP try the first move? Maybe the guy is shy?
Why does a guy wanting sex equate to him being a bad guy? You're getting fussy about people making presumptions, but at the same time you're insinuating that a guy that puts the moves on a girl doesn't respect her? It's sexual interest. Guys have it and girls have it.
From your view point, the only difference between a guy that respects a woman and a guy that doesn't is if he makes the first move or not. IMO, that doesn't make much sense.
Why does a guy wanting sex equate to him being a bad guy? You're getting fussy about people making presumptions, but at the same time you're insinuating that a guy that puts the moves on a girl doesn't respect her?
She didn't say that. She is like a lot of us women. We want a little romance in our lives, a nice dinner, some wine. It's exhausting to have to fight off men's sexual advances all the time, not to mention really annoying.
Well, he's seeking some sort of arrangement, but who is to know what kind exactly... Impotent? STD and honest (doubtful)? Married and seeking companionship? Guess the possibilities are endless.
While I'm not familiar with this site, the name of it does imply less than serious deals.
I agree. I'm curious to know what kind of arrangement this man is seeking.
I agree. I'm curious to know what kind of arrangement this man is seeking.
It's a "sugar daddy" dating site, so it's basically an Anna Nicole type of thing. PasstheChocolate did say he was retired. I'm picturing a guy in his 60s or 70s who is carefully watching her nice round thighs and the slow sway of her hips as she moves across the room to pour them another glass of vino.
Nothing wrong with enjoying the dinners and wine. Just know that at some point, he may be looking for a return on investment. If you don't want to get too involved, you could masturbate in front of him and that may be enough to keep the wine flowing for a while. Anything else could exhaust him.
These are tough times financially for a lot of women, so the dinners are tempting I am sure.
Funny how a man who acts like a gentleman, enjoys romance and kissing but does not pursue sex in th first half dozen dates is either married, gay, STD ridden or a serial killer. The dating scene must be brutal out there.
I'll take the glass is half full approach. Perhaps his religious beliefs oppose pre-marital sex. Maybe he is withholding further advances because he really likes you and does not want to presume too much too quickly.
Regardless, enjoy the company and best of luck.
He's not really religious, though he has his faith. I'd like to think he is savoring every visit; he seems to thoroughly enjoy everything he does and only does what he enjoys. Hard to explain, a very rare spirit but a refreshing one.
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Originally Posted by FourOhFive
Wow. I agree with worth. Why can't he be just a good guy? You know, there are those of us out there who respect women. Probably most of the men. Why do a few bad apples have to ruin it for the whole gender? 'I dated one guy in the past who was an ass, so all guys have to be asses.' Wrong. Why doesn't the OP try the first move? Maybe the guy is shy?
I am not a first move kinda gal. And I really don't think I wanna start with this one. I get the feeling he is used to women throwing themselves at him.
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Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!
I'm concerned he might be married.
The fact that he lives in a different state is a tip-off.
Can you find out where he lives and do some snooping?
He already gave me his info, including his home number and he encourages me to call any time I like. He seems legit. He may not be, but I have had worse offline so I ain't skerred.
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Originally Posted by JustJulia
I agree. I'm curious to know what kind of arrangement this man is seeking.
This is my take on the whole online thing. If you are specific about what you are looking for, someone is bound to want the same thing. I went to a sugardaddy dating site because I want a successful man, again, because it represents stability and that means less drama. I'm not rich but I enjoy certain indulgences that I have had to give up in the past for "love". Either way, I laid out what I was looking for and made it clear that I was not looking for an allowance or to be lavished with gifts. The response was pretty good, and I've met some really nice men but this guy really has my attention.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof!
It's a "sugar daddy" dating site, so it's basically an Anna Nicole type of thing. PasstheChocolate did say he was retired. I'm picturing a guy in his 60s or 70s who is carefully watching her nice round thighs and the slow sway of her hips as she moves across the room to pour them another glass of vino.
He's 51.
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Nothing wrong with enjoying the dinners and wine. Just know that at some point, he may be looking for a return on investment.
I suppose that means he is expecting to get laid at some point. Duh. Did you think my plan was to just have dinner and good conversation with the man I choose?
Quote:
If you don't want to get too involved, you could masturbate in front of him and that may be enough to keep the wine flowing for a while. Anything else could exhaust him.
That's very similar to the responses I get from the young kids I turn away, who barely have any hair on their peas and need a map to get to the holy land.
that's very similar to the responses i get from the young kids i turn away, who barely have any hair on their peas and need a map to get to the holy land.
This is my take on the whole online thing. If you are specific about what you are looking for, someone is bound to want the same thing. I went to a sugardaddy dating site because I want a successful man, again, because it represents stability and that means less drama. I'm not rich but I enjoy certain indulgences that I have had to give up in the past for "love". Either way, I laid out what I was looking for and made it clear that I was not looking for an allowance or to be lavished with gifts. The response was pretty good, and I've met some really nice men but this guy really has my attention.
At first, I didn't understand why you went to a "sugardaddy" site if you didn't want an allowance or a bunch of presents. I mean, that's what those sites sound like they are for. I haven't ever been on dating sites like eHarmony or Match.com ... are those just no good for finding a successful man? You say you aren't looking to be a kept woman, so I assume the indulgences you enjoy are more like dinners at nice restaurants, concerts, the theater, maybe some travel. Maybe the guys on Match lie about doing those things or look down on women who want them?
I'm not knocking what you're doing, especially since it seems to be working for you so far. Like I said, I'm just curious. Do you know what he was expecting? It seems to me that, because this is a sugardaddy site, he would have been expecting to date someone who wanted some nice jewelry or something.
Has he told you that this relationship is exclusive? If not, don't assume it is. Maybe your function is good company and conversation, and he's got somebody else for the horizontal stuff.
At first, I didn't understand why you went to a "sugardaddy" site if you didn't want an allowance or a bunch of presents. I mean, that's what those sites sound like they are for. I haven't ever been on dating sites like eHarmony or Match.com ... are those just no good for finding a successful man? You say you aren't looking to be a kept woman, so I assume the indulgences you enjoy are more like dinners at nice restaurants, concerts, the theater, maybe some travel. Maybe the guys on Match lie about doing those things or look down on women who want them?
I'm not knocking what you're doing, especially since it seems to be working for you so far. Like I said, I'm just curious. Do you know what he was expecting? It seems to me that, because this is a sugardaddy site, he would have been expecting to date someone who wanted some nice jewelry or something.
I completely understand why people question it.
I wouldn't do eHarmony because I'm not willing to jump hoops and answer a gazillion questions to get approved, plus I'm probably not conventional enough for that site. I tried Match.com a while back with little luck.
A lot of men use their money to compensate for what they may be lacking in looks, youth or confidence. They are really great guys, but they're not so lucky in love. There are men who don't have the time for something full time and feel the money affords them their freedom. There is always a trade off, but it is not limited to the shallow desire for tons of young women on their arm (or in their bed) to make them look good. About 80% of the men I have communicated with are settling for what their money can get them. Those are the guys I am targeting.
I love salt and pepper and they are all over those sites. I want a successful man, that's a given on those sites. I also don't want something full time right now, but I want something real and worthwhile that has the potential for long term. The odds are good for me there. I am a rarity there so it works in my favor. And I'm in no hurry, so I can be choosy.
ETA: He wants what I am looking for, but was also open to passing time with someone in the meantime. He hasn't been on there long.
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