Please help me figure this one out!! (boyfriend, girlfriend, how to)
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So, I recently reconnected with a friend from high school. We are both in our early twenties. Kinda had feelings in high school, but I was in a relationship. Fast forward a few years, and we meet for coffee. I thought I was being normal- I'm just a flirt by nature, nothing new. He send me a text later on saying that he felt there was something there--- I said maybe there is?! Problem, however, he has a girlfriend. He loves her, but it questioning whether he's IN LOVE with her. So, we have talked a bit more, texting and stuff, and now things seem a bit awkward. He was too busy to meet up for coffee, which is understandable as he is in college and works a lot. However, now that the feelings are out there, he is avoiding me because he has feelings and is torn between his girlfriend and myself? Or is he just avoiding me? I'm unsure of HOW much to ask him about his reasoning for not being able to meet up, but I don't want to sound like a nag. I love him as a friend, and always want to be friends, however if he was single, I know there could be a good relationship between us.
Sorry this is so long, but any thoughts?! Thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post!
Who knows what he is thinking? It sounds to me like he is uncomfortable with his feelings for you and possibly the flirting. He is in a relationship. I don't put a lot of stock in the "friends" thing when one person admits to having feelings. Bad idea. He's distancing himself from you.
If he breaks up with his girlfriend and wants to see you again, great. If not, leave him alone.
So, I recently reconnected with a friend from high school. We are both in our early twenties. Kinda had feelings in high school, but I was in a relationship. Fast forward a few years, and we meet for coffee. I thought I was being normal- I'm just a flirt by nature, nothing new. He send me a text later on saying that he felt there was something there--- I said maybe there is?! Problem, however, he has a girlfriend. He loves her, but it questioning whether he's IN LOVE with her. So, we have talked a bit more, texting and stuff, and now things seem a bit awkward. He was too busy to meet up for coffee, which is understandable as he is in college and works a lot. However, now that the feelings are out there, he is avoiding me because he has feelings and is torn between his girlfriend and myself? Or is he just avoiding me? I'm unsure of HOW much to ask him about his reasoning for not being able to meet up, but I don't want to sound like a nag. I love him as a friend, and always want to be friends, however if he was single, I know there could be a good relationship between us.
Sorry this is so long, but any thoughts?! Thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post!
Personally I don't get the distinction between LOVING someone and being IN LOVE with someone when it comes to romantic relationships. Sure there's a difference when it comes to your family, close friends, etc. ... you aren't "in love" with them you "love" them. However in a romantic relationship it seems to me they are interchangeable, yet many people do make this distinction. I guess I am the odd one out ...
Anyway, I think the situation with his avoiding you is that he is involved with another girl and he intends to stay that way and he does not want to cheat on her.
I think your situation of "loving him as a friend" but "knowing there could be a good relationship" is that you are really interested in having a relationship with him and would like it if his girlfriend was out of the picture, not that you are actually only looking to sustain a platonic friendship, or you wouldn't be twisting your brain into a pretzel trying to figure out why he has no time to meet in person.
My advice would be to leave him alone and look for someone else to date.
If he's distancing himself he's definitely unsure of his feelings toward you and although you have a past it may not be enough to make him leave his current situation.
Did you know he was involved before you started flirting with him?
Probably rekindled some feelings on his side, but you don't want to be the reason for their split.
Just chock it up as experience, keep him on the backburner (in case if in the future he breaks up with her) and let him know that you know he's involved and won't tread on his relationship and want to remain friends.
I would just remain his friend and not worry or wonder why he couldn't meet for coffee. Sometimes we tend to make something out of nothing. Next time you are around him just be your normal self and go light on the flirting. If you don't push him away, he will probably always be your friend.
So, I recently reconnected with a friend from high school. We are both in our early twenties. Kinda had feelings in high school, but I was in a relationship. Fast forward a few years, and we meet for coffee. I thought I was being normal- I'm just a flirt by nature, nothing new. He send me a text later on saying that he felt there was something there--- I said maybe there is?! Problem, however, he has a girlfriend. He loves her, but it questioning whether he's IN LOVE with her. So, we have talked a bit more, texting and stuff, and now things seem a bit awkward. He was too busy to meet up for coffee, which is understandable as he is in college and works a lot. However, now that the feelings are out there, he is avoiding me because he has feelings and is torn between his girlfriend and myself? Or is he just avoiding me? I'm unsure of HOW much to ask him about his reasoning for not being able to meet up, but I don't want to sound like a nag. I love him as a friend, and always want to be friends, however if he was single, I know there could be a good relationship between us.
Sorry this is so long, but any thoughts?! Thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post!
He has a girlfriend. He's just being frisky...that's it. MOVE ON.
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