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This is a long one... please respond only if you read the whole thing and have something of assistance to say...
So, I am trying REALLY HARD to go with the flow and just take the relationship as it goes. Jan will be our 1 year mark and I'm finding myself missing the good ol' days. That honey moon phase is fading and I'm noticing little things that just do not happen anymore and during high hormone times I actually get angry. I get the feeling he's avoiding straight answer questions and not putting in enough effort into our relationship, we're just kind of floating along. We're both 30 and in school. Between this I work fulltime and I've been having a really hard time at work making things worse.
Last weekend before he left to go see his parents I wanted to discuss intimacy with him. It's been over a week now and well.. i'm not cool with that. I need to feel that connection and when nothing happened I wanted to talk to him. When I told him this, he had school work to do and blah blah blah. I let it slide until that night where I knew he'd be done. Instead of wanting to talk to me he wanted to go out for drinks with me. I denied the offer upon meeting him in the parking lot. I told him again that I simply wanted to talk to him and I was not about to do it in the parking lot of a bar. This should be an indication something is wrong. He never offered to go somewhere private he just said you can come in with me if you want. I feel like he doesn't want me, i'm just kind of a string being pulled along until something better arrives. He went in for drinks and I left alone with tears. We didn't talk at all this weekend except for a minor spat via text. He had told me yes I do know why you were angry but I told him I didn't want to talk to him via text or phone. When he returned yesterday he asked if I wanted to "talk" and I said no, only because my girlfriend and I had been out earlier and I was exhausted. No words exchanged between us since then.
We usually have a great relationship, but for some reason this week really bothered me and I'm very upset. I do not think he's taking this seriously, I want him to show some effort and I suppose i'm not really sure how to tell him that without coming off as a total prick.
Maybe one of you can offer some 3rd party assistance here. Unfortunately it's only a one-sided story because well, I haven't had a chance to really find out if something is going on with him that he hasn't told me or whatever.
Our relationship is not pushy. Neither one of us push eachother to do anything. I give him more than enough space. Trust is something very strong between us. Nagging is not something that happens.
virgode - when I asked him that night in the parking lot if he wanted me to come in with him, I wanted to hear him say that he wanted me to. He gave me every answer but that one. This past week getting him to answer any question it gets diverted into you can do, or if you want..
The man is not a mind reader. He doesn't know what the 'correct' response is.
Men and women are very different and you are asking a lot of him if you are expecting him to come up with the exact response you are looking for, in the exact words that you deem appropriate.
At least give the guy a clue of what you want to hear from him otherwise he really doesn't stand a chance!
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