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Not directed at you but: If many/most females would stop critiquing every little menial Man fault that would be a tiny start also about $$$ requirements even though said in a round-about way.
Look at the threads lately about these types things and the "deal-breaker" garbage that has been posted by female posters.
Wow, so many answers and none on track. Please, read the original post again. This thread refers to people who are not married who want to be. My question is how to tell them what I can plainly see would be a turnoff.
One last item, I guess the next step, I'll have to stand outside and hold a sign.. maybe that'll work..
Ya gotta play the game, Mike. Act like the last thing ya want is to be married. That's when true love will find you. Kinda like when ya lose your keys or your wallet or the remote. When you stop looking for it, there it is. Good luck, Mike!
The man I am seeing is also insulin dependent, so I seriously doubt that is a factor. He doesn't mind that I need a nebulizer and inhalers to help me breathe every day, either, nor that I walk with a cane - a hot pink one.
What I am seeing are patterns of selfishness. I guess from being alone for so long, but still, an open attitude for the interests of other people or at least a variety of interests would really help.
The man I know is interested in hard rock music and loud, hard rock. There is no talking while he is playing his music because that is his comfort zone. Unfortunately, if he shuts another person down while he enjoys his loud music, how can he expect to get to know a woman or let her get to know him?
He also dislikes anything Asian. Clothing, home decor, food - if it has an Asian taste or air about it, he considers it garbage and not worth his time.
He believes in casual dress and will not put a tie on for anyone or anything - including meeting the parents or friends of anyone he is seeing.
He talks, non-stop about rock music and musicians. There is no room for anyone to be interested in classical or country or blues or hip hop or oldies.
He is loyal to the make of car he drives and all others are junk. That is not only offensive, it is hurtful.
Yeah, he has a whole lot of room for improvement.
Congratulations. That is my point.
I bring this to the table because HE (note to other posters, the person I refer to is A MAN that I have NO romantic interest in) asked me what it was about him or his lifestyle that would thwart others from wanting to be close to him. My question is how to address it with him. Would you be blatantly honest or sugar coat it or walk away? Has anyone come across this before and handled it?
OK. Now I get it. Yes, if asked, I would have no hesitation in telling him honestly but not hurtfully.
OP You mean like "Honey if you want to meet a nice man, you need to hit the treadmill, lay off the fried food and lose the cigs!" I'd only say something if you think they would be willing to work on the solution.
Wanting to 'be married' seems like a delusioned place in life as opposed to wanting to find someone who has a mutual relationship of caring and trust. But I assume you were paraphrasing.
Just saw the example OP was citing. If he asked tell him he acts like a 15 yr old redneck and many women dont find that attractive. Close mindedness and an unwillingness to dress up on occasion are terribly immature.
Speaking as someone who's never been married but would like to be someday, I don't see anything majorly wrong with me that would make me a bad husband. When people ask why I'm not married, I have a very simple answer. I just haven't met the right girl yet. I'd rather be single the rest of my life than end up married to the wrong person. When I meet someone else who's also never been married, I don't do what so many people do and infer there's something wrong with them. But I have met some people where it's fairly obvious why they're still single. Looks, personality, etc. And then there are people you look at and wonder why any sane person ever decided to marry them.
Good post. I'm still single at 41. I was engaged once, to the wrong guy who turned out to be more of a snob than I am and also a cheater (which I am not, and never have been). I've had other relationships, but to have continued them to marriage would have been a huge mistake and ended in divorce for various reasons, some of those were ended by me, some by the guys.
My current boyfriend thinks all my past boyfriends are idiots for giving me up. I'm really glad he didn't "judge" me for still being single.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oildog
OP You mean like "Honey if you want to meet a nice man, you need to hit the treadmill, lay off the fried food and lose the cigs!" I'd only say something if you think they would be willing to work on the solution.
Wanting to 'be married' seems like a delusioned place in life as opposed to wanting to find someone who has a mutual relationship of caring and trust. But I assume you were paraphrasing.
Good post. I want to be married, but only if it means to someone I love. I would never get married just for the sake of it.
None of the guys I've dated have ever given me good reasons for breaking up. They've all said I'm not fat, I'm pretty, smart, yada yada yada. I've asked friends and acquaintances and they've yet to give me a good reason either. I figure my unwillingness to settle for marrying someone I don't love is the main reason.
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and also a cheater (which I am not, and never have been). I've had other relationships, but to have continued them to marriage would have been a huge mistake and ended in divorce for various reasons, some of those were ended by me, some by the guys. 
