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Well it seems from NJGuy's other posts that he'd like someone he can dominate. And if he perceives that American women are after his money just wait till he finds that supposedlly submissive foreigner.
Hmmm, dominator is not the vibe I get from his posts. He seems pretty sensitive to me, albeit very upset when it comes to gender. I suspect that these guys are looking for women that won't dominate them, but will still take care of, perhaps even mother them. I don't know what type of women that could fill that role.
Believe me, I can tell you from first hand experience that women make out much worse in divorce generally ending up in poverty. What you hear about in places like California is not anywhere near the norm. These days there is no such thing as alimony and if there is it's more like two years of a couple of hundred dollars a month. The same with child support, it's very low. Men definately make out better, no matter how much they like to complain, while women have an extreme struggle.
Marriage in many cases is also better for men. Women oftentimes still have to work, take care of the house, and the children, and look after the man. They may think they're getting away easy not being married but their stability factor goes way down and their personal risk factor goes way up.
Men who have children fare worse than women who have children in divorce, and that has been identified in a number of books. They wind up paying for the kids household and their own. The chief reason for this disparity is the no-fault divorce laws and the mother-favored laws that put men in contention for custody. Married men do not have to pay for their children's education but divorced men in some states are obligated to pay. Those few women who wind up in financial arrears would not be saved with alimony checks.
If women are tolerating men who are not pitching in to help with the household, their vision of what was important in a relationship was skewed far before the couple walked down the aisle. And as far as the argument people change - yeah, many people change for the better. And some hold onto the feet of gods, hoping to not mature, to maintain necrophiliac lifestyles and habits. A really warped state of affairs altogether, for men and women who are valuing the wrong things in picking mates.
Sorry, that hasn't been what I have seen. In the several cases I'm aware of the man didn't come anywhere close to supporting the former wife's household with the children in it. Most of the women were lucky if they got enough money to pay for the kids basic groceries, that is not to mention the costs of the kids clothes, daycare, hobbies, toys, activites, extra lessons, school pictures, and extra expense of having them in the home and maintaining one, etc. this 90% was borne by the mother who had custody. I have also seen men who complained when they had to pay out $200 a month total for two children - that was until they encountered me.
I have also seen cases where the man got custody too and most times they needed extensive family help to deal with the responsibility. It is not an easy thing raising kids in either situation.
Well it seems from NJGuy's other posts that he'd like someone he can dominate. And if he perceives that American women are after his money just wait till he finds that supposedlly submissive foreigner.
Nope don't want to dominate, I believe in 50-50.
I'm not looking for any female.
I speak of what is happening to marriages and what judgments are made against Men, and some take it that I'm against American females. What I am also saying is that many to most American females are getting the judgments in their favor while those same judgments take the Men to the cleaners many to most times.
If you ever met me your opinion of me would change for the positive.
I'm sensitive to what's happening all around me and not just going to sit there and say nothing.
Sure there's exceptions, but the odds are against happy long term marriages as the divorce stats don't lie as well as the ones that stay married a good portion of them are not happy - not my doing but am not going to ignore that either.
I have seen women taken to the cleaners too. Take me for example who lost everything. I'm not sure that men don't think that splitting money or assets in any way is being taken to the cleaners. Ideally there should be some fairness to it (and fewer lawyers). I'm aware of a man who felt that way when he had to pay for his wife's (not X either) medicine when she was dying because she had neglected to get medical insurance for herself. Clearly in his mind none of this was his responsibility, he was being taken to the cleaners.
I don't think you're a bad guy at all. Just trying to get you to be aware of things from the other side.
I wouldn't be afraid of marriage because of what's happening with other people. Chances are if you take your time to assess your compatability and future hopes and dreams along with both of your values you can be very happy longterm. Too many women jump in for the sake of the institution or because someone has asked them and too many men for the other benefits.
I have seen women taken to the cleaners too. Take me for example who lost everything. I'm not sure that men don't think that splitting money or assets in any way is being taken to the cleaners. Ideally there should be some fairness to it (and fewer lawyers). I'm aware of a man who felt that way when he had to pay for his wife's (not X either) medicine when she was dying because she had neglected to get medical insurance for herself. Clearly in his mind none of this was his responsibility, he was being taken to the cleaners.
Redisca provided a few studies addressing possible disparities in some other thread. Her data showed favor didn't go towards women, which is a surprise for many.
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I wouldn't be afraid of marriage because of what's happening with other people. Chances are if you take your time to assess your compatability and future hopes and dreams along with both of your values you can be very happy longterm. Too many women jump in for the sake of the institution or because someone has asked them and too many men for the other benefits.
Agreed. Ideally, societal pressure for marriage will wane in the future. The whole concept of leaving home at 16-18, go to college, get married, and have kids- in that order as a rubric for western life is bologna. Life is too short and precious to be droned through.
re some of the female posts on this thread - appear to express that women feel that they are doing men a big favor by marrying them and divorcing them, men are somehow lucky for this experience. in my business practices whenever i contract with someone that feels that are doing me a favor-- its guna be a bad contract.
re some of the female posts on this thread - appear to express that women feel that they are doing men a big favor by marrying them and divorcing them, men are somehow lucky for this experience. in my business practices whenever i contract with someone that feels that are doing me a favor-- its guna be a bad contract.
No, women are simply making a defense that they are not pure evil and at fault for all the world's ills as many men on this board like to imply.
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Enthused?
