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They lack emotional connection and sex. If she brings it up again I would just suggest to look into couple's therapy or personal, because you do not want to give the wrong advice and make her fly off the handle.
Marriage, work, kids, life..etc. can be an everyday strain and couples can end up living like "roommates". It is not that they sleep in separate bedrooms or not go out together. It mainly happens when the focus is lost on the relationship itself and this can happen very easily with so many other distractions (as mentioned above).
You friend needs to talk with her husband and get away together for the weekend to reconnect with each other. It can do wonders!
I have been married for 16 years and hubby and I make the time to reconnect as husband and wife...not as often as we would like but it's important that we do it. Good luck to your friend!
I've been married for 18 years and really got married young and consider myself a survivor with my husband and family (4 kids in 4 years on birth control) Some call that blessed some call it cursed. I say I was blessed with a twist of humor. It was so terribly difficult in our beginning. I will say that I sometimes wish for those days where we had time to be together even though we were broke financially. All the demands of our society make it difficult to enjoy each other when I can hardly even get a vacation from work and neither can he. We get the time but then work calls us about problems they cant solve. Irritating. Problems everywhere! To solve! It gets old. We have to focus on US only or it gets really tough to enjoy it. The way work speeds up to be more multitasking and super fast paced results now just really is no good for anyone. I have two Blackberry's and so does my husband. That's sad! We have money now. Oh yea! Just need some time again. I say we live like fancy rats now!
My unmarried parents lived together like that for years. Most of my memories of them are in their own room and with their own social lives. They split a few years after I had already moved out but my younger brother was still at home. Evidently when they ever did anything fun together or enjoyed each others company, I was too young to remember.
Living like roommates is when you just go through the motions of sharing space together. You divide the chores and maybe even expenses, you have seperate friends, and spend more time in seperate rooms of the house as opposed to together.
My bf and I have this quite a bit. We are often in the same room, but doing separate things e.g. he is on the computer and I am watching tv. We have never had a shared bank account and we divide all expenses. When I have a night out, I do it alone, he has no interest in meeting my friends.
My bf and I have this quite a bit. We are often in the same room, but doing separate things e.g. he is on the computer and I am watching tv. We have never had a shared bank account and we divide all expenses. When I have a night out, I do it alone, he has no interest in meeting my friends.
I think life, childrearing, career stuff, etc., a million other things can get in the way of keeping the focus always on nurturing your relationship, and you sometimes have no choice but to let things coast from time to time (I'm thinking specifically in long-term, serious relationships).
I think that if the foundation of the relationship is strong to begin with, and built on all the things a healthy marriage should be built on, a marriage can be strong enough to withstand some of this type of ebb and flow. I know my mom would probably tell me that, while raising four kids, and running a small mom and pop business, she and my dad were at times two ships passing in the night, probably for a great deal of my adolescence, truth be known. But now that they're empty-nesters, they've been able to reconnect in ways that life was too hectic for before...vacations get taken now that were not in the budget when four kids were at home, road trips to visit grown kids/grandkids, etc. I know I'll call to check in on Sundays (I live about 500 miles away from them, now), and my mom will note that they've been sitting, having coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls, dad reading the Chicago Trib while mom does the crossword puzzle from it. When I was growing up, they were too exhausted with life and childrearing responsibilities to take time to just relax and be together in this type of way. Any spare moment that could be grabbed was used to quick catch up on sleep or laundry.
I don't think that people in two-year long cohabiting relationships who are at the point where they have nothing to say to one another anymore fall into this category, per se, but I do think that strong, long-term relationships have this type of ebb and flow, and can weather it, if both parties are truly committed.
I was talking to my girlfriend the other day who I have not seen in ages. We went to high school together. She got married when she was early 20s and they had two kids, which are the light of her life.
We had a few glasses of wine and she started crying to me and confessed that she feels like her and her man live together like roommates.
I wasn't sure what to say because I know them both and don't want to hear about the problems, so I sort of changed the subject.
But now I'm wondering what does that mean, roommates? I really thought they were happy together.
Pretty clear I would think. They no longer have intimate relations. The romance is gone. What's so hard to understand?
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